Disgusting

“For me, the wheelchair symbolizes disability in a way a cane does not.”~ Annette Funicello

I am, I really am. I don’t know whether to go on a rampage or cry my eyes out.

Or both??

I know that most men and their behavior stinks when they are amongst their own ranks. But for them to go public on a forum is … well, I don’t know.

Crazy? Stupid? Ballsy? Rude? Typical??

I don’t know. I just know that as a person in a wheelchair AND a male…. this pissed me off twice.

I could not believe it.

I didn’t even bother going through the entire list of pages of the forum’s posts. The more that I read, the angrier I became.

So yeah….

There’s nothing wrong with sexual attraction. None whatsoever.

And there’s a certain point of victory when someone in a wheelchair is the recipient.

But the comments left behind were so damned disgusting.

Have a peek:

http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-9797.html

 

The “Man”struate

“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.”~ Roseanne Barr

Men normally are quick to blame a woman for her behavior on her menstrual cycle, especially if she’s extra moody or comes off irrational.

Women have hated that for many years that men automatically assume that they are on their periods because of their demeanor.

Well, guess what? There’s now a flip side to this situation.

“Man” struation.

Urban dictionary defines this as:

A guy who is really irritable, bitchy and indecisive. Just like girls on their period.

So now there’s an answer for women should they choose to blame a man’s foul behavior on something else.

Men now have no grounds to blame a woman for her poor behavior as they now have something equally damning against men and their behavior.

So obviously its not THIS bad, for women. Even though they may feel like it. But still, men are just as grouchy and irritable. If it is THIS bad, consult a doctor immediately.

Men are getting more and more irritable, moody, depressed, irrational, and even less capable to get along with other people. Sometimes its worse than the woman’s PMS.

I know its something. I’ve been there. I have been there for days now, possibly weeks. It takes very little to set me off it seems. The obvious differences is that the men do not have any physical symptoms or signs, such as bleeding.

But perhaps I am getting too far ahead of myself. All this week, I’ve been sent over the edge, grouchy and bitchy and miserable and there doesn’t seem to be a sign ahead of it coming to an end.

I’ve been avoiding friends because of my attitude and behavior. And its really not all that fair if they want to socialize with me and I am just avoiding them. After all, it really is true what they say:

It is not you, it is me.

The concept of men going through this is becoming more and more accepted in today’s culture. So much that there are jokes made about it on television programs such as the comedy series, The Big Bang Theory.

My friends in my social circles are in fact important to me, and if I have been offending them then I apologize.

So women: if you have suddenly flown off the handle and a man decides to assume that you are experiencing your time of the month, keep in mind that the next time HE gets crazy… then there’s probably something to it and you can be sure that he is the one who is “man”struating.

 

Display Of Dumb

“I’m not sure why I’m so often disgusting on stage. I don’t always know where it comes from.”~ Louis C. K.

I was heard it said that men were either 100% perverts or 100% liars. It was based upon what a group of women were discussing at the time and I just happened to have been in the same room with them.

But the underlying subject was of men and pornography. And the ultimate and unanimous feeling on the topic was that when they would ask a man whether or not they were into pornography, they were either perverts when they said that they were or they were liars when they said that they were not.

I kind of see a double standard here. This was back in the hey day of the Internet and how wildly accessible it had become to the average household across the world.

But he question really is a double-edged sword because no matter how the man would answer, it just would paint him into a corner to show that the guy was not all that noble or good.

Say what you will about men and their pornography, ladies! Say all that you will. But understand that there are women out there who are just as involved in it as men are.

With all of that being said, it brings me to the tale that I have decided to share with you about the dumb public displays of manhood.

Men talk about women. Men stare at women. Men desire women…. sexually. And of course, vice versa.

But in the words of comedian Larry Miller there’s a difference. That being when comparing how women look at men sexually and men look at women sexually, its the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it.

Three men this afternoon were huddled around one computer today. They were looking at photographs of women and making their sexual comments of their desires of conquest in the bedroom with them. Some random photo album that I have no idea where it came from just loaded with thousands of photographs of women. Supermodels, amateur models, and female porn stars were all included.

Until one of them spoke up and declared that the woman that they were viewing at the time was some adult porn star and called her out by name. And he would give a very quick 15 second biography on the porn star as well as a rapid fire tutorial on her filmography.

These men were impressed and then they continued on.

Gross!!

