Dear Musicians: I’m On To You

Well then. I may be late for the party, but I find myself a way there. And that is the most important part of it, is finding yourself at the finish line no matter how long it has taken you to get there.

I may have been born at night, but it sure as hell was not last night.

Music is my life. It is in my soul. It has always been there, and it will forever remain.

And because of it, when I find myself surrounded by musicians in my social life, it is astounding to determine those who are fake and those who are real.

For those of you who are fairly new and for those who have foolishly forgotten by now… it is no secret that if I find something in music that I really like.. then I am 100% all for it to the point that I even promote it during my own time. I live it, breathe it, rinse and repeat.

I understand in the music business that there is a product that needs to be sold to the masses. It is a musician’s dream come true for their material to spread like wildfire, and perhaps even go viral for just a day.

The more the merrier as they say.

I am not against anyone in the business trying their best to do that and be successful at it. In fact, as I said… I will do all that I can to help make that happen if I can, if I am totally into it.

But I am on to you. I really am.

Today’s example goes international.

A band was brought to my attention from South America. And I had only heard ONE of their songs and I enjoyed it. So I did what any other human being would do, and started to follow the band on social media from top to bottom, left to right. And stuck it out with the band even though there was not much to offer in the way of merchandise. Plus coming from another continent I thought would be kind of tricky.

But the band was nice to talk about it. They gave several different options and offers that would include international shipping. And dummy-me, I took the bait. Not to say that I did not want what I paid for, but I had no idea of the shit storm that was soon to follow.

A storm that would turn me off of bands in general.

It took over two months to finally arrive from South America. And I wasn’t thrilled about it at all. But then again, it wasn’t like there was something I could do about it any way.

So from the beginning, the South American band wasn’t in a good light when it came to merchandise.

The second round came within a week of receiving my first shipment. In fact, I was asked if I wanted some other merchandise in that week BEFORE receiving that first shipment. And again…. dummy-me goes and buys more. Now I’ve spent more than $50 (including international shipping) on stuff that I bought, but haven’t received in hand.

Eventually the first shipment arrived. The second shipment came just as slow. About two to two and a half months after ordering so easily through PayPal.

Second shipment I was more content with than the first for whatever reason. And then just DAYS after receiving the second shipment, I was again given some particular “special offers” that wouldn’t last for very long.

Guess what? I fell for that sense of urgency. Shipment #3 took yet again TWO FRICKIN’ MONTHS. And yes, I was approached during that two month period with offers of something else.

I finally told this band, “I want a t-shirt and maybe the CD. And that’s all. Nothing more.”

To which I was given this rotten wrap-around about how t-shirts are so expensive and everything. And the blame went to shipping costs from South America. Whether or not that is entirely true, I do not know. I do not have a t-shirt yet.

But more and more and more and more options and offers kept coming. After three in a row, I really needed to stop and take a break. But the offers took no break. I began to feel like if I kept saying “NO” that they would stop altogether.

Needless to say, I am not a fan of shipments taking so freakin’ long. Nor am I enticed or interested in watching a “special concert” via the Internet and paying for it. If this band wants to perform for me, they can find a way to come to the United States of America and do it live in person. I mean after all, isn’t that the musician’s way of life? Isn’t that their ultimate dream?? Travel the world and spread their music to as many people as possible. Isn’t that the point of it all???? If not, it used to be at one point!!!

Here’s where it all fell apart for this South American band. Even though I was a huge fan of the one song that I found on YouTube, the live performances were an entirely different thing. And it was unsettling.

There was some teaser videos made for their performances online. Excerpts of performances from the past that were live. This band sounded awful. Absolutely horrible. And it was so full of cringe.

Some bands sound fine when they play live. Others (like this one) not so much. I understand that bands will not sound like a copied self from the studio. But if you can’t sound remotely close, there’s a big problem!!

Ever since, I have been wondering if I was going to be filled with regret to support what I could consider a “lost cause” in the end.

Just recently I saw that the band was posting photos of fans with their merchandise. To which one fan from the USA had like 30 signed photographs or prints. I exclaimed with a bit of envy of the person, and the band took that as an opportunity to jump me privately.

They were going to offer me various combinations of photographs/prints.

Three photos for $11.90.. international shipping included.

Then it went on from there:

Seven photos for $16.90
Ten for $20.90
Twenty for $27.90

Umm… it got worse from there. The original post was of 30 photos. Wanna know how much 30 of them would cost? $37.90

And the band chooses which 30 photos will be sent. Keep in mind they are not signed or autographed. As you can expect, they are leaving that up to the imagination that signing them would be extra.

However… if I wanted to be the one who selected the photographs, they were $5 each plus shipping. Suddenly, just because I want to choose… $37.90 turned into $150 PLUS shipping.

What in the hell??

They sold it as urgent. This time I did not fall for it. The moment that they realized I was not  going to buy anything, they stopped talking to me.

I went back to the person who had been contacting me all this time and I went back through every time that they had contacted me. I read over the contents of the conversation and suddenly realized that the evidence was right in front of me. This band never contacted me to say hello. They never contacted me to find out how my day was going. Every time they reached out, they were attempting to sell something.

