Posts Tagged ‘planning’

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.”~ Hannah Moore

When I was a young child, I remember crying because my parents were leaving the house for the night and my siblings and I were in the house alone with a babysitter. My parents were going out to celebrate their wedding anniversary.

And then I remember finding out that my father had married my mother at the age of 26. From that point, I knew that I wanted to be married at that age too. But it didn’t happen. The goal that I had set for myself was a goal that was unrealistic because it was bound to change as I grew older. People still today make goals in their life that are unrealistic. And those are the ones that are bound for failure from the start.

The goals that we set often are unrealistic. For one reason or another. They are too high or too low, or not right at all. We all have dreams of what we want to do. We fantasize about what we’d want to be doing by a certain point. Not just a few of us- we ALL do it!! Some of us succeed while most of us fail. And its all in the process of deciding what we want and how we plan to make sure that we are able to reach that point.

Often goals are set too high. You don’t hear a lot about setting them too low, but it happens. But usually they are too high. And when we do set them too high, it no longer becomes something that is plausible, but rather we’ve aimed too far and we’ll never hit the bullseye and then it seems in the end that it has been an impossibility.

If our goals are set too high, the inevitable disaster will strike. And unfortunately, it becomes more than something that we bargained for in the first place. When are our goals are too high, and we’ve seem to come closer and closer to the end timing of that goal and we are nowhere near reaching it… we often find ourselves throwing away common sense as well as common courtesy. We begin to step on those around us and damage our personal relationships because in our minds, we find them to be obstacles in the way of us reaching those goals. The very sad part about it, is that we don’t realize that is what we are doing to our personal relationships with others- until it is too late.

The goals are unrealistic and we say “Damn the Torpedoes!”, in an all-out effort to prove to the world (and ourselves) that we are right and they are wrong. This begins the whole process of the damage that I just mentioned.

Depending on what we were doing and what we have done, there is a chance that those damaged relationships can become salvaged and mended together. The problem is that nobody is thinking about it as it bursts into flames while we sprinkle fuel all around us because our focus is on one thing and one thing only- REACH THE GOAL.

So then we don’t reach our goals. They never happen. Now what?? Well, usually a few things go on when we’ve realized that we have failed. Usually we go through a lot of different emotions. Mainly depression, stress, and anxiety. We are crushed because we didn’t make it and we become very sad. The stress levels begin to rise because we begin to internally beat ourselves up for what we have done (or in this case, have not done). And then we go and allow our flawed human nature to take over and we assign the blame on others when we should be looking in the mirror. Our anxiety levels as well as our stress goes through the roof when our goals are just so far out of reach and we’re running out of time.

By the time I was twenty years old, I still wasn’t married. Not that I thought I’d be married while in high school, but still there weren’t any even any prospects of marriage at that point. I had only six years left to make that goal that I made as a child. And I placed all of the blame on all of the women that I thought at the time, were the ideal person to make for me a wife. And when nothing happened with them, I blamed them. I blamed all of the women in the world for a lot of things. I destroyed relationships with females during high school because that’s all that I thought about. And when things were not going as planned, I made them worse and ultimately killing any chance of any kind of relationship- friend or more- with any of them. Which is partly why I no longer have any communication with them today.

I should have been looking at myself in the mirror and thought things over and realized that my goal was not going to be something that would be attained. Mainly because the goal was never really defined or planned. It just was “a goal”.

When we make our goals, we have to actually stop and think about whether or not these things are attainable. Most of us will have to admit defeat a lot of the times because the things that we want, probably just won’t ever happen. If we can work on separating what is attainable and what is just ‘a fantasy’, and acknowledge the two then I think we have a better chance of setting better goals for our lives.

If we don’t, then we are going to end up living a life that is miserable and full of depression. Our relationships will begin to fail, and our overall physical as well as our mental health will soon fade into those dark and creepy places that we never want to be in the first place.

I would love to travel to Utah, and all states westward. But I would also like to travel to Denmark, Germany, France, and Romania. There would be nothing wrong with making these a goal in life. Except for the fact that they would be unrealistic goals. Why?? Because I do not have the money, or the means to make them happen. I might be able to visit a few of the states but going to Europe is something that really isn’t something that is plausible at this time.

I needed to realize this, and because I had then I was able to breathe a little better. Sure it was sad, but life is not always going to give you what you want.

Instead, we all should strive for goals that are within our means. Goals that we are certain we can achieve. There is nothing wrong with setting goals, in fact it is a wonderful idea. Setting the wrong goals however, will always be a burden.

Just when I thought that mainstream society had released a few things out of its system to make room for the new & improved ways of lackluster social behavior, I yet again walk into reality that nothing has changed at all.

Needless to say that this post is totally laughable and probably isn’t even worth posting in the first place, but here it is anyway.

I was talking with someone this evening and we were discussing travel options for the summertime. We had come to an agreement of where we wanted to go, but there was no agreement on the fine details of how we were going to get there. More so, it was an argument over who would have which finanical responsibility.

What could have been an enjoyable trip to the West ended up severing the ties between two people. We were first going to fly, but then we decided it was going to be expensive for us. We then thought about taking the bus together, but that was decided against because that journey would take forever.

Then we decided we were going to drive it ourselves. Well, they were but still.

Then there was a disagreement on whether or not to get a rental car versus use their own personal vehicle. They wanted the rental, I said save the money and just spend it all on gas and what not.

After a while of arguing both sides, calmly and maturely, there still was no agreement. And as always is the case, since I am not the one who is doing the driving, I got put into a corner where it was either a rental or not going at all. This person was that rude and mean about it.

So fine then, whatever.

We did our research on rentals and couldn’t find one that was the best fit for us and what we were going to do. Eventually, we would find one for about $500 which would have been the total for the amount of time that we would have it.

The person literally had the courage to tell me that MY share of the rental fees would be about $300 on a  $500 rental. So I protested the unfairness of that proposal.

I tell ya, one would have thought that I insulted their mother.

A shouting match developed. I shouted back to defend myself. The only thing that was missing was the physical altercations to make it a replica scene from WWE.

So literally this person stomped away. I figured they needed to calm down as much as I did at that point. Perhaps after our heads were cool, we could figure this out. As childish as their exit was, I just let them go.

A few moments later, they proposed the exact same deal. No compromise, no nothing. And before I could scoff at their arrogance, I heard them say, “It’s my way or the highway!”.


I could not believe my own ears. I was just in so much denial that I even heard that, that I had to ask them, “What are you … eight??”.

I guess my own mind wants to believe that things have changed in the 21st Century. Hoping that some things would have been lost in the breeze. I know that the new generation will always come up with something even more retarded and mundane.

Relationships, whether romantic or platonic, never really are going to be 50/50. But with that said, it should never be 100/0.

There should be a compromise. But maybe I am too stupid or wishful that there will be.

Anyways, my own response that I gave back to them was “If its ‘your way or the highway’, here’s $20 and a map that I bought from Wal-Mart. Good luck!”.

I threw a twenty dollar bill at them and the map that I had mentioned and told them to get out the hell out.