Then it became something of a trivial game as they attempted to be the first person to correctly identify the porn star before anyone else could come up. Finally, they stumbled across one and that began a rather spirited debate.

Before I knew it, they were all participating in a Who’s Who of female adult film stars that got out of control!

The first guy to name a name blurted out the first name he could think of. The others were assuming that the first guy was actually incorrect. And then the debate started. Their mockery of one another continued to get louder and louder and louder. The first guy challenging the rest of them to prove him wrong.

The party however was broken up, and everyone left. But the discussion wasn’t over. They were told to leave as they were beginning to access XXX sites and that was against the rules and policies of computer use. Needless to say, they won’t be back. At least not to use any computer.

Their challenge with one another leading them to access those kinds of sites led to their demise as they broke the rules. Not realizing that their web searches were being recorded. Again I say…. dumb!!!

Now I would dare to guess that those males who do indulge themselves in pornography would much rather keep that known fact to themselves. And they will do that for various reasons.  But all in all they would prefer to keep the that kind of fact quiet and secret.

But no… these guys were letting out each and every cat out of every single bag known to mankind with their debate over which porn star’s photograph that they were looking at. The liars had become the perverts.

They had failed to keep their secret identities. And the very least that can be said about them, is that they know their porn stars. It was the ultimate act of being dumb. I suppose that for anyone that was keeping score or paying attention that these guys will now have a bit of a reputation because of their depth of knowledge….. so to speak.

The brilliant author and relationship guru (as I call her), Jodi Ambrose, has spoken about the topic of men and their pornography. However, I am ashamed to admit that her exact words escape me. Perhaps I should go back and do some digging to find out what it was she had said.

By the way, Jodi had one hell of a blog post the other evening when she told her tale about getting a pedicure. It was asfunny as it was vulgar. But I digress. Find her blog and just get ready to be amazed. I will not spoil it for you. You can find her website in the Blogroll, which will lead you to her blog.

At the end of the day I just shook my head at these men. Their caveman mentality didn’t even get out of the Stone Age and they were completely oblivious to their surroundings. Proud of knowing the Who’s Who in the porn industry.

Two of them that I know of, do have girlfriends. If this gets back to them… I wonder how long that will last. But who knows, that will become their business and none of mine.

We all do stupid stuff, men AND women. But this gross display of machismo amongst this band of brotherhood was enough to really turn off a lot of people who had to hear it because they were yelling.

Perhaps I should give them the Dumbass Award?

What do you think??

Beauty, Respect, And My Mouth

“Well for ‘a brief shining moment’…and then that mouth”~ Michael Caine in “Miss Congeniality” [2000]

In my short life online, I have to say that I have stumbled and mixed paths with some very beautiful women. And in the beginning, I knew that kindness and respect would get me far. But back then, ashamed to say that it didn’t actually last too long before I gave them the unusual impression that I was some kind of maniacal marauder.

Why? Because of my mouth.

It was awful that I had said something so quizzical to someone that it would be misconstrued. The next thing I know, they vanish forever. And probably offended to the most degree.

Looking back, I honestly regret having said what I did. And understanding HOW that might have been a bad thing. Lessons learned over the course of several years before I learned to relax and just take things one conversation at a time. And actually take time to think and re-think and then re-think again before I say much of anything.

But the mouth returns and gets in the way and just blows everything into bits.

I’ve abandoned the complete and total adulation conversation for the most part. Through experience and watching others, the adulation is nothing that these women hasn’t heard before by anyone else. So why in the world would I believe that I would stand out? One doesn’t necessarily stand out when joining the masses of others who have gotten out of control to speak their opinions about how gorgeous, beautiful, and sexy some woman is.

I’ve learned that models, personalities, and “small time celebrities” are human too. Complete with feelings and opinions of their own. And they are none too shy to express that, when you are talking with them and acting like a complete and total ass hat.

Almost ten years ago, I was chatting with a woman from Hollywood, California. And even though everyone who reads this blog knows how I feel about all of that, I was attempting to get passed all of that and actually KNOW the woman. She was a performer of sorts. So I casually brought up the question of what it would take (money wise) to have her come local and perform.

When she gave her price, which was seriously high, I sat there blinking and staring at the screen thinking what in the world could cost THAT much money! She also insisted on paying for airfare and a place to sleep, which I did think was fair. But both items didn’t actually cost that much money. So then: enter my mouth.

