Papal Profanity

“The language of excitement is at best picturesque merely. You must be calm before you can utter oracles.”~ Henry David Thoreau

So Pope Francis spoke at the Vatican today. But a little slip of the tongue due to a minor mishap caused him to really let loose the KRAKEN!!

The Kraken of all profane and dirty words that is.

Umm okay, you’ve seen it and heard it before. What is the big deal?

I know that he is kind of a big deal for a billion people on this planet, but he’s  still human. He was born of earthling parents, grew up in the Church and what not. And still, he remained human. 

Now he is the leader of the largest group of Christians in the world.

And he dropped the F bomb in Italian. Big deal. You’ve probably said it at least 50 times already since you woke up. And he says it once on video, and its big news.

Calm down people.

 

Foul Mouthed Trick-Or-Treaters

“I love profanity, but I think if it’s used too much, it just sounds a little trashy. I think it’s more effective when it’s dropped intelligently. I like intelligent profanity.”~ Katie Aselton

Never in my life did I think I would come across this situation. But I did. And it was less than an hour from when this blog post was started to be composed.

I live in a gated community. Which means anyone going door to door is a solicitor, and that’s just a big no-no.

This would also mean that neighborhood children who are out on Halloween night are not permitted to come on to the property to start knocking on doors.

Halloween is for all intents and purposes, closed down and forbidden on this property.

However, it is NOT against the rules here that residents and neighbors who have grandchildren and the like, that families can’t come visit their grandparents to show off their Halloween costumes. What IS against the rules is going door to door, begging for candy.

So then about an hour ago, as I sat here in the dark, trying to get myself into the spirit by watching old horror films on television and newer horror films on the Internet, was a knock on the door.

Not really believing that anyone would dare attempt to solicit sweets out of me, I opened the door to find myself in a big ole steamy pile of WRONGNESS.

There stood a tiny Red Power Ranger, begging for candy.

Of which I have absolutely NONE.

And so in a scramble to find something decent to give, because I had no candy. I grabbed a fistful of quarters and threw them into this beggar’s bag.

The clinking of quarters caught this little one’s attention and he reached into the bag to see what I put in. And found a bunch of change.

At this point was when HELL broke loose. 

This bratty punk then said the following (and I quote verbatum) “Not money, its supposed to be candy, motherfucker!”

INCREDIBLE!! Who or where gave him this kind of knowledge of language??

I became unglued.

I went outside, feeling quite confident that I could have overpowered him and slam dunked him into a tree or a dumpster or something. But then an adult came along.

I asked if the child belonged to them and they said that the child was in fact theirs.

I told them about the conversation that JUST happened moments ago. Only to find the parent or guardian or whomever it was, lay into the child like a wicked stepmother.

Where are the children finding the ways to grow a pair to be like that and talk like that? Adults are bad enough as it is, and I’m tired of dealing with nasty and mean adults.

But now, children????

People Watching

“KISS HER, YOU IDIOT! KISS HER!!!”

“Have character, don’t be one.”~ Sue Ann Cordell

Before I get to the story telling of seeing Echo Temple playing at the House of Blues in Houston, there’s another story I am going to share.

Echo Temple/Houston fans are just simply going to have to wait.

Traveling on the bus has obviously turned into an experience. It is rather easy to get into the habit of people watching. Some are amusing, others make you reflect, and even more people just make you sick to your stomach.

As I awaited silently and patiently for the bus to arrive to take me to Houston, a female caught my eye. But I didn’t approach her, didn’t try to speak to her, didn’t do anything.

She was standing in the shade from a distance. It was cold outside and standing up against the wall didn’t seem like the way to stay warm from the blustery winds.

Soon after I was direct to move to another location so the bus could get by me and get turned around.

This caused me to have to be nearer to this female that I had been watching.

Wouldn’t you know it, FDS struck again!!

Ugh!

I would find out moments later that it was a good  thing that I had not attempted to strike up a conversation with her as some lanky guy came running up to her and handed her a drink. He obviously went away and purchased drinks. One of them or both of them was about to embark on their own journey. And the girl pecked the guy on the lips. Most likely as her way to say thank you.

Aww…

But then she snuggled up to him, shivered a little bit. And the guy just stood there with his arms at his side. Then she cuddled in closer to his chest, starting kissing on his neck and cheek. She attempted many times to kiss his lips again but he kept moving his head around. He wasn’t even looking at her but rather over the top of her head as he was considerably taller than she was.

Maybe its just the fact that I’ve been in a drought lately. But I just couldn’t understand why this guy was avoiding her affections. HOLD HER FOR CRYIN’ OUTLOUD AT LEAST!!! If you don’t want to get involved heavily in some random public display of affection, that’s one thing. But he was not even acknowledging her.

And it made me wonder: How the heck do men get women when they treat them like that?

So then I was loaded on the bus first.

This “bus station” of sorts is located in a large parking lot between some office buildings and a large apartment complex. And as I looked up into the sky… up on the third floor of the apartment complex, I saw a door open to the back patio area. A man walked out 100% NAKED with a joint and smoked it. He stood there – no clothes, not even a blanket- and smoked and toked to his heart’s content.

If this man had decided to urinate over the edge then he would have nailed the bus passengers on the ground below. But he didn’t do that. He smoked marijuana.

Some people.

