Saying Those Words: The Final Day (And Results Of)

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” ~ A.A. Milne,  author of Winnie-the-Pooh

The moment is gone. She is gone. And now it is Friday evening with the knowledge that I will never see our social services coordinator again.

Another person will come and take her place. Just like the people before her.

The residence, MY NEIGHBORS, altogether collected $295 for her. I think they tossed it into a money order and put it in one of two greeting cards that were set aside for her.

This apparently is the most money that was ever collected for any member of SGC staff who was leaving their position here. And yes, this is saying a lot. Many of us were waiting for her to go to lunch. This morning as I was having my morning coffee, Mrs. Irwin mentioned that she was going to have lunch with two co-workers from which the agency that hired her.

It was going to be a 90 minute lunch. What were they going to do, fire her?? It was her last day of work here.

90 minutes was all that was needed in order to set up the room, put out a spread of finger foods and snacks, decorate a little with flowers and balloons and then sit and wait for her to return back to work in the dark.

She actually arrived a little bit after 1:00 PM and some of the neighbors were getting ants in their pants. But eventually she arrived back to work from lunch and the lights went back off, the door shut, and about HALF of all total residents who live here….. sat in total and complete silence.

The apartment manager was behind it all. And so was Mr. Irwin, her husband. He would show up later and join us for a brief time.

It worked. She admitted that she had convinced herself that she only THOUGHT something was coming, but couldn’t quite say for sure what exactly it would be. All of those neighbors who would have been the perfect candidates for letting the cat out of the bag, either by accident or on purpose, never gave her a clue that we were planning a gathering in the afternoon.

She admitted rather quickly that she became misty-eyed. But she did not actually break down into tears. She was given a plant from the collective group. She also received a nice bouquet of flowers that I know of and the money.

I personally wrote her a poem. Telling her that it is hard to say farewell but that we here on the property would remember her and miss her.

Her response?

“That’s impressive.”

Then someone just jumped on in and bragged that poetry is what I do best. I don’t know why they jumped in like that. Mrs. Irwin knew that I wrote poetry.

The event came to an end and Mrs. Irwin made a point to visit those who were unable to get out of their homes to say goodbye to them.

I told her personally that I would be back and I came home to take off the black suit I had put on. I did see her going along the sidewalk, passing by my front door, but I never chased her down.

I went over to her office and she was still gone. Or so I thought.

She was in the apartment manager’s office behind closed doors with all three members of staff together.

I kept getting looks from our maintenance man. A person who doesn’t have a very high score for resident approval ratings. He never gave me any indication of whether or not they were having a private conversation or just chit-chatting with the door closed. He just kept looking at me like he was privileged and I was an outsider.

It was pissing me off because he kept looking through the window in the door, but would not acknowledge anything about me being there. So I left.

Then a little bit later, no more than fifteen minutes I had received a telephone call that a home health nurse was coming to visit. So I scattered to go back to the office area to do what I had to do and say those words that I hate saying and be able to find closure to the situation.

But when I got into the building, she was gone.

I felt the tears building up. But the wind that was powerfully blowing into my face prevented them from falling down my face. I was asked later by the visiting nurse if I cried but I told her that I almost did but could not.

I never got to say goodbye to her. I did get the chance to give her the poem that I wrote and to take a photograph with her. But I did not get that opportunity to say farewell to her. 

And as you probably can already tell, I am so frustrated and disappointed and actually BLAMING the maintenance man for this missed opportunity. Usually when a door is closed, that means privacy. But he could have given me some sort of indication. And he didn’t. He could have, what a selfish man.

I’m pissed.

I ran outside and looked at the parking space that she had been parking in for the past eight or nine months and it was empty.

She was gone. The apartment manager even told me that she was gone and it was final.

Some will argue that since I didn’t actually tell her goodbye that I don’t have to and that she will come back. I do believe that anything is possible. But for her to come back to visit or whatever is less than favorable. At least for now. Maybe down the road.  

I begin the weekend, angered and hurt and disappointed.

So farewell Mrs. Irwin. You’ve done so much more than what you realize for me and for the rest of us. I am going to miss you.