What I told her was a legit concern. I was worried about spending so much money for her to do what she does and then just leave and return home. To me, it wasn’t worth it so I asked her if she was willing to do something more than that so that it would be worth that high price in my mind. But it came across to HER like I was propositioning her for a little “somethin-somethin” on the side.

Needless to say that she vanished within a month after that conversation online.

I could see the problem and it was an accident, a  mistake. But I could still see why she split!

And then a little more than a year ago it happened again with an author that I was attempting to get across my point that I wanted an autograph. She doesn’t live nearby so it would take some money and travel in order to personally receive her autograph. And I went on and on about how expensive that would be to me and what not. I was very comfortable giving her my mailing address to see what she might sign and put in the mail.  Again, the mouth got in the way. Even though she attempted to bring up a tentative invitation of having lunch or coffee.

I have since then learned to pull back and tone it down…. A LOT!

I always get the generous invitation and then my mouth turns around and spoils it.

If I do not respect these women, then I shouldn’t expect them to respond kindly.

I think that though it is totally awesome that when these kinds of things happen with certain women and they offer a tentative time for lunch or coffee or drinks with their family and/or husband, that it should tell me that they are trusting in me enough to do something so bold. And that I have EARNED their trust. I think that it comes from each and every time I have spoken to these women that I have been nice, social, kind, as well as respectful. Particularly when there is a mention of a husband.

 

Why wouldn’t there be a husband? I think that these women are very attractive, so its not a surprise that they would be married for years already. But they are showing their trust in me and that really needs to sink in.

Also I should learn that when these women are willing enough to offer something like that. I just need to be thankful towards them and then after that? SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

I should not complain about the difficulty, I should not complain about the hardship in order to make it happen. Rather I should stop talking and then later on try to figure out a way TO MAKE it happen!

Very early this morning I received yet another generous invitation. It was the “if you are ever in the area….” conversations. The thing is that it was the second time she had mentioned it. And instead of seeing that she was quite serious and friendly about her invitation, I opened my mouth about how I could take a day trip and make all kinds of fun about it, but after the holidays.

Saying crap like that can often lead to a retraction of someone’s invitation. Its happened to me before. I hope however, that this most recent flap of the lips didn’t do any damage at all.

I hope that my brief stories of experiences will be a warning to some. Telling someone that you think they are beautiful isn’t a crime. However, going on and on and on about it gets old fast. More than likely, they’ve already heard it before so many times that it just flies over their heads as they ignore it all.

There’s nothing wrong with thinking that someone is beautiful or sexy. However if you vomit your opinion on someone, all you are doing is getting them dirty and they aren’t going to like it all that much and so their first impression of you is automatically negative.  

Will you stand out in their mind? Maybe. But if you do, it might not be what you were wanting.

Men and women DO have feelings just like yourself. If you’re just trying to jump in the sack with someone that you just saw and thought that they really flip your pancakes, chances are that if you take that route of trying to gain their attention, you may get their attention. But your pancakes are going to burn.

Stop burning your pancakes. Treat other people with respect.

And this goes for me as well as others– learn to shut up. Less can be more in this situation.

I’m actually stunned most of the time when I see the comments and posts made by men that are constantly the same. And then they say the same to other women. As if they are spreading around their so-called complimentary words thinking that eventually one of them are going to take the bait.

Nine times out of ten, its going to be ignored. Sad to say that in my early years of being online, I did nearly the same thing. I did however, learn not to vomit on women. Sometimes my mouth will cause a little spit up as I struggle with learning to shut up, but a little drool is a lot easier to clean up than verbal vomit.

I get so frustrated at times when I read these kinds of comments. It makes me want to reach into the monitor and choke them and try to slap some sense into them. But that’s never going to happen. And I suppose that when they are in this habit of doing crap like that, then the chances of them learning the mistake is less and less.

For lack of a good analogy: Let sleeping dogs lie.

Express yourself but do it with respect towards others. Learn to leave it alone.

 

 

 

 

The Testiculate

I’m just going to jump right into it.

All of us have seen the horror of other people’s lives by watching what they post on Facebook. And all of us are bombarded with shared posts from different and unique fan pages. It happens all of the time.

Yesterday the care-free afternoon turned almost instantaneously into a fight to the death for one fan page.

The administrator is a mildly attractive woman and an amateur-ish model.

But in her exact moment of despair she posted “I HATE HIM! IT’S OVER!”. Signaling the end of the relationship between herself and her boyfriend.

