Attack Of The Drama Llama

“The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.”~ Eminem

Just about that time when you are about to put everything on cruise control for a few days… that stupid llama finds you in the bedroom window, staring at you while you sleep. And its wanting inside the house.

And then by no fault of anyone, it finds its way inside. Suddenly your everything slowly turns into a nightmare from which you just wished that you would awake.

That’s when you realize that any and all attempts to play the hero and be Superman are going to just fall apart in the process. So you let nature run its course and hold on tight, hoping that it ends soon and the rays of sunshine appear once more sooner than later.

HELP!!!

That’s the way things have been recently, but they seemed to have turned around.

Saturday, the 13th…. NANCY SILVA PROJECT is coming to town and will be playing a show at Dirty Dog Bar. They are playing a show that is a homecoming event for a band called ONE-EYED DOLL who has been touring these last few weeks. The 13th will be the last day of the tour for ONE-EYED DOLL and NANCY SILVA PROJECT is on the bill to help support.

I don’t think that I have to tell you how important this show is for me. I think that throughout previous blog posts where I have talked about Nancy Silva, one can get a sense of where I am coming from with what I am thinking and feeling.

In other words: It doesn’t take a nuclear physicist to figure it out.

Six exact months I have waited for this opportunity. 185 days to today, and then add one more day because I will not see anyone until the 13th… so 186. More than 4,440 hours of waiting will pay off.

As of nearly a week ago though, the drama llama came for a visit and hasn’t left yet.

My sister hit me up to borrow money, which was basically ALL of my spending money for the evening of the show. Now there will be no merchandise bought if there is anything that I want.  No drinks. NOTHING.

Then I busted my only pair of eye glasses on Sunday afternoon. Went into a panic because of the fact that I my vision is horrible and only am near sighted. So unless these bands plan to play while sitting on my lap, this is going to be a disaster if I cannot see.

I had a temporary fix which involved tiny amounts of Super Glue and LARGE amounts of Scotch tape, rigging the frames together to make for one-sided foggy experiences.

I went to the vision center inside Wal-Mart as was suggested. They weren’t any help at all. They didn’t want to talk to me, they didn’t want to help me, they didn’t even want to refer me to a place where I could get a pair of broken glasses fixed. These people were terrible. Then I went go look for GODZILLA on DVD, but Wal-Mart didn’t have it. I was one week too early for them to have it in stock. So ridiculous! Nothing was going right.

Finally, all signs pointed to a frame fixer who claimed that to fix the glasses would be anywhere from $5 all the way up to $60. I was charged $40. Another forty bucks out of my pocket.

But at least I got the glasses fixed, and still taking away from any hope or chance of using that money to do a little self-shopping for band merchandise. I sure would love to add to my collection of NSP t-shirts or other pieces of memorabilia if there is anything to be had.

Am I going to have any money for this show at all?? Will I even have money to get a taxi ride home?

Will I have to skip out on seeing ONE-EYED DOLL for the first time in order to catch a bus home???? The possibilities are endless that its excruciating.

The only thing that I can say at this point is that I am stressed out. I’ve been counting this date for over three months. I remember when I told Nancy Silva that the show was ten weeks (70 days) away. Both of us kind of got a little excited.

Now its just a little more than 24 hours away. The only thing that is certain is that I got my eye glasses fixed. And that I will go to the show. The rest remains a damned mystery.

First world problems and the struggle becomes real. Hooray for me.

Proof Positive

“It’s definitely a struggle to prove yourself just as a good human being.”~Tina Yothers 

There simply is nothing that you can do about the idiots of the universe. The one and only thing that we as human beings can do is take care of ourselves.

Earlier, I had posted a comment on Facebook, to which caused the person to send me a nasty message in my personal e-mail. It came in such recording timing that I think it should be added as an Olympic sport in 2016.

The comment was actually a simple, but genuine compliment. But here they were, barreling down my throat about it because they were sick and tired of OTHER people’s behaviors and maliciousness.

Did I deserve it? I don’t think so. But I got it anyways.

