Non Thoughtful Nincompoop

“Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”~Erma Bombeck

Now the entire world is done talking about the Mayans, we press on closer and closer to Christmas Day. It will be here before we know it!

With that said, today was the Christmas party for the complex that I live at. I must say that today is probably the most memorable party yet.

It was the first time that I had ever eaten chocolate covered potato chips. It was also the first time that I had cream cheese in soy sauce and sesame seeds.

However it was the gift exchange that basically takes the plate of Christmas cookies that you intend on leaving out on Christmas Eve, and throws them all into the sink before shoving them down the garbage disposal.

The gift exchange is not an activity that participated by everyone who attends. But a large number of people do. The idea is that you give a gift before receiving one. Plain and simple. And there’s even a cap of $10 for reach gift. No gifts to be purchased more than that.

So then today after some interesting snack foods and some unusual “caroling” if you will, the gift exchange began.

Each person taking their time to open things before the next person got up to make their selection for a gift.

The rest of this story is something that I couldn’t make up even if I tried:

It wasn’t enough to be greedy this past Wednesday as it was their monthly acts of greed during Food Pantry distribution, but now we have the desperate to do anything to take part in the gift exchange.

The neighbor sitting next to me was called up to pick a gift and when she sat down and opened it up, she found a woman’s wallet inside.

ONE USED WOMAN’S WALLET. Complete with wear & tear.

Now I am given to understand that there is either a tradition or superstition that if you are giving a wallet as a gift, that you leave some small amount of cash inside of it. I do not know if that is for luck or just the beginnings of actually having the purpose of a wallet.

This worn out wallet had no cash in it. But instead, was a photograph of someone’s brother in it. That someone being another neighbor.

The gifter literally just thought that they would empty out a wallet and throw it in a bag, and that would be sufficient enough to participate in the ritual of receiving something different and new in return.

So the person who received the wallet took the photograph over to the person and gave it back. Then the person was humiliated, NOT for the fact that she had been busted by someone who knows her well or by someone who is smart enough to realize that this is not a new gift, but rather the fact that her identity was revealed because she left that photograph inside the used wallet.

How lame, lazy, and cheap must one be? If the limit on a gift is $10 then why couldn’t that person have gone over to the corner store and just purchased some scratch off lottery tickets? Even if it was just one for $1.

And now I am understanding that some way, some how, that gifter miraculously has walked away from this party by receiving two gifts. That one, I am still scratching my head about.

People are strange.

Elderly Infidelity

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45817406/ns/today-today_people/t/man-divorcing-wife-years-over-affair-s/

A 99 year old Italian man is seeking divorce from his 96 year old wife, after 77 years of marriage. I could not believe the story when I read it!

After finding letters from a lover that was written to his wife over 50 years ago, the husband suspected an affair. The wife ultimately admitted to the affair- which happened in the 1940’s!!!

Understandably angry, the husband is now filing for divorce.

Whiskey-tango-foxtrot, over??

I get that he is angry. I get that he was betrayed by the woman he married. I get that he is hurt and his aging heart might be broken and what not. But 77 years together?? What in the world was their marriage like one year ago, ten years ago???

I don’t get this move. I think that they are both freakin’ lucky that when he found out the truth that he did not suffer cardiac arrest. Or worse.

What in the world are the two of them going to do now? And how do the split up everything? Who’s insurance gets to pay for the nursing home? Who’s retirement gets to pay for medical bills? It’s all so confusing.

And from reading the above article, what kind of is fascinating to me is that they have one great-great-grandchild. That’s a lot of greats!! The family lineage is strong and the family tree has many branches.

I wonder what this Italian family is going to do for holidays, birthdays, and other special events in 2012?

Insanity!!

So now this 99 year old man will be single again. The only thing that I can do is wish him well as he jumps back into the dating pool. But I really believe that for his age group, it’s pretty damned shallow!!

Good luck. But I don’t think e-Harmony, OKCupid, and other dating websites have a “70 and older” category for their members. It’s going to suck for him. And not in a good way either.

And the poor wife. Cheating on him so very long ago. People make very stupid decisions. And I guess that she is feeling somewhat relieved that she no longer has to carry this secret with her any longer, now that she admitted to her husband that she did have the affair.

I’m not sure as to why the husband cannot forgive her. MY GUESS is that the lover is probably no longer living. But, I don’t know that for sure.

77 years of matrimony, gone in one day.

Hello Guiness Book of World’s Stupidest Things That People Do? Yes, I’d like to submit an entry for your next publication.