 

 

 

Full Spectrum: Part I- Celebrating A Life

Dr. & Mrs. Froth

“Don’t tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.”~ George S. Patton

I was going to call this post “Surprise,  Surprise” but in the next blog that is upcoming, you’ll understand why I have taken this and broken it down into two parts.

However, I did something that was totally not all that characteristic of what I do but I was totally glad that I did it. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOO WORTH IT!!!!!

Dr. and Mrs. Froth are expecting a son in January 2014.

This past weekend, was a shindig AND a hooten-nanny all in one. But this was more for Dr. Froth than it was for Mrs. Froth. A little different, hey… a party is a party, right?!?

So in my usual communication ritual with Mrs. Froth, I had begun to feel absolutely worthless based on the fact that I didn’t think that I could pull it off.

But then something that I’m not quite sure that I should be calling a miracle happened.

I was GIVEN the money to go ahead and attend this party. So then I got with the hostess and the so-called coordinator and said that I was coming. But it was agreed upon that my attendance at this party would be kept a secret until I just simply showed up.

That’s exactly what I did. For a guest list that did RSVP close to 30 people in one house for a party, besides myself there were only three others that knew I was coming. Everyone else took in the surprise ……. including Dr. & Mrs. Froth.

When I arrived, the looks on the Froth faces were absolutely perfect, not to mention priceless. I’ve never seen a woman seven months pregnant move so fast with such gusto and excitement in order to greet me.

Everyone who knew who I was, which was a majority, was totally blown away that I was there.

I was able to be with my friends and celebrate this expected child of Froth. I believe that the child is referred to as the Spawn.

Food, great company, lots of laughs, a few tears when it was over and I was heading home. But damned well worth the secrecy.

I’ve never been good with those kinds of secrets. I’ve always broken down and told someone which ruined the surprise in some fashion. But this time, I was able to pull it off and probably earn myself Friend of the Year Award. Yep, it was that important to Dr. & Mrs. Froth that I was there to share with them. Even though they had no clue that I was coming and several times of being told that they wished I could be there.

Be careful for what you wish for! Just saying……

A little different as we were not out all hours of the night as we normally would be if I was in town for a show. I was able to reach the hotel and get something they call sleep. Or rest.

I woke up early still, so I watched more re-runs of “Married With Children” just like I had three weeks ago when I was there last. Then I hopped on the bus and almost the entire trip had to listen to some stupid group of people argue over the Twilight movie franchise and its characters and what they can and cannot do …………. sexually!!!

Really? First world problems are whether or not vampires can bang each other????

Thankfully I had the sense to bring along the new album of SIX MINUTE CENTURY with me and drown those bastards out!

Yet the party was so much fun. I got to go into the “forbidden” rehearsal room of WELL OF SOULS while they were practicing and listen for a bit. Apparently wives/girlfriends aren’t even allowed in there, and some how I got through. But I think I am beginning to stamp my VIP pass a little too hard because I did receive the stink eye from a lot of people.

I still had fun surprising everyone there at the party. That was truly a blast to have been able to accomplish it. Even though I was so tempted to tease The family of Froth with text messages while I was waiting to be picked up to go to the party.

And you know what? I’d do it again all over again if I had to!!!

So when that time comes, I’ll be back again soon to see this wonderment of child.

And even TODAY, the 11th of November, is their wedding anniversary. So HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!

 

Distracted Or Easily Amused?

“I don’t want my body to be a distraction from my talent or my brain.”~ Shania Twain

 

If yesterday’s post was to have caused any worry or concern on the part of the reader, then this blog post will probably cause them to either roll their eyes or giggle. And maybe, just maybe, if the reader is freaky enough… they just might do both.

 

Am I in a better mood? You betcha!

 

Clearly yesterday was probably the worst day since my discharge from the hospital. I had done so much activity that it was overwhelming and I did too much that caused me some very serious and great pain. Some of which I am still recovering from today. Which is getting better for those who wanna know.

 

But today, I had gone to a birthday celebration for one of the neighbors. She is 90 years old. That’s a lot of candles on a cake!

 

This is someone that I do not normally speak to on a daily basis. We’ve had our run-ins before and disagree quite frequently. But this was a time to put all of that aside and be happy for her.

