Stop Messing With Nature

“Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.”~ Russell Baker

Welcome to the beginning of July in the year 2014. For those of you who have been waiting for it, please be patient. The bitchy blog posts about heat, humidity, and unbearable air temperatures during summer are coming. Just not yet. Hang in there!

But in all seriousness- let’s have a chat. Just you and I.

For those of you that have been paying attention, you know that there’s a nest full of barn swallows and right now is the time that these birds are being born and eggs are hatching.

Round two is happening currently as we speak for this year/season. The birds have hatched and they are just about ready to learn how to fly. I don’t know for sure whether or not we’ll have a third round of eggs. It is rare but has happened before.

But as with every year, there’s bird drama. And it happened yesterday evening when I heard a bunch of voices of children hanging around my front door.

One of the baby birds had accidentally fallen out of the nest and was on the ground. Its neck seemingly broken as it was able to twist it in ways humans can’t even dream of. But I don’t know for sure whether or not barn swallows have that same neck structure as say, an owl does. Able to turn it directly behind itself and look.

Whatever it was, it had caused one of the “bird parents” to come down from there nest and perch upon a shopping cart that got left on my patio area… watching its young struggle to move about. It had not yet learned how to fly at this point, so it was really at a poor disadvantage.

However if we have learned anything by having these birds come and build their nests is that you do not mess with the young. You do not touch any of the birds. And you must certainly do not touch any of the baby birds that may have fallen out of the nest. Its just nature happening. As sad as it may be. 

A few summers ago, our maintenance guy decided to mess with the nest by flashing an LED light inside while the birds were sleeping. Maintenance was attacked viciously to the point where he became paranoid about birds if he had to come over to my home.

A social services coordinator attempted to lift a baby bird back into the nest because it had fallen out. That bird (even though was returned from the nest) was forced out of the nest again and landed on the ground and soon after that perished.

The lessons came quick. DO NOT TOUCH THE BIRDS. DO NOT INTERVENE WITH THE BIRDS. DO NOT HANDLE THE BIRDS.

Once a human being does that, then the adult birds stop caring for it and force it away where it actually is left to die.

Granted, barn swallows are not very large birds in size. But birds are birds. And to this day I do not know why they trust me, but they do. Enough to build their nests and enough to NOT attack me when I come out of my front door to do whatever it is that I need to do that day. 

Usually the adult birds will just fly away, swoop around, and come back to the nest once I have cleared the area.

These children last night however, were hovering and circling around this one bird that unfortunately fell out of the nest. I warned the children not to touch the baby bird. I warned them to stay away from the baby bird because the adults would come after them.

I’ve seen it happen before. Birds will defend their own.

And instead of paying attention to me and listening, the oldest child of the group took off her jacket and wrapped the baby bird with the sleeve of the jacket and picked it up. The adult birds were flying back and forth in a super rage. It was horrible to watch. And it had to be terrifying for the birds to watch their young being picked up and carried away. 

Since someone touched the bird, the adults left it alone. The kids took off with it but then minutes later came back with it and put it back on the same spot on the ground as they picked it up. But it was too late. The adult birds already abandoned it.

So this morning, I find the adult birds still perched lower to the ground, but the baby bird was on the ground and had not survived.

And to think that this bird would have had a fighting chance as it struggled to move. Just a crash course in learning how to fly and it would have lived and been okay and probably in the future, been something that laid its own eggs.

Again human nature got in the way and spoiled everything for this winged baby. Sealing its doomed fate.

As difficult as it may be for some adults, we’ve got to learn to leave animals alone. Even while the animals are “in their hour of need.”

If the young of an animal will be abandoned if interfered with by humans, then yes – just leave them alone and hope and pray for the best.

Lessons Of Sorrow

I learned a lot today. Some things new, other things were more of a review.

This blog post comes unscripted, unplanned. And I will leave it up to the readers to decide whether or not it is good.

In trying to select an image for this blog post (once I decided that I would write it) I read a phrase. I don’t know if it is a quote from something specific or not.

“I can’t sleep because my pillow is all wet.”

The phrase clearly indicates that the person is crying in the middle of the night. And to be honest, I have been as well tonight. So I sit here in the silence of the dark, writing.

I have been living with a broken heart this evening. My lesson was that the past isn’t something that you can change. No amount of having the will or desire would ever change me into a super hero where I can turn back the hands of time and go back and FIX what would be that exact moment where my heart would begin to unravel.

And yet, there was something else that I would learn. Or at least remember about myself. And that lesson is the fact that I still have the capability to let go of my own hurt. More specifically, letting it go when I know that someone ELSE is hurting. And it is time for me to be that friend that they need because it is their time of sorrow, loss, and pain.

Right now in my life, there are a lot of other people who are hurting. They are lost, confused, sad, and don’t really know if the sun will ever rise again. It is my duty as a friend to be there for them in this stressful hour of need. And I know that I can be there for them and that I will be there for them. It is my duty as I took on the risk. My part of the bargain of maintaining what I have come to know as a friendship filled with love and compassion.

We’ve all been in the situation where we’ve heard about someone’s pain and we wished that we could just take it all away from them. But that magic pill hasn’t been invented as of yet. And until it is, it would just be better if we realize that we have to do the best to our abilities to sit down in silence, shut up, and listen to the cries of help.

