Tears

“When a person cries and the first drops of tears comes from the RIGHT EYE, it’s HAPPINESS. But when the first roll is from the LEFT EYE, it’s PAIN.”~ Unknown

This caught my attention. Mainly because that everywhere I went to research on this, it kept saying that this was a psychological fact.

But there was nothing to base it on. NO documentation whatsoever.

It would however make for a great piece of trivia of the human emotion.

We all cry. Some in pain, some with joy. And sometimes for both. I just never had heard this before about whether or not the first drop of tears comes out of which eye that would express either joy or pain.

Here’s the biggest problem with that. When a person cries, they are not really all that concerned with where the tears are coming from. They don’t pay any attention to which eye the first tears have fallen. So the attempt to notice something like that is basically fruitless.

I think that the only way that could be observed is if someone ELSE was watching you cry. And let’s be honest: How many of us are quite willing to just cry in front of someone? I surely don’t know a lot of people.

It all falls back to the point that nobody can prove this to be true. And nobody can prove this to be false. There’s simply nothing out there that I have found to support or deny the claim of which eye the tear first falls from to express either happiness or pain.

Tears are tears. And a part of the human condition and emotion. 

Just like the old wives tale of an itchy palm. One palm means that money is coming to you and the other palm means that you will be having less money. But it gets lost in the fog as to which palm means what. Left or right???

My right palm was itching a week ago. A few days later, I received $200. It itched again on Thursday and today I received $20. But does the actually skin irritation to our hands actually have something meaningful to do with what befalls us? And as I am sure that Dr. Froth would inquire: What does it mean if your butt itches??

Is there a real connection to it? Is there a real link?  seriously doubt it.

So I welcome any and all medical or psychological documentation that would lead to facts that the first tears falling from either eye actually means something, whether happiness or joy.

 

Intruded And Insulted

“The psychology of a language which, in one way or another, is imposed upon one because of factors beyond one’s control, is very different from the psychology of a language which one accepts of one’s free will.”~ Edward Sapir

The other afternoon I was taking a bit of a nap. It didn’t last long as I heard someone knocking on the door. So when I got up to answer the door, a very tall man (probably about 6’4″/ 193 cm) began to introduce himself as well as intimidate with his size to push me back away from the door and find his way inside of my home.

He sat down and introduced himself as a psychologist and wanted to come by and say “hello” and allow himself to be used at my disposal for my needs. I stared at him blankly for a moment, trying to figure out how he got inside so fast and then just made himself at home like he did.

Then he mentioned that “a neighbor” was concerned about me, considering the pain and suffering I had this past January from doing what I had to do when I was assaulted. Allegedly, this neighbor was concerned about my mental health and safety and gave him a call to come by.

Well, as much as I appreciated the idea that the neighbor was thinking about me this really wasn’t anything that I had in mind on how to deal with the traumatic situation that I had gone through. Yes, perhaps a psychologist. But not one that just walks through my door and sits down and starts asking me a bunch of questions. And trust me, this gets worse and it shouldn’t have.

So I gave him all of the gruesome details about the assault. The way I had protected myself, the death, and what had happened. As I was talking about it, he began to sit on the edge of the couch as if he was watching some intense moment on television.

When I had finished he sat back and exhaled. He shook his head and with plenty of profanity, he expressed how rotten that this had happened to me and that people suck… really, really SUCK.

He said something along the lines of he was glad it was just the one time. But I informed him that I have been no stranger to assault in this area in the past few years. People wanting my wallet or whatever I had.

He was shocked to hear that there was a lot more to my past with crime than just the one time. He began to laugh and laugh and laugh. More profanity as he exclaimed with his excitement. At some point, he had to stop me from going through everything. And then his reaction and comment was totally and completely insulting in my humble opinion.

He looked me in the face and said, “Man! You are a really big shit magnet!!”. And then he continued to laugh and laugh.

Umm…

I understand that it is so wild that I have been targeted many times for people who were willing to commit criminal activities and intrude upon me, but to insult me like that was totally unprofessional, uncalled for, and rude.

So then he said that I should call him in a few weeks and he will come out again and we will come back and talk to me. This guy apparently does visits in people’s homes. And I think that could work to other people’s advantage that he would come to them. I just do not understand how he keeps his job by behaving like he does. Especially how he behaved in front of me. Almost like he was having a great time hearing the stories that I was telling him. Stories of crime and of course, pain.