 

I had actually arrived about ten minutes early than what the posted time was for the gathering and noticed that no other neighbor of mine was present. To be honest, it was a bit disappointing as I was sure that there would be people there. How quickly did my mind turn to the negative when I thought, “Well, she has been known to piss off people so it shouldn’t be a surprise that nobody is here.” But really? C’mon! This is a monumental birthday celebration we are talking about.

 

So a little bit later I would realize that a few of the other neighbors were there and it was a decent group of people. The weather today is rainy so it may have had something to do with it. But more people showed up later on.

 

But as I was the early bird, I went into the party room and immediately locked eyes with one tremendous piece of eye candy. I nearly fell out of my wheelchair, this girl was so cute.

 

She came right up to me and welcomed me and told me what was going on. You know, tea and coffee over here, birthday cake over there and what not. Luckily, I didn’t go into my usual “speechless” state of mind. I instead communicated with her.

 

However I had to quickly excuse myself and leave the room and go and talk with someone else. A “guy talk” if you will before I was able to compose myself and re-join the party. I mean, I had to talk this out before I just made my first entrance and then blow it. You know what they say about first impressions.

 

As I returned to the party, I was greeted by ANOTHER girl who was equally as attractive as the first. I thought to myself, “What in the world is going on and how are these girls related to my celebrating neighbor?”. It has to be the gene pool.. it just has to be.

 

I was offered coffee, and then later a piece of birthday cake was presented to me. These girls were so cute and attractive that I just couldn’t deny it, or them. If they would have offered me a plate of cow manure, I would have taken it ever so graciously.

 

After composing myself again, I noticed that all of my neighbors were sitting at one particular table by themselves. I found it so strange that even during a birthday party that they would feel that they would have to cut away from mingling with other party guests, whether or not they knew who they were. I mean, I didn’t know ANY of the friends and family members who were there, and I mingled and talked. Why not them as well??

 

Then, I decided that it was time to stop staring and start sharing. Or at the very least try.

 

I went up to one of the cuties and began a conversation with them. I would find out that both of them were my neighbor’s great-granddaughters!

 

Holy smokes!! That many lines of family and generation connected these two hotties with my sometimes sweet and sour neighbor. Wow!!!!

 

I complimented them on the jewelry that they wore. One of which, had a diamond ring. Perhaps white gold or just plain silver? I don’t know, I’m not that savvy with jewelry knowledge.

 

I told her, “You’re too young to be married!”. She laughed a bit and said, “No. I’m not married, this is a promise ring that I was given. But I am to receive my engagement ring at any day now.”

 

I was floored. A promise ring. Does anyone else remember this? First, the lady would receive a promise ring, then the engagement ring and finally the wedding ring. You just don’t see that any more. Although it is something that I would personally do if I was to be in that position in a relationship with a woman.

 

Anyways, I was curious and I could not stop myself. I again mentioned that she was far too young to be married. If I had to have guessed, I would have said that she looked between 17-21 years of age.

 

She told me that she was 24 years old. Most certainly old enough to be married, or at least engaged. In which she is.

 

The flirting had to stop, at least with that one. But the other one didn’t look too much older than that either. I never found out how old the other cutie was. But if this first one was 24, then I would have to guess 24-26 years old.

 

The other did NOT have a diamond on her finger, but she had this really beautiful costume ring on in the shape of a blooming rose. It took up all of her finger and some of the next. It was in fact… really pretty.

 

I did not have success speaking with the other one though. She just never would sit still long enough for me to sit beside her and talk with her. But golly, I am guessing that she was with her immediately family and if the woman sitting to her left was her mother, then… umm.. yeah. “Hello, Seattle!”.

 

But my time had run out on me as I had to be home to wait for the daily nurse visit. What a buzzkill. So I returned home, experiencing a new kind of discomfort and pain. And I don’t think that I have to go into what I am talking about, you know??

 

Just when I thought I knew everything there was to know about post-hospital stays and the pain and recovery, I end up with a “newfound misery”. And then again, if yesterday’s blog post was any indication of the misery and hell that I was feeling, today one would have no other choice but to admit “it is better”. I just don’t know if this was quite the distraction from all that I have been going through these past few days or if its going to be something to “add on”.