Come to find out that she had just seconds before broken up with a boyfriend that she was frustrated with, via text message.

For the next several minutes there were messages from those who had joined the fan page. ALL men. And they were fighting with one another over her.

And meanwhile as I was contemplating whether to leave a comment of condolences or of humor, the comment feed just exploded.

These men at first were not going after each other. But what they were doing was trying to win the affections of the administrator by offering her gifts.

“I’d come over there with a box of chocolates.”

“I’ll stop by with roses.”

“I’ll be there and give you a massage every night for the rest of your life.”

And so on.

Then the content had changed to bashing the newly broken up boyfriend. Many of them calling him a loser and saying things like he doesn’t know what he is missing, etc.

Her ego must have been sailing.

After a while, I noticed that she was in a sense encouraging it.

But by the time I had made up my mind about leaving a comment, it was far too late and it wouldn’t have mattered.

Then I noticed a friend of mine who was also on the fan page say something. So I asked him what in the world was going on with all the testiculating going on.

He mentioned that in an earlier post (that I had missed) that she said that the boyfriend was treating her poorly and didn’t trust her being on the Internet as much as she is.

From that, I decided to just lay low.

But those comments from men kept growing. And I thought about my purpose of being a part of that fan page. And there really wasn’t anything solid that I could come up to justify it.

The promises of showering her with gifts in order to win her over kept pouring in.

At the very end, I saw a guy promise to get her a brand new car and bring a bottle of Dom.

That was all she wrote! I left the fan page immediately.

Let me admit something: Men are often stupid. And these guys were blemishing the male stereotype as well as posing as a danger and a threat to my own reputation because I AM a male. These are the kinds of guys that make me look bad, when I’ve not even had a chance to foul things up for myself. Believe me, I know how to mess things up and I can do it all by myself, thank you very much!!

And after I had time to think about it, I was so glad that I didn’t leave ANY comment at all and had left the fan page altogether.

The administrator’s ego was inflated so much that I personally can do nothing to help maintain it. But as it was, this was a break-up and it wasn’t a time for games. That isn’t really what she needed.

Besides, who in the world wants to be “the rebound relationship”? Certainly not I.

And if the relationship is solely based on that kind of materialism, how long do you honestly think that it will last? People are so notorious for breaking other people’s banks and then moving on to the next person.

Where’s the respect? Where’s the honor??

So then when I checked my messages for the first time this morning, my friend wrote me to say that on the fan page, the administrator had left another message stating that she had it out with her boyfriend, but they reconciled.

Wow, I bet those guys who were scrambling to win her over feel like crap!

A man’s ability to testiculate far outweighs his ability to think, especially when the flow of blood has gone downstairs.

 

Chivalry

“But the age of chivalry is gone. That of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded; and the glory of Europe is extinguished forever.”~ Edmund Burke

 

This post is probably going to be beating a dead horse for some. But I’m going to write it regardless.

 

Most of us when the word “chivalry” is spoken, the instant thought that comes to mind are knights in shining armor and damsels in distress. They are both right AND wrong.

 

The attitude comes from the Middle Ages. The attitude of how men and women interacted with one another. It just so happens that the men were in armor and a lot of the times women were in distress. The men took it upon themselves to save them.

 

However the definition covers a broader area than just riding on horses, wearing suits of armor and killing the bad guy before the lady is overcome and defeated, just in the nick of time. The definition is “being courteous, especially towards women.”

 

So then, let’s ask: Is chivalry dead??

 

I personally do not believe that it is. To quote the film, “The Princess Bride”, it is ‘mostly dead’.

 

The word of chivalry comes from 1292. And that is a very LONG time ago. The world was nowhere near like it is today in the 21st Century. But as most things, the meanings and definitions as well as the understanding of language evolved. The word actually means “of horsemanship”. Yeah. Not so romantic, is it??

 

With the introduction of equality, chivalry has seemed to begin the final chapter of its existence. What used to be considered an act of chivalry, now is interpreted by many as condescension.

 

Most importantly, there is a vast difference in how things were in Europe nearly 800 years ago to the world as it is today.

 

Women were not seen as equals back then. They were considered weak and frail. And it was upon the shoulders of men to protect them. And now today, it’s a whole new situation as women are standing up for themselves in the public eye.

 

But before this gets off track, I want to go back to the original definition that was found. “Being courteous, especially towards women.”