This one woman simply had compared my compliment to another person’s compliment and basically did whatever she could to de-value the sincerity.

I was unaware of the similar comment that was made by someone prior to mine. And by the time I had seen it, it was far too late.

The previous comment that had been made by someone else was almost mirrored to what I had said. With the exception of one sentence that they made the impulsive and selfish remark that they wanted to do things to her that just shouldn’t be told in children’s stories. Much less, shouldn’t even exist on the Internet.

Her personal message basically stated that she was sick and tired of being told by ugly men about what they wanted to do with her. And they don’t even know her.

Yes, she is single. Yes, she is physically attractive. Yes, she hears a lot of sexual advances that are uncouth, but from other men.

And as for myself, I am constantly finding myself in an uphill battle with women in regarding relationships with them that always seems to be this tango of trouble. All because of what someone ELSE has said or done.

I could be greatly offended by this woman’s message and I would have every right in the world to just hit REPLY and give her the proverbial bitch-slapping of her life for attacking me for what I would see as “no good reason”. But I have not, and I will not.

Why you may ask?

My comment (which would eventually be deleted among all of the rest of them) was made with pure and good intention. There was nothing about it that implied that I was flirting or hitting on her or making sexual advances. These were done already by people who had commented before me.

Those who know me, know that I believe in the power of compliments without powdering it with bullshit.

And yes, I complain A LOT about how difficult it is to maintain certain relationships with people. Especially when others are acting like the royal douchebags that they are. As they say, “its a tough act to follow”.

The colossal asshat who started this mess, is someone that I prefer to avoid on the Internet. Sometimes I am successful, and other times not so much. I recognize that he has his own agenda and usually that doesn’t nothing to turn women on. I can see that, perhaps he cannot. And well, that’s just too bad.

But honestly, relationships in fact are difficult. And you must think to yourself and question whether or not the relationship is worth being in.

Could I have gone off on this woman? Of course. And no jury in the world would ever convict me for doing so. But instead, I have to remind myself of taking a different approach when I somehow justify the relationship is worth fighting for.

PROVE YOURSELF.

No matter how stupid or ugly or inconsiderate others are being, if you stay true to yourself and stick with it then eventually the fires will go out and you will still be standing. Those who have made fools of themselves will be nothing but smoke and dust.

Prove to the people that you find worth fighting for that you are NOT “all the same”. The same goes for women over their relationships with men. If you have the strength to take all of the shit that is poured upon you, then they soon will see that you are in fact someone genuine and not fake. They will come to realize in their own time that you ARE someone who has been in their corner the entire time, and without an personal selfish agenda. They will realize that you are true to them and they will see that you are someone that they would want to keep in their lives.

Naturally this woman got so pissed off and offended by these other comments that were made. She went off on me personally for no good or apparent reason. But I think that by dusting my shoulders off from her vomited mass, that it will pass and things can carry on as they had.

I really feel sorry for these people that I feel that I have to avoid. I know for a fact that I have in recent times proven to be a valued and trusted person to others. And that all had boiled down to the fact that I had the courage and strength to stand up as well as stand out in a good and positive light.

Good things do come to those who wait! The rewards of being able to handle the blitzkrieg of personal drama and every day life will always be greater in the end.

Now I will go and see if I cannot find what is left of my head.

 

 

 

Patience Can Pay Off

“Some things just take longer than others. We are only as strong as our patience allows.”

 

Let’s face it, we don’t always get what we want but we will always get what we need and when that time comes for us to have it, then it will come. Yet not a lot of us on planet Earth have the patience or want to be patient.

 

It may be a new job or a new car or home, or it could even be the smaller things in life that we want, usually feel we deserve, and still we never seem to get it. And we usually don’t because we do not want to wait any more for it to just fall into our laps. We go out on our own and try to change fate, and then end up just screwing up our lives because we didn’t have the patience.

 

I spoke in length with a guy today, who is so desperate for many things to happen in his life that it literally destroys the inside of his body to the point of depression. I listened to him complain about how life sucks and he’s done fairly well so far and he just cannot seem to get ahead. But by getting ahead he meant that there were things missing in his life that he really wants so bad. More specifically, he talked about wanting to have a relationship with a woman. Something that would be long term.

