Posts Tagged ‘merit’

“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”~Mark Twain
After taking what seemed to have been the longest shower in world history, I emerged from the bathroom and descended into my bedroom to rummage through my closet so that I could find something to wear.
The personal attendant who was hired by the current home health company shouting for me to “come back” because she was not finished.
When at last she was finished with her job, I returned to find something suitable to wear. After taking up another world’s record of time to figure that out, the attendant came at me with a long red bottle, ready for action.
If anyone is counting, it was a bottle of cologne by Perry Ellis.
She pumped that stuff all over the place. It was quite heavy and it would have been an overstated comment to say that it was “too much”.
Needless to say that everything that was selected to wear, was probably too much as well. I had no plans of going anywhere, and here I was in was designer clothes with really big names that were given to me at some point in time. The cologne being no acception as it was given to me as well. I think that the personal attendant merely was playing “dress up”.
Anyways, when I was out and about on the property, I ran by the person who had given me the cologne in the first place. He immediately indentified the scent that I was more or less half-bathed in. So then he would talk about how he needed to “hook me up” with some other things, and I asked him why he felt that way. And this is the whole point of this blog post, now that I’ve dragged out a long story. 
I was all ears as I waited for a speech upon the soapbox. But his speech was short. Far shorter than I thought. “Because you deserve it”.
It had struck me because I had heard the same thing from a neighbor when she and I were discussing the fact that whenever a large donation of clothing is given to the apartment complex, that when she receives the shipment… she always goes through it to find men’s clothes that would fit me. And this is how I have ended up with the really nice designer clothing that I have today. Not because I can afford it, but because someone donated it and she recognized the value of them and immediately set them aside for me before distributing the rest into the community room for the rest of the residents to go through as they wish.
When I asked her a few days ago why she did things that way, she said the same exact words but only with more force and intention in her vocal tones. And then quickly realizing what she had done and tried to mask her “oops” with a bit of giggling and nervous laughter.
But in my mind, that had been two people believing the same exact thoughts.
I’m not quite sure what I have done or not done to “deserve it”. I just know that these two think so. So I have actual options when it comes to colognes and my wardrobe has rapidly grown. However, I personally think that the wardrobe increase comes from the fact that everyone here knew that I returned back here by the skin of my teeth after narrowly losing all belongings and life.
All the clothes that I had with me when I left my ex-girlfriend, could be stuffed in a backpack and one duffle bag. And the rest of my belongings were crammed back inside one more bag, and that’s all I had.
Sometimes we receive things, whether it be food, clothing, money, or anything really… and it’s not because we actually shown any merit for it. And of course, when we have shown merit we still receive our rewards.
With each and every time that I have received something from someone, I have always thanked them. It was a very good lesson that my step-mother taught me a long time ago. To say “thank you” for all that you have received. Whether its a written note or a verbal acknowledgement of gratitude, I have always done my best to do just that, and in a quick and timely manner.
I still cannot figure out why some believe that I deserve it all. But I suppose that sometimes, it is just better to acknowledge the blessings that have been given to me and be thankful. For whatever reason, it is the beliefs of these people that I have merit. And even though I cannot figure it out exactly, doesn’t mean that I should be rude to not accept their good will and kindness.
What I can say about it is that they wouldn’t have done it if they didn’t care. And quite obviously they do care. Whenever someone receives a gift such as these, its because someone cares. And so when you end up in these kinds of situations and you cannot figure out what you have done in order to receive whatever gift that has been given to you, at least think of that. Someone cares about you. And quite honestly, there probably isn’t any real reason, other than that.


If this post doesn’t cause any kind of reaction out of you by the time you finish reading it, then its time for the family to pull your plug.

There’s a lot of garbage out there in this world, and a huge majority of it resides on the Internet. True, we all come from different cultures, faiths, beliefs, and morals- but the fact remains that there are some really creepy bastards out there!