What really sticks out in my mind, is the laughing. And the swearing in his thoughts that some how I am some kind of person that attracts these bad things that has happened to me in the past few years. Almost to say that it is all MY fault.

And he says he wants to help me through the process of dealing with it. Now, I am not quite sure on how he is going to do that when I am feeling smaller and smaller as he laughs at me.

Clearly this is not the best guy for the job. Not if I am going to be feeling little about things. Isn’t he supposed to empower me instead? And clearly I have a neighbor out there somewhere, of course I was not told who it was, but whomever it was: Thank you for the thought, but mind your own business!!

Ties, ties, everywhere there’s ties

I have been there for my friends for as long as I can remember. But now with the Internet and social networking sites, there’s the wide range of possibilities to meet new people and create even more friends and colleagues.

And with that goes the responsibility of having to put up with other people’s days when things are not going so well. Life isn’t always a peach, so when it is the pits- that becomes the true test of whether or not your friendship with that person is true and loyal.

Ever since my first days of being online, I’ve always been there for my friends and colleagues when they have been having it rough. I allowed them to vent, cry, cuss someone else out behind their backs, and do whatever it took to make sure that by the end of all of it, they felt better. I would even be so bold as to maybe offering help and advice at times when they asked for it.

I have fooled around with the notion that I have become some what of an online psychologist. I’m that shoulder to cry on, that ear that will listen. Clearly I say this jokingly as I am not a licensed psychologist.

I have sat through many long conversations online where I have been told that they were in tears, and just needed someone to listen. Yeah, I’m “that guy”. I could probably log in enough hours to have my own little corner of the world and sit by a table with a sign over my head that says, “5¢ please.”

As the years have gone by, the scenario changes. But I’m still that same guy that will stop whatever I am doing and listen to someone if they are speaking to me. Especially if they feel that they are in some kind of crisis or if they feel that they are just going to explode inside.

If any of you have ever watched Dr. Phil on television, then you know where I get the new catch phrase, “I wear the tie.” Yep, that’s me! I am the one that wears the tie. A few people realize this. They laugh and think its cute. But they also understand that I am actually going to be there for them. Most others do not. And this is what I am telling you. I am there for you, and I always will be there for you.

A few people have taken the opportunity to have me listen to them. Others, have not. There are times though that those who do not take that chance, I sometimes wished that they would. But its all a matter of personal choice. I’m never going to force someone to talk to me. Especially during stressful and difficult times.

I have been burned a few times. This is true. I have given my full attention in the past to people and all that they ever did was use me for their chance to just have themselves talk. They weren’t seeking any kind of personal relief from their woes, just personal satisfaction from the thought that someone is finally going to listen to them, and all they do is talk to hear themselves talk.

With the good, always will come the bad. That’s just life in a nutshell.

I received a text message this morning around 1:30 AM. Someone who I had earlier in the day given a text message to, and they were finally able to get around to answering me back. Their day was so bad that it got stressful and confusing as well as distracting and so therefore, that’s what happened. The response came, but it came late.

So I got out of bed and got online and had them tell me what was going on, and explain why it was so late for them to get back to me.

I took a very brutal beating for nearly an hour as they let their frustrations go. But in the end, I had them laughing. They left and I went back to bed. And that was that.

I was not in the direct line of fire from their frustration, but they were able to just get it off their chest. I was glad to have been there for support.

I take these things seriously. Because I know that I too, sometimes need a shoulder to cry on. Does the reciprocation happen as often as I deal with it? No. So what though?

I will literally get out of bed and talk with someone on the phone, online, or in person if they are in need. Doors have been open 24/7 for over 10 years now. And I don’t suppose that’s going to change in the future because that’s the friend that I am.

People have needs. No matter how shallow or great. Its up to the true test of courage as to whether or not you are able to take the good with the bad OR if you’re the kind of person that will only take the good and remove yourself from the bad, trying to avoid it. Just ask yourself: “Wouldn’t I want them to be there for you?”.

I’m not saying let them walk all over you either. You should know the difference between a cry on your shoulder and someone just out for attention. But a friend in need should have friends, indeed.