 

 

The $102 Pack of Cigarettes

Last year, the only son of an elderly neighbor of mine was pounding on my front door relentlessly late at night at the most ridiculous of hours.

I knew who it was, and I knew what he had wanted. This 16 year old son was wanting me to go to the corner store and buy him a pack of cigarettes.

After realizing that he just wasn’t going to go away, he said that he had the money in his pocket and I told him to prove it to me.

He dug deep into his pockets and pulled out two fists full of loose change. Including a collection of at least eight Walking Liberty Half Dollars and other assorted quarters and nickels.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was he absolutely serious about handing over these old coins? All of them were minted in around the years of the World War II era. The majority of them were from 1944. He had one that was from 1941, and another from 1946.

It was ridiculous. I asked him if he knew what he was doing and if he knew how much these old coins were worth. He said he didn’t know and didn’t care. He had recently gone to the corner store himself to buy something else, but the store clerk refused to accept them. So he was trying to get rid of them.

So, I was no idiot. This was the one time that I went ahead and did this for him. Besides, the rest of the change I needed so that I could do some laundry to have clean clothes. I took all of his change and kept it to myself and paid for it out of my own pocket. The transaction was complete and we never spoke of it again. I hid those half dollars like it was the Holy Grail itself.

Time went on, his father (my neighbor) passed away. And he moved away to live with some guardians. Up until two days ago where he came knocking on my door, his skateboard in hand. He came in and sat down and talked his face off, complaining about his social life and how terrible things had become since he lost his father. It truly is a sad situation for him.

And then he brings up the conversation about his massive half dollar collection. Apparently, he went to some coin and silver shop and traded in what he had left over. He told me the story about how he had received about $150 for his coins. And he was really getting excited as he continued to tell his tale.

Then… it hit. The real, deep-down reason as to why he was here visiting with me. Because of the fact that he got so much money for those silver coins AND that he had blown all that money in one day… he wanted those coins back.

Umm, NO. It was part of a transaction.

So I told him, “Do you have a pack of cigarettes because that’s what YOU bought with those coins?”. Obviously, he wasn’t going to have any!! So I turned him away empty handed.

I knew the value of those coins were far more than just fifty cents. And he received his smokes. So those coins now belonged to me. But he kept insisting until I just told him that I didn’t have them any more.

Out the front door, he stormed off. He said that he would be back later to see if I had put my hands on those coins again since “I stored them at the house of my parents who live two states away.”

This afternoon, I too went to the same coin and silver store as he and traded in all the coins that I found in my safe place. With the loose quarters and nickels that I had and then used for laundry, added to what I received from the silver store for selling the coins, that pack of Marlboro Lights 100’s was worth a grand total of  $102.68!!!

Now clearly he did not understand the value. And he should have thought things through. But at his young age, all he was doing was focusing on what he wanted at that exact time and moment. So let it be a lesson to him. Although he’ll probably never learn because he’ll never know. I sure hope he smoked those things SLOWLY.. but I doubt that he did.

Also let it be a lesson to those who read this. There are reasons why people collect old coins. This would be one of the reasons.

And now I will be able to do laundry for at least the next six months.

 

Don’t Mess With The Elderly!

The following story is true. No details have been changed. Names are not changed to protect the innocent nor the guilty. What follows may shock you, disgust you, and quite possibly change your perception on what you thought before.

I will first start off by setting up the story by telling you that at the apartment complex in which I live, is a lovely place. I have been told by so many people who have visited here that its scenary is totally breathtaking and serene. As for myself, I enjoy living in this place.

Only the physically disabled, retired, and elderly can apply. And since I am one of the physically disabled, I qualify to live here. I have grown to know my neighbors in a delightful sense of companionship and have spent many days and weeks including myself with them in their activities which happens to be on the calendar of events.

With that said, there is one day in which I fear. Food Pantry Day. It happens once a month for three hours on one day, and a full hour on another day. The bulk of the residents come to the community room to receive their food items on the day in which time is of the majority. That’s when I receive my items as well.

But it has been something of a disaster in recent months. It was only about two years ago that I had decided to volunteer to help in any way that I could, in order to keep chaos from happening. Clearly, things have gotten better but its definitely not a case that we’re out of the woods yet. To take a quote from the movie, “The Antichrist”…. “chaos reigns.”

Our usual system had a break down, probably about four months ago it was changed. It had been getting better since I decided to try and help. It became my task to call names from a list in which each resident would sign their name and their apartment number in order to keep a more accurate count in how many people were participating in receiving items from the Food Pantry.