 

There are still men who are courteous in this world. Particularly when it comes to women. I know that some women would say that they no longer exist. And those are the ones who are sighing in their bedrooms all alone, waiting for their Prince Charming. And they just are unable to find those who would be courteous towards them. So their ultimate reasoning based on their experience is that it doesn’t exist any more. Or they’re standards for men are far higher than any one person could possibly measure up to.

 

It doesn’t mean that chivalry is dead though. It’s just on life support… as one dared to joke.

 

I will notuse profanity in the actual presence of women. (Unless I know them to be profane themselves, which then just becomes dialogue.) I allow women to walk ahead of me. I open doors for them, whenever it is possible. They are first in line before me. I say things like “please” and “thank you” and smile while doing so in the presence of women. And if it is someone who I do not know personally, I always say, “ma’am” or “Miss”. I look them in the eye when I and speaking with them.

Chivalry is 'mostly dead'.

 

Why do I do all of these things? Because I am being courteous towards women. And let’s not get off track here about how it is all just a ploy to take advantage of someone in the hopes and tasks of getting what I want. No!! It is called having a respectful nature towards women.

 

For those women who have had some kind of interaction with me, they know all of this to be true. But I am not asking for their testimony either.

 

I am stating that I am one that does NOT want to see chivalry die out. I believe that it still is important in the 21st Century as it was in Europe in the Middle Ages. And I think that it doesn’t have to die. Even in a world were equality has become a focus. And there is nothing wrong with equality, I believe that there are some women who actually appreciate the courteous nature of men. HONEST men.

 

 

Getting Territorial

“A woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart.”~William Shakespeare

So I’ve decided while this is still fresh, to share this with you. I received quite the wicked message from a man who apparently has “the lovers making of 10,000 men”. It was not in the least bit pleasant and definitely something that has been written out of rage. At first, it was offensive. But when I read it over a few times, it just got stupid and I began to find a lot of humor in it because it is so senseless, unnecessary, and above all: wrong.

I find the reason behind this message being written to me to be just as laughable. Sufficed to say, I did not reply. I did not ask questions. I simply deleted the message. But what I did do was copied it.

This message that is written by this man is involving a woman that he and I both know and associate with. For myself, it is at a social and platonic level. But evidently, this woman has somehow developed into the love of his entire life.

I will keep the names out of it. Other than that I will not edit it, however I will warn you that the language is a bit rough. It reads as follows:

Hey dude,

Who the fuck do you think you are?? Do you think you are some kind of Romeo cuz you’re not. You’re not God’s gift to women either, you fucking jerkoff!! Why don’t you just fucking roll down a hill and off of a cliff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you think _______ is really all that impressed with you? Do you really think she is in love with you? Boy you have another thing coming if you think you are going to get down into her panties. I have a better shot at that than you do. I am not being cocky, I am just being real. Quit sending those stupid x’s and o’s and get out of the dark ages. Go find yourself another woman cuz I can speak for her right now she don’t want you, motherfucker. Fuck off and die.

As I said, I suspect this was written in anger. I am not the kind of person that will react to confrontation. In fact, I will avoid confrontation as much as possible. Particularly with people that I do not know. This guy, I don’t know anything about personally. Just that he and I have some kind of correspondence with the same woman.

It is actually primal and natural to be territorial. Men fight other men to keep other men away from their woman. They do things to make sure that nobody even dares to take a glance in the wrong way towards the woman that they are with. It would seem as if males are more territorial than females. But females also get territorial themselves. But I could be wrong. I honestly do not know who is more territorial, male or female? I have no clue.

But in this case where this man wrote me a message, is totally ridiculous.

So let me break this down and I hope that I can show you why I think this is funny.

First and foremost, my name isn’t “dude”.

Am I Romeo? No. Romeo is a fictional character in a play from Shakespeare. The character of Romeo also kills himself in the end. I am neither fictional or suicidal.

Am I God’s gift to women? Absolutely not! If I were “God’s gift to women”, I wouldn’t be sitting at home at this hour on a Friday night!! My Facebook friends list would be at maximum, my Twitter account would have thousands and thousands of followers, and my e-mail inbox would be FULL of messages to the point where it would no longer be accepting new messages because it reached its capacity. And my phone would be ringing off the hook.  None of these things are happening.

Sending x’s and o’s the last time I looked isn’t a crime. Rather it is something that I do. It is something that makes me who I am. I am an affectionate person and if I so choose to show affection by writing “xoxo”, then that’s what I do. Apparently this bothers him too much. Well, too bad.

