“I have noticed that it’s easy to find things to complain about but training my thoughts to be grateful even when things aren’t going my way takes effort and faith. Sometimes conflict is inspiring. I think it helps us in some ways… IF we don’t let it drive us crazy or crush us.” ~ Jessica Trapp
You know what? After having a brief conversation with her today and hearing her opinion on it, I agree with her. It is so simple to slip down into the clutches of being negative and live in it when things in life are not going our way.
Human nature has a way to draw us towards the negativity like a magnet. And what is even worse, is the fact that others around us are also drawn into our negativity. So what does that prove? That you are very capable of dragging other people down with you when you don’t need to be doing it at all.
Life is full of surprises. Some great, some not so great. Our minds are not trained to focus on the wonderful things but rather we find this wonky comfort in swimming in our own filth. And then the more the merrier. Why? Because now you don’t feel so alone. All eyes on you!
What is it about being sad that makes us just wanna scream at the world, only to hear our own voices and to sit in hope that someone will come and rescue us? Or if they are unable to rescue us… then you have their attention and you think that gives you the master opportunity to spread it all over the place and eventually pulling people down into your sadness.
There are some people in the world that have experiences that are none other than horribly negative. Their minds are trained that since their life is the pits, then that is the way that they must live. Miserable and sad. It is all a part of conditioning of the mind. These are the kinds of people that will NEVER be happy in life. No matter what happens to them, their minds are controlled to automatically find the worst parts of it and believe that is the core reason as to why things are happening.
But for those of us who have experienced happiness and joy before, there is hope. There is not a single person on this planet living today that has gone through life 100% totally happy. Everyone experiences the bad as well as the good. So then, what are you going to do about it when the bad comes in your life?
I have seen so many times where people are going through bad days and they just go on and on and on about how bad it is. What happens? Their friends and colleagues come crawling from the dark spaces to run over to them to offer whatever they can: A shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, hugs and kisses even.
And I am not saying that these people are bad for offering that extra support and friendliness towards those who are down. But its those who are in a constant state of negativity that cause the problem.
Even I get down once in a while. I’m single and lonely, VERY lonely. I haven’t even had a hug or a kiss that was not a greeting or a farewell gesture in over two years. But nobody hears about it. (Well… until just now because you just read about it.) But my point is that even though I do think about how it stinks to be lonely, I don’t go crying about it in front of other people ALL OF THE TIME! And so I focus on those things that have been able to keep me happy these past few months.
You tell me that your dog ran away, and that you are sad. Well, I am genuinely sorry to hear that your dog is gone. However, why don’t you go and do something about it? Go look for your dog. Or if you cannot find your dog, get a new one.
You just cannot allow your negative emotions drive you insane. It is very difficult and challenging, but a person must learn to condition their minds to focus more on the positive and less on the negative. As far as any social setting is concerned, who wants to be around someone who is so down and negative all of the time? I certainly do not know of anyone like that.
If we were able to concentrate on the things that help make us happy, then we are more likely to share in those moments with others, and that too is the same type of influence that we have on another person. You come to them positively, they react positively. You come to them full of negativity, their response will be negative as well.
There’s only so much that I personally can do for others. I will listen to them of course. I will offer advice some times too. But believe in me when I say, “After a while, it gets really old. And I just don’t wanna deal with it any more.”
Yes sure, you’ll get those people who “wanna help”. You’ll capture their attention. But it won’t last. People are more accepting of an attitude that is happy and healthy than an attitude of sadness and bitterness. They’ll stick around longer.
So instead of focusing on the bad, think about what goodness you have in your heart and in your life. Aim towards fixing what is wrong and keep a better attitude in general. Your true friends will come around more, instead of when you “cry wolf”. And they will be more likely to want to stay.
Try and then try harder to condition yourself and your mind to a different way of thinking. Your mental health will thank you in the end.
Dambreaker 