Posts Tagged ‘judge’


Penelope Soto

Penelope Soto

“America’s criminal justice system isn’t known for rehabilitation. I’m not sure that, as a society, we are even interested in that concept anymore.”~Steve Earle

If you will remember ohhhh, about nearly 325 posts ago, maybe a year ago, I wrote about the viral story of Penelope Soto and her unusual rise to viral fame in a Florida courtroom.

Since her viral story, I honestly lost interest in it because I believed that what the judge had ordered against her as judgement was fair and right.

But little did I know that there would be more to this story. The things that DIDN’T go viral which actually makes the story have a “happy ending” of sorts.

VERY quickly and VERY shortly after Soto flipped off a Florida judge, did she return to court and apologized for her actions. Then she explained that she was on drugs (the very same that she was being charged with possession of) and said that’s not who she was. The judge then accepted Soto’s apology, dropped the 30 day jail sentence for her finger action as well as the drug possession charge altogether.

Since then, I have read that Soto has been subject to random drug tests. All of which she did pass. And she returned to court to follow up on her case. But this time smiling, even cracking a joke or two along with the judge.

So now she lives her life allegedly drug free.

Don’t get me wrong… all in all, I am very happy to see that Penelope Soto has decided to stop doing drugs. But the personal levels of frustration set in because I know that if I was on Xanax as she was, and I was in court as she was, and I did the same exact thing to a judge that she had done… I would be locked up.

And as I said, this “revelation of an update” was already one year ago or more… I just never heard about it until now. Oh well!!!

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. “~ Wayne Dyer
I have a tale for you.
The relationship is over. As least for these two. And it is all because of someone falsely judging another.
Holly had a birthday party. She invited her best friend Kimberly to come. But Kimberly had given her RSVP as a “NO”. At first, Holly didn’t think too much about it. But soon after that, Holly began to become bitter that her best friend wasn’t going to be there at her birthday party. Kimberly was the best and only friend that Holly had. And it had started back when they were both about six years old.
The party came and went. Kimberly of course wasn’t there. And Holly had a miserable time at her own party even though she stuck it out with wearing a mask of smiles to the rest of her party guests.
Holly never did go to her best friend to find out why she didn’t attend the birthday party. Instead, Holly made up her own assumptions and investigated Kimberly’s whereabouts using leads outside of simply asking her.
Holly decided that Kimberly was not the best friend she thought. And refused to talk to her for weeks and even months. Even though Kimberly did attempt to communicate with Holly some time after the party. Holly was too set in her ways to “punish” Kimberly for what she had done until Kimberly saw the light.
But because of the silent treatment, Holly ended up losing Kimberly as a friend. By the time Holly was “ready” to talk to her again, Kimberly had moved on. 
Holly absolutely took it upon herself to be Kimberly’s judge, jury, and executioner. Because of the fact that Kimberly didn’t go to the party, then Holly deemed Kimberly guilty of being a terrible friend and chose the method of execution to be the silent treatment. But what Holly didn’t realize is that the longer she stayed silent, the worse it got for their relationship.
This is just one example of how our attitudes and behaviors can actually do more damage than good. All because someone has said or done something that we did not agree with. Where in the world do we get off believing that it is “okay” to punish those people for saying or doing those things?
We receive the answers that we deep down, don’t want. And because of it, we set out to make those who gave us those answers to suffer. Does this make any sense to anybody out there?!?
I’ve done it. We ALL… have done this in some form or another to those whom we say that we love. But in doing so, did it ever give us the result that we truly wanted? Absolutely not!
If life was meant to be a peach, we’d all have pie. But then nobody would want cake. Life is full of disappointments and in some cases- failures. A lot of the times, these disappointments are out of our control. Instead of forcing our views upon people for the sake of getting our way all of the time, we should be learning from the times when things just don’t go the way we had hoped.
If we continue to behave like this… are WE really being the friend that we say that we are? Are we, really??