I’m talking about Facebook, of course. The continually evolving social networking website. We all have it, we all take part in it, and we all use it for one reason or another.

Personally though, I have been receiving a lot of “Friend Requests” lately. Quite honestly, all of them have been denied. I find it rather strange and still at the same time amusing that even though I have “35 friends mutually in common” and “12 interests in common” with the person who has sent the request, that I don’t know the person at all!

Who are you people? And what is it that you want? I have noticed that when I have sent my own various friend requests, that there is a space to write a note. I commonly do so now, so that the person to which I am sending the request understands who I am and why I am asking for the request. Not just letting it go on its own that I have half the neighborhood in common with them.

I’m not saying that I am totally innocent of this, but what I am saying is that I no longer leave an empty request. That person is going to know why I am sending a request, and can also factor in the mutuality in their decision as to whether or not they accept it.

There are a lot of low-life punks out there. You take a risk in adding someone that you do not know from Adam.

Generally, our Friends List is generated by several key groups of people:

Family & Relatives

Close Friends



and other Colleagues

Outside of that, the rest of the List is made up of people whom we have similar interests with.

There’s nothing wrong with making new friends. Not in my book! I enjoy getting to know other people and learning about what their lives are like. Especially if there is something that connects us in mutuality. Some people though, are just not that social. And they choose not to have fourty-thousand people on their Friends List, just because someone sent them a request. Some do it, because by them socializing with others that they are able to maintain a business relationship and possibly profit from it. I understand that as well.

But when I receive a friend request from some person, who mutually likes “brown hair and blue eyes”, and has 24 people mutually in common and those 24 people have brown hair and blue eyes and nothing else to offer? There’s a big freakin’ problem!!

These are the people that society needs to take notes about. Basically, all they want to do is have you add them to your Friends List, and then they are able to go rummaging through your photos and then sift through your own list of Friends and try to add them, so that they have MORE photos to go through and save to their own hard drives of people with “brown hair and blue eyes”. Quite selfish! And I will add- dangerous.

I’m not going to add this person because I associate with 24 mutual people.

I have said to people time and time again, that these are the kinds of people that make it so difficult for me to obtain and establish any kind of social interaction or relationship with others. These “trolls” are offending people to the extreme and they usually get away with it. So then those who have been burned have their guard up and so when I come along, I’m met with resistance and I have to deal with someone not being so open to the thought of establishing and maintaning a relationship with them.

Sadly, it is usually the males who are acting with rot against females. And so when I am trying to either maintain or establish, I fail because some jerk abused them in some way.

I believe that in time, those who are at least going to entertain the thought, will eventually see that I am showing my worth having around as a friend or colleague and therefore the merit will be the saving factor. If not, I’m deleted/blocked and I never hear from them again. And honestly? Its their loss, not mine.

I have been deleted/blocked before. Many times! It sucks too. But there’s nothing much I can do about it. They’ve obviously were not seeing anything worth redeeming. Again, their loss!

I’m not trying to be the super hero here. I couldn’t be one, even if I tried or wanted to. Its not up to me to try and save someone from whom I think has nothing but personal and selfish plans. Its up to them to make their own choice, whether or not I warn them. And if I do, its up to them whether or not they actually heed to my words.

The male/female relationship is difficult enough as it is. Especially those male/female relationships that are just there platonically. It just doesn’t help to have people making things far worse than they already are.

So its something to really consider, I think. Last summer, I actually removed and deleted nearly two hundred people from my own Friends List. A majority of them were there through association. They were removed because either they did not associate with me, or they were not able to communicate in a common language and just sat there, looking pretty. I realized “I don’t need this!”. So if they had not had any kind of true personal bond, or had communicated with me in the past three months at that point, they were gone.

Everybody is on Facebook for their own reason. They just make their own choices in how much they decide to use what is available to them. I just hope that they use a greater judgement when they decide to seek out people to add to their Friends List. And use a greater restraint for those times when others are out seeking them.

Be safe, people.