Am I trying to get into someone’s pants? No. The woman who this man is referencing lives thousands of miles away from me. So the actual reality is that there’s no way that I could, even if I wanted to get inside of her pants. I may find this woman to be physically attractive but that doesn’t mean I am trying to engage in congress with her.

As far as I know, this woman could already have a social life of her own that includes sexual activity. Whether she does or not, is her business and not mine. And by the same token, it really isn’t any of this guy’s business either. But something inside of him that he saw me either say or do caused him to get so crazy out of his mind with rage and jealousy, that he thought it would be best if he marked his territory over this woman who lives thousands of miles away from her as well.

What they do and what they talk about is their business. What this woman & I do and talk about is MINE.

There are so many different theories as to why this man has done what he did. Personally, I don’t care. With his message though, he just showed his immaturity. I COULD HAVE forwarded the message to the woman in which this so-called conflict has taken place, but I don’t find the worth in doing so.

I firmly believe that this whole scenario is based on something that this man did not like and instead of seeking out the truth, he decided to make up his own mind about what was going on, and decided to speak while still processing his anger. And that is something that we as humans, should never do. Talk out of anger. It is something that takes practice though. It took me a very long time to realize my emotions that were becoming out of control and ultimately speaking out of anger. I since believe that I can edit my own self a little better and not do it so much.

In my last relationship, I yelled at my ex just once during the entire length of the time that we were together. But then I quickly realized that I had done so, I apologized to her immediately, and then tried to resolve the issue that we were arguing about from a different angle or method.

To speak out of anger, causes a lot of problems. For one, a person usually ends up saying something that they did not mean in the first place. They are hurt and all that they want to do is make the other person feel their hurt. So they say things that are not true just to hurt them. However in the end, all they have done is said things that they didn’t honestly mean or believe in, and caused themselves even more pain.

This guy however wants to be “King of the mountain”. So whatever.  And if he doesn’t like that I speak to women in certain ways well then he has the problem, and not mine. It will be something that he will just have to deal with or accept.

 

Just A Little Bit- Respect

The ways in which society evolves around itself never ceases to amaze me. How we as human beings treat one another seems to be in a constant state of change.

But there are some things that I have noticed that remain the same. And that is that we all demand respect.

In the past two weeks, I have heard several women tell me that they’ve felt disrespected both in the past and by others who they’ve chosen to surround themselves with today. Not just one, be several. There are many, many sob stories out there to be told about how (in general) men are totally disrespectful towards women. And they get away with it.

Perhaps I am already jumping on the issue that is a double standard. But personally, men crave respect as well. It just seems to me that men still do not respect women as much as they should. And they can get away with it. But if a woman is disrespectful towards a man, then suddenly she is sent to the gallows.

I do not think that there should be much of a difference between men and women respecting one another. Perhaps I am just one of those kinds of men that are so far back behind on what is socially acceptable in this day in age that I am  considered a dinosaur for my personal beliefs.

About a month ago, I was hanging out with my buddies, at a local restaurant. One of my friends decided to bring one of his own personal friends along with him and introduce him to everyone in the group. It was one of your typical “guy’s night out”.

So the ‘new guy’ starts talking about women and sharing his score card with the rest of the group and bragging about who he had slept with, and who did what to him and how. The guy was pretty aggressive in his sharing of his personal sexual conquests. Not a lot of us said much to him about it. A majority of us just nodded and said “yeah” whenever he spoke.

Not only that, but he was speaking loudly about it, to the point where I was personally becoming uncomfortable. But since I did not know the guy personally, I decided to let it go in one ear and out the other.

Quite clearly from the tales that he told, he had no respect for women at all. It was all something that he was proud to boast about gaining for himself. This guy truly had “Man of the Year” written all over him. But by the time he finished talking about it all, he then went into this somber mood and started to ask the questions of life and wondered why it had been six years since he had a steady girlfriend.

Umm, really?

Within a couple of hours of hanging out, the same man who was spewing his “love stats” with anyone within ear shot noticed an attractive girl that had walked in by herself. He got up and went to the bar and ordered her a drink. Then he sat back down with the rest of us and just kind of stared at her while the waitress was bringing her a drink.

He admitted that he had never seen her before and wanted to know who she was. I watched as the woman smiled at him, giving a nod of appreciation towards him. Then she began to go about her own business.