 

The more he thought about it and talked about it, the faster he would speak. The faster he would speak, the more times he would get tongue-tied and the more he got tongue-tied the more frustrated he would become. He would stop, take a breath, but then he would apologize by saying, “If I had a girlfriend, this wouldn’t be happening to me.”

 

I didn’t say anything to him but I disagreed. The way he behaved caused me to believe that if he actually had a stable relationship with a woman and he got this excited, he’d be changing his pants every 30 minutes.

 

That actually is not an apology but rather him making excuses for himself. But nonetheless that is what he asserts himself to believe.

 

I told him that he couldn’t rush things like that in his life. And unfortunately my responses to him where nothing that he truly wanted to hear. So he was not really appreciating what I was telling him. And of course he questioned what authority that I have on the matter because I too, am single.

 

Finding love cannot be rushed. Heck, a large majority of us don’t even really know what love is. At least not the kind of love that we think we are looking for. Love is not little fat chubby kids in diapers and wings with an archery set strapped to their backs just waiting to hit you as their target. Love is not what television, movies, and media portray it to be either.

 

We hunt for this sociological ideal of love, believing that we know what to look for but in the end we may or may not have involved ourselves in a relationship by that point… but surely it was just as fleeting as the last sneezing fit you had from your last allergy attack. It was there, and now its gone.

 

In this world of technological advances of “quicker, faster, larger” we often make the mistake that the rest of the aspects of life should always be in tune with everything else. But again, I’m talking about technology. Not feelings and emotions for another person that is reciprocated back. After all, you COULD go out and build yourself a partner, but the lack of emotions that it would give you would definitely cause you to still feel lonely in the end. And seriously, not all of us has the money to go out and buy a robotic partner.

 

This guy knows what he wants (in a sense). His career goals are set and he is well on his way to reaching them. He is just lacking the human emotion and feeling of having someone to come home to every evening. Someone to share with him. Many of us can sympathize.

 

He told the horror stories of how he has in the past been “successful” in finding a girlfriend or two, but he was unable to maintain the relationship for one reason or another. He actually went out and tried to force the hands of fate to give him what he wanted. And he either kept losing or he would find someone but they were not quite what he was needing or not everything that he was interested in or looking for was found within these women, so the relationships always ended in a complete disaster.

 

I felt bad for him because he tried to force things to happen and they blew up in his face. It was truly a shame. It wasn’t like he was some arrogant man, other than the fact that he wanted a woman and wanted it RIGHT NOW!! Everything else about him seemed to serene and pleasant. Because he is not patient, he falls prey to his loneliness quite often and it buries him into a sea of depression where he just wants to give up on everything in the world, and I don’t think he should think like that. Yet, he doesn’t want to be told to “wait”.

 

Sometimes the hardest things in life to hear are commonly the right ones. Why?? Because deep down we already know that they are right. And our own thinking is totally wrong, and we just don’t want to admit it.

 

I am single as well. Trust me, I don’t like it either! I would much rather have someone to spend my days and nights with. I think that my personality as being a very social person also has something to do with it. Yet I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life and yes, it really does suck being alone!! But I can’t force myself against women to spend time with me, because they will only resent me and in the end they’ll disappear and once again I’ll be lonely all over.

 

So I put my trust in being patient. Even if I don’t like it and think that it sucks.

 

Unfortunately for this guy, he’s on a cycle of repeated disaster relationships because he’s not thinking about anything but “getting to be with someone”. Relationships take a lot more work than just finding someone mutually agreeing to be with you. I hope he does well and I do hope that he will some day realize that if he just is patient a little while longer, then his wishes just may come true.

 

Things such as these have their own time. They come when they are best for us. And a lot of times its not when we want them the most. But they do eventually arrive. And on the other hand, we have to make sure that we nuture those things that come to us, to make sure that they grow steadily with us so that we can cherish them for as long as we can, instead of just taking everything that comes our way for granted. Because if we do that, then we surely will lose.