Posts Tagged ‘narcissism’

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“I’ve done nudity. I’m an exhibitionist. It doesn’t matter.”~John Turturro

Some seriously binding lessons were learned today. But I am still processing them as we speak. Therefore when the time comes, I’ll share. But for now, I am more compelled to share some lessons that are good for all of us. Some will be able to relate, others will probably be able to understand.

So let’s get started. A review:

Facebook is a den that is full of exhibitionists and voyeurs.

The Internet is full of bad people. The Internet is also full of good people. Decent people. And of course, its also full of those who are in between. Those who seek the attention of others through their narcissistic ways of operating on Facebook.

The painful part comes in where people are (for lack of a better term) innocent bystanders of this constant nagging and negative behavior.

One person takes a cruise around the world and posts every little step they make whether it be through words or through uploading photographs. Another person decides to update their profile every hour on the hour. All for what?

Attention.

So it becomes a bit hurtful and painful for OTHERS to witness this kind of thing. Basically the person boasting their “good times in life” appears to be doing just that. Bragging and boasting. fb

Therefore those people who are now having to sift through relentless posts are grumpy, irritable, and downright pissed off at the person doing the posting.

Its almost the situation of being able to see the forest through the trees. The person doing the posting most likely isn’t doing it on purpose. They aren’t rubbing anyone’s nose in anything specifically. But for those who are able to see the forest…. it most certainly feels like it.

So then, is it what it seems?

Depends on how you look at it. Allow me to show you the other side of the coinmatters

As I stated at the beginning of this blog post, Facebook is a “treasure trove” of people who are more concerned about sharing and spreading their lives in every infinite detail with everyone that will listen. Right, wrong, or indifferent.

Nobody is actually forcing you to look at 400 different posts and photographs that were uploaded in under two hours. You actually do have the ability to scroll by them if you do not want to look, or if you do not like what is being posted.

You have the power NOT to sign into your Facebook account if enough people are making you so angry with their actions and words. Narcissism or not, you do NOT have to fall into their webs and read what they have to say, comment on their posts, or even look at them.

If Facebook is causing you so much stress, then why bother signing in when you already know cognitively that it is a huge source of your being uncomfortable and feeling stressed out by what others do or say????

I personally do not believe that social networks ever got things right. These kinds of people who sign up and get an account and just post everything in their lives for the sake of earning attention….. they are always going to flock to these things.  1000802_10151655049749166_1850011859_n

And if you choose to use them, remember that you have all the power in the world. You have the power to ignore narcissistic behavior. You have the power to ignore those who are just placing their lives on exhibit. And you also have the power to either do or do not operate in the same manner as they do. You have control over what YOU post and upload to social networking sites. Nobody else has that power.

Take back the control in your lives and do not allow the selfish behavior of others on Facebook rule your attitude. Don’t let them make their rules become your rules.

Right, wrong, or indifferent these people are going to post what they will. And as a bonus, like I have always said– They make their own choices, make their own beds. Let THEM lie in it and don’t follow them in.

Take back your sanity. Learn. Live.

“Whoever loves becomes humble. Those who love have, so to speak, pawned a part of their narcissism.”~Sigmund Freud

Just when I found the day that I believed there would be a change in my habits of socializing over the Internet, mainly regarding social networking sites, I found myself in a gold mine of absolute blog post fodder.

I think I changed my mind after watching the hilarious antics of a narcissist.

This woman was so intense to gain people’s attention on Facebook that others began to notice the pattern and completely shut her off.

She would begin to “roller post”. And trust me, it was A LOT! So many different posts saying the same thing over and over again. Usually, it had something to do with some pain she was experiencing. Or maybe just a bad day. It didn’t matter though, whatever it was, she was posting on her own Facebook profile. So she waited for someone to communicate with her and let her know “it was going to be okay”.

And so when she was not able to reach them that way, she would turn up the heat and contact people in other ways. She did this for the sake of having other people’s attention on her. This was every day life for her.

When nobody was showing her attention, she would go to other people’s profiles on Facebook and begin activity on them. Just looking for a comment or a response or something. When that person fell for it, she let them have it. Suddenly, they found themselves in a situation where she would go on and on and on about her own life and how it was terrible and never really give a chance for the other person to respond, or even talk at all.

Yes, even I had fallen victim to it. But twice and no more. I learned quicker than the others.

What was fun to watch was when someone would confront her about her behavior. Naturally, her walls would go up and she would get defensive. Her response would always be in her defense. Yet when she would see that her excuses were not holding water, she would stop… reflect … and then begin the process of apologizing profusely.

I use the scenario in the past tense because this afternoon I found that this woman threw a major tantrum because she was assuming that someone’s comment was cryptically all about her. She tossed me away from Facebook and moved on. Well, I personally am not going to cry any tears over it.

Still though, her mind of thinking that whatever any one had said on Facebook, male or female, friend or colleague, or someone she barely knew, it was always about her secretly.

So today, she took offense again to someone’s comment. She was just absolutely 100% sure it was about her without having said her name…. and now its “Au revoir!!!”. No skin off of my elbows about it.

Nobody that I have spoken to today who knows her mutually as I do has been impressed. In fact, she’s only closed the door on so many contacts and relationships with her poor attitude and terrible decisions. So whenever she decides to come back, nothing probably will have changed for her. She’ll start over. The humoring question is “how many people will still be around for her resurrection back to Facebook?”.

I do my best not to get so emotionally outrageous whenever I post something. I don’t always succeed, but I am working on it.

Narcissism truly is foul. Some say it should be criminal.

For now though, I’ll stick around a little bit longer on Facebook, just to find something to blog about that I find funny or ridiculous.