One aspect of a friendship that I have learned through my own experiences is that “being there for someone” doesn’t necessarily mean you are there to give advice. “Being there” often means that you are listening to whatever problems your friends are having. Allowing them to say what is on their minds and in their hearts for the sake of them getting it off the chest and eventually work towards the healing process away from the current pain that they are experiencing.

I’ve gone through many times of being called on the telephone and the conversation lasted over an hour. And by the end of it, I’ve only said about a dozen words. Giving that person the opportunity to go through the motions and say what they need to say and having the thought process of what they are thinking outloud has always appeared to give that person some clarity in their confusing and frustrating world.

But no matter what whenever that person disconnected the telephone conversation has always been able to feel like they were starting to get back on their feet again. Because basically, all they needed was that attention for that time, without having the need for feedback or a sounding board.

That’s the kind of person that I am. Plain and simple.

I hate the fact that these people are hurting at the moment. I also hate the fact that there’s really nothing concrete that I can do. Other than listen.

I love my friends. And I am not a person who is shy to say it or admit it. Those who are really close to me know this about me. Because I tell them every chance that I get. Whether in times of rejoicing or in times of sorrow. This blog post just happens to be brought upon by a lot of people that I know who are experiencing sorrow. And should they call upon me again and again, I will remind them.

I have a very large reputation on the Internet for being this way. And so far, there’s never been any permanent damage from it. In fact, it is quite the opposite. When I have sacrificed whatever is going on in my life at that moment for the sake of someone’s heart who is breaking and I have listened? It has always turned out wonderfully in the end. Particularly for those who were previously drowning in sadness.

Again, that’s who I am.

I also believe that when the clouds are over us and we cannot see the silver lining, that we often forget that we are actually blessed with the fact that we have friends. Friends that we can depend on to be there for us in our need. Not so much that, but what is forgotten is the amount of friends that we have, that will support us. Friends that “have our backs”. Yeah sure, we call upon specific people because we know that we can rely on them. But there’s also those in whom we do not call upon. It doesn’t mean that they are not there sitting in our corner. It is something that is just simply forgotten because our minds are so concentrated on the fact that we are hurting.

I have no idea when all of this will end for everyone that I know specifically, who is hurting and is having a difficult time. I cannot tell the future nor read minds. But from what I have experienced personally- I’ve always come to a point where I have hit nothing but the bottom of the barrel, and still some how and in some way managed to reach the top again.

Those that I know who are down right now, will also reach the top. Each and every one of us has that capability.

Nobody said that life was easy. And then again, nobody said that we had to live our life alone.

But I surround those right now who are down, with the love from the bottom of my heart and I will open myself to them if they need me.

If we are able to do that, and not expect anything much in return (if anything at all), I believe that is the true definition of a friendship that has a foundation based on love, trust, and faith. 

 

You’re Not Listening!

“Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.” ~ Jeff Daniels as ‘Harry’ in “Dumb and Dumber” (1994)

You know, every once in a while the bite of reality clamps on to my butt and hangs on the for the long haul. Just when I thought that I knew someone well enough, they go and they prove me totally wrong!

What is it about people and their apparent inability to listen? Are there people really that bad to the point where they just won’t listen to anyone?

This ‘chick’ as I shall call her at the moment came to me asking my opinion about a specific online forum that she had an interest in, that was in common with what I enjoy. I gave my opinion and told her both about the pros and the cons of joining such a forum. Realizing that I would not honestly be able to tell her not to join or whether to join because I am not her father. Nor am I in any position with regards to her on telling her what to do.

So the cons were that there were specific members of this forum that I warned her very specifically to stay away from because they’ve had a history of causing some bad blood amongst their members, particularly newer ones who join. Trolls or creepers, whichever term you prefer.

She joins the forum anyway. I brushed it off. Not even a full 24 hour period went by when I had heard from a third party that she had joined the forum, does she come crying to my side… totally freaked out about those members in which I had previously warned her about staying away from.

You insenstive cow! You did not listen to me!! And now you got your feelings hurt and you feel that you are being stalked because you made the choice to connects with these idiots on a personal level by handing out your personal contact information.

This is MY fault? HOW?????

I’m not the world’s best professional on giving out advice. I mean, I’m not getting paid for it. Neither am I getting paid for offering my opinion, because you already know what they say about people and their having an opinion.

Yet I would think that with some of my closest colleagues, they would trust and have faith in what I am saying and telling them what is true. Apparently she had to find out for herself… which is fine. Sometimes, I am that way too. But she had been warned. Now she can’t get rid of them. And this is “all because of me”.

Maybe next time she’ll pay attention. But it won’t be to me as I have removed myself from her situation in any and all regards.

If you’re not going to listen to me, well that is your choice. But keep in mind that whatever happens, whether good or bad, is also your consequence and not mine. If you choose to ignore my words/thoughts/feelings, then so be it. But do NOT dare return and place the blame on me for something that went wrong. And perhaps you’ll think twice about asking or seeking my advice to begin with. You asked, I gave. Then you ignored, and got burned.

Your choice, your consequence. I am not the guilty party here.