 

Good grief!!!

 

Wet And Wild

“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”~ Anthony Robbins

Last night my apartment complex celebrated National Night Out. This is usually done in the month of August but because it is so hot at that time, we had changed it to October where the heat wouldn’t be so bad. There was a theme, which was something that we decided to do with the party. It was The Gift of Water. It is something that we haven’t had in a very long time in the form of rainfall. So I guess we were supposed to “appreciate” having water? I’m not sure.

The menu was even just as wet as the theme: Fish, cole slaw, hush puppies. And what to drink? But of course, bottled water.

A gathering of neighbors and friends outside in the warm but pleasant weather to socialize and visit. But I noticed that during the set up for the party that they had placed water guns on the tables. I wondered why they had suggested to bring a rain coat. But who in the world has a rain coat around here??

There they were though. These really cheap water guns that do not hold a lot of water and do not shoot water very well either. One would have to learn how each gun worked the best. Which angle to hold it, and how to shoot it to make it spray the water. I mean, we are talking C-H-E-A-P in every sense of the word!

I found mine working the best to aim it upward a little and then let the water come down on the target.

And still, the question in my mind was: Water guns for the elderly? Is this a good idea???? It would be interesting to see who was going to go nuts with it and who was going to complain.

Everybody was watching everybody else. And that was the problem. Those who participated in the water fights, were not being watched. As soon as you started to watch someone else who had a water gun, you got it from someone else who you were not looking for at the time. People really needed eyes in the back of their head.

I didn’t get into it right away, but I did take off with two different water guns. One of which didn’t work at all. But one I learned how to hold it and fire quickly.

After the fish dinner, they played several games of BINGO. In that, I did not participate. I disappeared back home and then came back with a loaded water gun and crept amongst the crowds, shooting unsuspecting people as they were focused on their “intense game”.

The apartment manager and the social worker got involved in these water games as well. There was a grandchild that was running around with one, and apparently he got involved with the apartment manager in a huge battle that everyone thought was cute.

But as soon as the apartment manager would be in my area, I FIRED!!!

One thing that I noticed amongst the other neighbors that got involved in the water fun, is that they did not fire unless fired upon. So once I shot at them is when they would fire back. Nobody seemed to want to be the first one to shoot. So I guess that I was the one that was the aggressor. And that was fine.

I would not fire when they were looking straight at me. I always waited until they were distracted and occupied with something else unrelated. But no matter what, whenever I got someone they aimed to get me back. And most of them did.

I even got the social worker as she was just standing there eating a piece of watermelon. She screamed and then looked around for another water gun. She found one and started to shoot it, but it was the same gun that I had found that would not shoot anything so she was stuck with nothing and I kept soaking her.

Then of course the “threats” coming from the apartment manager and the social worker that they will get me back. We’ll see about that I guess. When it was all said and done for the night, the apartment manager tried to get the song, “Feliz Navidad” stuck in my head. But it didn’t work. (The original version, not the Céline Dion cover.)

I still wonder who it is going to be that is going to complain about the childish behavior of everyone else because of the water guns. I wonder who is going to be that stick in the mud and whine that it is immature. Of course its immature, but it was there for us to let loose and have some fun.

You didn’t want to shoot your friends, because they would fire back thinking it was an act of betrayal. And you didn’t want to shoot those whom you have conflict with, because that would only make matters worse. Especially if they don’t have a sense of humor. Soo…… who do you fire a water gun at??

Damn the torpedoes!! I shot them all!!!

I would later come back home to reload but I would mix water with whiskey. And I made sure that the water was nice and warm. Then I went back out to war. One thought that was shooting them with piss. But I have a little more dignity and sense than that. They just freaked out because it was so warm. Something that they were not expecting.

But it was definitely a good time, even if there are those who are going to complain about it in the near future.

Water fights are uncommon in October. But who’s to say when you can and cannot have them? And you can bet your last dollar that I’ve kept my water gun. I will be making a few surprises with it in the coming weeks. I just got to find a way to clean the whiskey out of it.