“Cunning leads to knavery. It is but a step from one to the other, and that very slippery. Only lying makes the difference; add that to cunning, and it is knavery.”~ Ovid
In Aesop’s Fable, the boy who cried wolf involved himself in a selfish game of lying had eventually turned into a disaster when a wolf finally did show up and destroyed everything. Naturally the moral of the story was that in the end, liars will never be believed in again.
When we tells lies, we damage the trust and faith that other people have in us. As we continue to lie, there comes a time where those around us will just stop believing in us. They will stop listening to us. And really- who could blame them? Especially if those lies that were told to us caused a significant amount of damage in some way or another.
So then what happens after we stop listening to the liars?
Well first off, congratulations for being strong enough to stand up to that person who had been deceiving you all this time. It isn’t that easy! But then we start over and we say that we “learned our lesson”. We now know that we cannot trust that person because more times than not, they would lie to us again and again if we gave them the opportunity to do so. Even if we confront them with their behavior and tell them, “You are a liar!”, and then they solemnly admit to it… that’s not really going to stop them from doing it again.
But for others, they may now know that they cannot trust or have any faith in the person who had done them wrong by lying. And the sad fact of the matter is that now their faith and trust in all of mankind is gone.
I would never condone anyone to put up with somebody who constantly was damaging people by lying.
I watched over the past few years two friends in which the relationship had been destroyed by manipulation and lies. The one who was being lied to finally saw the “truth”, and walked away. Ultimately ending the friendship for good. But that person who had been burned, carried that sense of damage with them into future relationships. They simply will not allow themselves to trust another person.
I think that we all can agree that we would not blame that person for not trusting again in the same way. That person’s life has been forever changed. And the unfortunate side of this particular story is that this person refuses to even try to trust anyone else after being burned.
I do not believe that is fair.
There’s a saying that if you fall off the horse, you should get right back on it again. Loosely paraphrased.
Yes, you are hurt, angry, and upset. And it will take some time to get over it. But do you think that it is really fair that because someone else had done you wrong, that you should automatically start to believe that everyone else will too?? Absolutely not!
There is no good or real reason why you should live the rest of your life with your walls up. Because you will never find what good there is on the other side.
Let me repeat myself: Nobody would ever blame you for not wanting to trust the person who had or who has been hurting you.
And yet, to make the choice to believe that because one person did it, the world is going to as well, is nothing short of unfair and untrue.
There have been many times where I have discussed the hardships that I have dealt with in life because of this. I have mentioned them frequently throughout this blog. And I suppose that this blog post shall be no different. Many times have I talked about the hardships of finding someone interesting and then trying to get to know that person, only to have them shut me out because I posess some kind of similar trait to those who had previously harmed them. Which was something that I could never have known without being told personally. And therefore, I struggle to show that “I’m not like the others.” And many times I have come across those who are just cemented in their own thoughts that I can never show them what they need to see. So I end up hurt because I was never really given a chance in the first place.
You can take some kind of wisdom out of one of these two phrases:
Life is unfair.
Shit happens.
People are full of inaccuracies. That is how we were made. But allowing someone else’s faults to rule how we live our own lives after the fact that damage has been done doesn’t become fair to anyone else, not even to yourself!
We cannot stop people from lying. We cannot stop people from manipulating. But what we can do is know that each person is quite different from the other. And so how would you know, if you don’t give that next person a real chance?? We can stop trusting in those who lie to us, but we can give that new person a chance.
We do not have to put up with anyone’s behavior if we do not want to. That is the freedom of our choice. Masking the fact that everyone else is the same, becomes nothing but another lie. And this one you have told to yourself.
We can take the lessons that we did learn from the previously ending relationship and apply them. Once we start to actually see a pattern within that next person that is similar to the one we just ended all bonds with, THEN it might be time to stop and think about whether or not the two are having anything in common. It’s not fair to be quick to judge this though.
Those who have abused us, ruin it for the rest of the world in so many ways during so many times. We’ve got to really ponder about this.
Just because I wear red constantly, or black- does that mean that all people who are in wheelchairs also wear red and/or black?
A man found that his wife was cheating on him. He caught her in the act and then divorced her. He was smart enough to know that the relationship needed to end. But he was also foolish enough to think that ALL WOMEN are cheaters.
Do you finally get what I am saying?? Is this man’s perception of women valid and fair? Of course not!
That same man never married again. He never even bothered to date or meet new people. Needless to say that the rest of his life, he was quite miserable. He believed in the lie that he told to himself that all women cheat. And therefore he never allowed the opportunity for happiness through companionship in his life, and it caused him to be lonely and bitter. He should have taken his time to get over the pain of the loss, and moved on. He never knew what possibilities of better fulfillment through the companionship of another female could be like.
Let’s stop judging one another. Take the time to heal and then let’s get back to life as we once knew it. Don’t go on existing with closed doors and high walls around you.
Be strong and know when enough is enough. And also start over with a clean slate and a fresh mind and do not fall into the traps that everything is always the same.