And then this afternoon on the way back home, I was sitting out in the sun as it was about ten to fifteen degrees COOLER in Houston than it is at home. This man pulls up in the parking lot of the Shell Station where the bus comes to pick up people in that part of Houston. Another peculiar female jumped out of the vehicle and ran for the inside of the store with her bag over her shoulder. I didn’t get a good look and I was hoping that it wouldn’t be FDS again.

It wasn’t.

As minutes ticked away, more and more people who were to board the bus in Houston came crawling out of the cracks. This same girl came out of the store and some gentleman with was right behind her.

I didn’t look at them. But they were standing behind me. And I could just hear this female nagging the man over and over to leave her alone.

I would hear her telling the guy to just go home. To get away from her. To leave her alone. The man was responding but I couldn’t understand any word that he said. She then attempted another option, threatening the man that she would NOT get on the bus if he didn’t leave. And was making these empty promises that she would just walk home.

Don’t people understand that you can be heard in public when you are dealing with an issue like that?!? I guess she just didn’t care.

She got on the bus though. And she was cute. But after hearing all that bitching and nagging, I could just imagine the weirdness that could’ve been had I approached her.

She jumped into one of the seats that was facing backwards. And I had no other choice but to attempt to look out the window for most of the trip because looking straight ahead of me I would only find her staring at me back. And then the awkward quick-look-away would happen. Both for her and I.

I had made the determination within the first hour of the journey home that this female was probably not even in her mid-20’s yet or not yet out of college and still in school.

In a cramped and crowded bus, she would attempt to sleep off some of the long trip. But her head and body kept slumping to the left. Eventually she nodded off so hard that she crashed into the person sitting in the next seat. From the view point that I had, with all of those crushed together bus seats in front of me, when she fell against the other person beside her, it looked like she was attempting to go down on her.

They all had a laugh together. I’m sure she wasn’t feeling it though. So embarrassing that had to be!

She got off the bus quickly. And then she stood there. When I finally got off the bus she came up to me and had a distance of about six feet from me and said “Fuck you, you fuckin’ fuck!” and walked away with her middle finger extended in the air as she pranced away.

Clearly, she’s got issues. And now she’s running loose in the same city that I live in. Should I be concerned? I don’t know!!

She probably felt uncomfortable and insecure knowing that I had been looking at her. Other than that, I offer up no possible theory for her behavior.

Just keep in mind guys: Cute doesn’t always mean a keeper!!!!!

 

Swear Jar

“When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.” ~ Mark Twain

When was the last time you heard about this idea?  

One of my neighbors has a literal swear jar.

Sad but true.

We’ve all seen the entertainment of someone who walks into a house where there’s a swear jar. They attempt to curb their profanity but then find that they just cannot help themselves. So they dump in all the money that they have and just let the waves of swearing come pouring out of their mouths.

Its pretty funny to watch. But have you ever actually seen a swear jar?

I recall a time when I was in grade school that the teacher actually had a swear jar in. Although the money wasn’t piling up to the top. We were responsible for our own bad language. Writing it down how many times we had said something that was considered inappropriate in class and putting it into the jar. Then the total amount would be added up and then the student would have to pay.

The thing of it was that the money collected was to help supplement a fund to pay for a field trip that was coming up. A field trip that I missed due to illness.

The teacher NEVER enforced. However the students were more than happy to enforce it upon others. When the class was not allowed to even use soft swear words, such as “dang” or “crap”, it surely made for an interesting time period. This kind of language is what I call PG-13 language, and it just wasn’t acceptable in class.

So fraudulent pieces of paper of students tattling on other students when those students weren’t even guilty of swearing.

My neighbor has a swear jar.

But she operates it differently.

The thing of it was that this neighbor gets super-duper offended with profanity and cussing. So much to the fact that she had publicly told people who had the urge to swear that she was going to charge them for each and every foul phrase that rushed out of their mouths. 

There was one big problem. She couldn’t enforce it at all. Her idea was never a good one as she did not have authority to correct other people’s language.

But what she COULD do was make the attempt to supervise people’s mouths who were inside of her own home.

We all have our own little house rules. And she then realized that she would be able to have a swear jar. What she didn’t factor was that she wouldn’t be able to enforce it. So basically, the only thing that she can do is scold you for anything that came out of your damned mouth that was considered freakin’ inappropriate.

OOPS!!

Anyway, how in the world do you enforce against another full grown adult that they must pay for the bad language? It just wasn’t working out.

She’s had to change how she does things.

Now instead of just charging people money, she enforces humiliation upon the person who just said something she didn’t like by telling them to apologize and she won’t allow the current conversation to go any further until said apology was issued by the offender.

Other people who break the no cussing rule have to give her a hug.

And if someone comes by and brings a friend with them, someone that she doesn’t know personally and THEY get foul? Then, that’s a flat cash charge of up to $2 per “fuck, shit, and bitch” that was uttered. Other lesser swear words are simply $1.

Rule of thumb in her home: If you couldn’t say it on television in the 1970’s then do not say it in her home. UNLESS you are quoting someone.

It is so easy to get around by using words like “fricking” and “dang” and other uses of PG-13 language.

I am not opposed to someone having a swear jar. If the money put into it was to go towards something like paying for a hobby or a vacation or even something that was noble. Having a swear jar to curb the mouths of people around you isn’t such an excellent idea. Those who want to curb the offensiveness of language will always have a long battle ahead of them. And they usually will not win. And you’re only kidding yourself if you believe that some way or some how you are about to become rich overnight be employing a swear jar. You can charge people all you want for them using what you consider bad language, but enforcing it is a totally different issue when you are faced up with grown adults.