It pissed him off. Perhaps she just wasn’t interested in him. Maybe she was only there to satisfy her hunger. But he didn’t recognize any of these as possibilities. Only that she had disrespected him.

Eventually, he would order her another drink.

Finally, the woman looked in his direction and smiled. She got up from her table and came over to thank him personally for the drinks. The rest of the group watched in silence. My friend who was sitting next to me whispered that he wished he had popcorn. It would’ve been a little fitting to have available for what was about to happen.

 

After the proverbial name introductions and mini-background stories of where each of them came from and what they do, this new guy in the group had the testicular fortitude to literally ask this strange and lovely woman, “So, are you beautiful all of the time or is this your night off?”

The person sitting to the left and to the right of him immediately shoved themselves away from the table as far as they could scoot their chairs and as fast as they could do it. They were right in doing so because the new guy ended up wearing that second drink he bought her.

She immediately walked out of the restaurant without paying her bill. The new guy just sat there in shock as the cold liquid absorbed through his clothes and on to his body, giving him chills.

Then he called her a “bitch”. And a few other names as well.

He carried on and on about how disrespectful it was of her to throw that drink on him. But the rest of us sitting there with him could not fathom his reasoning of why he would think that way, when we were the ones trying to figure out why he did not realize that it was he that disrespected her!

I guess what I do not understand is how people think that they can be rude and disrespectful towards another person and expect to advance in the relationship. What is it about men that makes them think that they can act like pure animals and expect a woman to want to be around them?

When you meet someone for the first time and you want to get to know them better, you do not act like an idiot. Because the person you are trying to get to know will see this and think that you ARE one, instead of just acting like one. I’ve never been so disrespectful towards women (or anyone for that matter) in all of my life.

Like the saying goes, “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” I heard that from my parents all of the time growing up. By the time I was out of high school I understood what they were saying.

I don’t refer to a woman as a “bitch” or a “whore”. Not even in anger. I don’t even go that far to be so disrespectful when I am referring to an old relationship or a past lover. Regardless of how the relationship might have ended. I do not see the point or merit of it.

Heck, I won’t even use profanity in front of a woman, unless they’ve used it first. And by that time, I would really have to get to know them before I would dare use such language. At least in general. I know that I have slipped a couple of times with others but I survived because they didn’t think anything of it. But seriously using such demeaning terms towards someone as complex as is the opposite sex does not mean any real sense to me. That’s just my opinion.

I know that every person is different. Some treat others with kindness, the others just do not have a mouth filter. I am the person who treats others with respect because I want to be respected in return.

But there are those who don’t. And those are the kinds of men who make socializing with women so difficult for me. Chances are before I have met any woman, they have had some kind of bad experience with disrespecting jerks, and it lays fresh on their mind as I began to talk to them. I end up having to struggle with showing that I’m not “that guy”. I am not “just another slimeball.”

And I am gathering that it is because I choose to behave in a civilized manner when it comes to talking with women, that I am always being called “sweet” or “charming”. And I get that a lot. Hey, I don’t get it. I’m just me!!

Men (and women) who do not know how to actually behave in public, probably shouldn’t be in public. But its difficult to manage that because we are all different.

I on the other hand, will remain who I am. I will treat women with kindness and respect as they deserve. And if that gives me some sort of label to the members of the feminine world then so be it.

The whole point of social interaction is to get to know a person better. So it does not make sense to me to go out there on the first try and act stupid because there’s probably not going to be another chance to get to know someone after that. Especially if I am genuinely interested in that person. I commonly use the phrase “One, and done.” And I hate that.

Why limit myself to only one chance on making an impression and talking with someone while trying to get to know them personally? I strive for that second, third, fourth, fifth time. That next opportunity to talk to someone I am interested in. I am not interested in playing Beat the Clock. I would much rather move towards endless possibilities.

One thing is for sure, your reputation does get spread around. The guy that wore the drink, we’ve not seen him since that night. I’ve been asked before by other associates of that woman who dumped the drink, why I was hanging around with such a moron. I was just simply there and I explain that to them. They’ve literally come off the streets to ask me what my problem was. But after I explained that I was just part of the audience, they back off.

Clearly, this guy’s reptutation is in the mud now. But he did it to himself.

I do not know how my own reptutation stands with women. Outside of what I just mentioned about being called “sweet” and “charming”. But whatever it is, I hope that it is optimistic.