All the times that I had attempted to initiate contact, was met up with silence and them ignoring my messages.

Let me repeat myself by saying that I fully understand that bands have something they want to sell. And that’s how their career works. But there has to be a level of reciprocity between musicians and their fans. At some type of level musicians must communicate with their fans. How else are they going to know what their fans want?

It is very clear that there is no reciprocity by the way of communication. Either you discuss buying some of their merchandise or purchasing the opportunity of watching them in their live streamed gigs…. or you don’t talk to them at all.

That is bullshit. I am on to you and every other band that has done me like that!!! I’ve received something from other countries. South America, step up your game or lose your career.The separation is soon coming.

Earning Extra Credit Points With Author Jodi Ambrose

“My philosophy of life: Wake up. Be happy. Hurt no one. Go to bed. Wake up. Repeat.”~ Jodi Ambrose

No this is not my personal way to kiss ass, this is extra credit. Doing above and beyond what was asked for.

Jodi Ambrose found this blog last May and she and I have been keeping in touch through one another’s blog ever since.

Not that long ago she gave an offer that I couldn’t refuse. It was her Tit for Tat offer.

So what did she want? The books that she has written about sex and intimacy, as well as one helluva enjoyable cookbook, were to be sent to me in the mail in trade that a review will be written on amazon.com.

That soon will come. This is extra!!

Jodi Ambrose discusses what is known as The List. At a minimum of twenty separate things about the opposite sex that you should know about. Basically these books are your guidelines to earning yourself lots more sex.

That’s right. Books for both genders on tips on getting laid, and getting laid a lot!!

Sounds good, doesn’t it??

Even though the terms of the exchange were firmly written in her blog, I actually had the balls to make a counter offer to her original deal.

She knew that I have been wanting these books for a long time but just never could put the money together to purchase them. After all, her original deal was to ship the books in the mail for FREE. I couldn’t lose! But noooooo… I had to go and make the counter offer that she autograph anything that she sent.

Signed. Sealed. Delivered.

Jodi Ambrose- 3. Dambreaker-0.

Oops! Uh-oh. I’m screwed and not in the way that is explained in the books!!!!!!!

I took great delight when I received the package in the mail that I nearly squealed like a 9 year old girl with glee. And I enjoyed the written messages attached within each book. And even though she warned me NOT to read the book written for women as to not to reveal their secrets, I will admit that I did thumb it through for a bit.

So enough about that. On with the show!! 

Sex: How To Get More Of It. A guy’s roadmap to paradise, in and out of the bedroom. 

This was the book that was targeted for males. Reading this book more closely than the other, I simply just have to agree with Jodi with each and every word written. Both serious and vulgar.

She’s got a way to use a dirty mouth to drive her point across into the male skull which most women think are thicker than their own. And though that may be true for some, the helpful hints and tips have no trouble getting through the cranial barrier and into the brain of even the oddest of men all the way to the intelligent, knowledge-seeking lovers.

Vernacular is key throughout the entire book. She’s gone through the painful task of forming The List for men. And as much as I agree with The List, it would behoove all male readers to NEVER stray from it, NEVER change it, just obey it! That is if you ever dream of getting laid again in your lifetime. No matter if you are married, in a relationship that is new, or single… these words to the male readers should open up the guy’s senses in what it means to understand a woman… even if its just for a fraction of an inch.

But understanding a woman’s mind isn’t what its about. Again, the point is how to get laid!! And I do not know of any man who wouldn’t want to have that kind of knowledge in their arsenal.

As I turned page after page after page I wondered why most men have issues like these. It’s like the warning levels on consumer products. If it has to be written, its because some dumbass did something well…… dumbass. So apparently there are men out there who would benefit from this book.

Intimacy: How To Get More Of It. A peek into understanding the male mind. 

Again, I was warned not to read it. But I did read through most of it and there was a reason for that. I wanted to find out just how accurate it would be. In other words, I wanted to see if there was at any point that I would totally and vehemently disagree with any statement, remark, or piece of advice that Jodi had to offer.

Sweet beans of unholy mercy! There was nothing in the book that I would dare disagree with!!

Yep. That’s what happens!

Much like her book written for male readers, the book written for female readers also contain The List. It slightly differs because males and females differ. Imagine that, huh??

Jodi Ambrose definitely has her shit together where it matters. Both for males and females. And she puts it in the easiest terms possible. Vernacular also for females is probably spot on as well.

So as far as it goes with the books on intimacy and sex, I found myself eager to get to the next paragraph to see what it would say to me.

Guys can in fact get laid a lot more. And girls can receive the intimacy that they desire just the same. Just stay on the map that was written by Jodi Ambrose!

The books prove that there is a possibility of getting wonderful, mind-blowing sex for as long as you really want it!

I’m glad she stumbled across my blog. I’m glad I decided to reciprocate. And now, if you don’t mind….. I will sit back and wait to see what my punishment (or reward) will be for reading both books. I’ll be hearing from her soon in one way or another.

I cannot wait to utilize the cookbook that she put together with her husband collectively. It looks like so much fun, and yummy to say in the least!!!

Her blog can be found in the Blogroll. Find all three of her books on amazon.com if you want the intimacy or the sex that you still want and just haven’t been getting.