Food Pantry items are actually picked up from a central food bank. The community donates food items and it gets distributed to those in need. I’m not 100% sure on how our complex qualifies to receive these items, but my money is on the fact that we are a non-profit. These donated food items comes to us, and they are distributed to the residents here, for free!

Sounds pretty good, right?

I will say personally that the Food Pantry has come in very useful for me when funds are low during the month. Having that extra collection of food to get me through whatever I need to before I am able to have some money to go to the store again. I cannot complain about the Food Pantry at all. But this is just my rambling. So I digress.

It has been turmoil these last couple of years. When that sign-up sheet gets put out into the community room at 12:30 PM each day of distribution, all hell breaks loose. I am not kidding. These people have pushed, shoved, stepped on (or over) other individuals in order to secure their place on that list as close to #1 as possible, even if that means someone with less mobility and speed gets shoved aside. I have personally witnessed a man getting up from his chair across the room, stepping over chairs and tables to get to the list. Brushing aside people in his path.

Again, let me remind you that this is donated food items from the community. This is nothing like steak, shrimp, glorious food items of luxury. We’re talking bread, canned goods, meat products at times, soups, pasta, and various other food suppliments. There is a nice display of desserts commonly on the table for their selection though. Mainly old doughnuts and other pastries.

They have overcome their own senses and thrown away all shame in order to be able to put their names on that list at the very top so that they are able to receive first choice at what is being offered to them.

I had been the one responsible to put that sign-up sheet on the table for a short time. Whenever I would do that, I would find myself literally surrounded by at least eight people at a time, on all sides of me to the point where I couldn’t even move my wheelchair to get out of the way. I would have to basically cry for help in order for someone to get out of the way so that I could move.

Suggesting that everyone step into an orderly fashion and form a line falls upon deaf ears (whether they are actually hearing impaired or not.) This system also has failed because one person would write the names of several people down before anyone else has a chance to grab a pen. So the first person in line would obviously be #1, but they are also writing down the names of their close friends and neighbors on lines #2-6. Thus, making the person who is actually second in line to be #7.

For sure, this has others in an outcry and they are suddenly calling for a lynching of those guilty. But don’t feel sorry for those who are being left out. Some of them had a strategy of getting into the community room as soon as it opened its doors in the morning and actually sat down and waited for that list to be brought out. So then comes the cries of “I was here first. I was here before this person so I should be before them!”. 

Umm no. That’s not how it works. Whenever your name is  written down on that list, that is your placement and that’s when you will be called. And another thing… if your name is called by me, and you are not in the room or can be found immediately? Your name goes to the bottom of the list. This is has been the structure of the rules and will remain as such.

Not fair? Well, “you gotta be present to win” so to speak.

This system was replaced four months ago. The new system was that each person would write down their apartment number (not their name) on a slip of paper and put it into the basket. Their number is drawn and whenever they are drawn, that is who is first in line, and the next and the next and so on.

It was tricky the first month as people were walking into the community room expecting one procedure and ended up with another. We all had to get used to it. By the second month, it began to show signs of weakness. The same group of people who were just so desperate to be the top of the list, were harassing me to draw their names first as I was the one who had volunteered to help out in the first place. I’ve stood my ground and given no favoritism. Clearly those who are greedy have not been too pleased with it or me. I just ignore them whenever they try to sweet talk me into drawing their number first.

Today though, was a very bold act of avarice and self-importance as I was drawing people’s names as they came out. Those who commonly harass me to draw their numbers first were right on cue. I had called a number out and had handed the slip of paper in so that there would be an accurate  count of who was there and who was not. Suddenly, behind me was someone totally different. Someone who had been bugging me since we had started at 1:04 PM. The four extra minutes was in fact, intentional.

The selfish party had claimed that the person’s name who had been called had given them permission to switch places but clearly they had not.

It was cruel act of selfishness as I understood that while I was handing in the slip of paper, the trading request took place. Yet the person who I had just called didn’t stand a chance in public in front of that many other residents to deny that request. Later I would find out that absolutely NO permission was given at all.

I do not understand the whole entire process of this. As hungry as we might be at this point in the month and eager to receive food items, to go through this is NOT a life or death struggle. Nobody here, including the complex staff will ever allow one of its residents to go hungry. Especially since so much food is being donated and brought in. Even if its something as simple as a few cans of green beans. They will not starve.

All I can honestly say about it all is DON’T MESS WITH THE ELDERLY! You may think they are quiet and frail and kind and sweet and loving. Some of them are. But to underestimate them is definitely foolish.