Dumbass Award For February 2014

“When I think over what I have said, I envy dumb people.”~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Wow. Well, I knew that this was coming soon. I could feel it in my bones. The problem was that I never thought it would hit on a local level. 

“You always hear about it happening. But you never thought it would happen to you.” Yeah that. EXACTLY that! 

So here I am on Friday evening, sweating the weekend. Knowing that this is not going to be fun. In fact the entire weekend is going to be nothing but not-fun-for-me full.

Instead of going into a panic, such as running out into the middle of the street, pulling what hairs I have left on my head from getting my head buzzed a few weeks ago, and ultimately getting hit by a bus or some idiot without a license, I went for the “next best thing” and asked the neighbors to take me out of this place for a while because it was going to be the only escape I would receive for the entire weekend. 

Sadly though this means that my suggestion to go out to eat comes with the fiscal responsibility of paying for the guy driving me there, and his wife. But I struck a deal with him that he was to know full and well that I would be reimbursed once he was paid next week. And any and all debts that were still outstanding with me would also be paid. 

He agreed and then we went to his wife to see what she thought about the idea. And she didn’t get what we were pitching at her. We had to walk her through it with baby steps. 

Finally, we were up and on our way to go out to eat at a restaurant of THEIR selection. $42 was the bill and I was told that $26 (plus tip) would be added to their current debt and be paid off next week. 

But I will say this before I go into the reasons why the nomination was so close to home. I was out of the house for nearly three hours, and the time just melted away. Everything that I had been poisoning my mind… I hadn’t even thought of. I am sooooo  thankful for that. 

So at the end of our evening, our waiter by the name of Jose came by and asked if we needed anything more. We declined but then the neighbor’s wife spoke up. 

Holy crap! What is she doing??

She was feeling absolutely rotten because neither she or her husband could participate or pitch in on at least the tip that was being left on the table. And it was really eating her up inside. 

What does she do?? One of the weirdest and dumbest things I have ever heard in my life!!!!! 

She asks Jose for his business card. And poor Jose!! English as a second language Jose. 

Between his faulty grasp of the English language, the babies that were screaming, crying, and carrying on. The multitudes of people talking all at the same time…. he just could not understand what she was asking for. 

So he brought over someone else who was actually busy trying to direct traffic of customers who were just coming in for their dining experience of the evening. And so the neighbor’s wife again explained the following scenario as I will write it below from her point of view: 

“My husband and I were invited here as a special treat to come eat here. And we don’t get paid until Tuesday of next week. So I was wondering if y’all could give me his card.”

Confusion set in on their faces again, just like Jose. 

“What I mean is write his first and last name on one of y’all’s cards so that the next time we come in here to eat, I can give him our half of his tip for tonight. We come in here regularly, and I just wanted to make sure that we gave him his tip.” 

WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT, OVER???????

First of all, she lied. Neither she nor her husband frequent the place that much. Probably once every couple of months. That’s not “frequent” by any definition. It might be consistency, but that’s not high frequency. 

Secondly, who does that and can say that they are of sound mind?????? NOBODY! Who gives an I.O.U. for a tip?? I have never heard such ridiculousness in all of my life. 

Besides…. there was already a tip on the table that I left. It wasn’t a lot. Nor was it the “average” but I gave what I could. And this woman decides to go pull this stunt. Probably because she felt he deserved more. But when you are being treated to dinner, it is really not your responsibility. It becomes yours only if you decide to chip in. And she was wanting to but found out that she was unable to. And pulls a stunt like that. It only caused her to get strange looks and an explanation in return that there’s a privacy policy that needs to be in place to protect their employees and she was not going to get what she requested…. but thank you for coming in and come back again soon! 

I do not know what her husband thought or was thinking at the time. But we were trying to leave and she insisted that she was going to wait for that second person to come back with a card with Jose’s full name on it. We waited ten very long, boring, and grueling minutes before she saw that same person again and realized that she was going to receive nothing. 

We marched our way to the exit doors. Our stomachs full of disgusting buffet food that was probably not good for anyone to eat. And the wife again found the second person she talked to and asked for that card just one more time. By then it was just embarrassing. And I bolted out through the front door into the chilly night air as the sun had disappeared for the evening and I realized we had been gone for hours. 

This is the quality of people that I live around. NOW can I get some sympathy?????????

 

 

Tim’s Place

Tim Harris

“If you can dream it, you can do it”!~Walt Disney

Here is Tim Harris, from Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Tim is a businessman and a restaurant owner in his late 20’s…… who just also happens to have Down’s Syndrome.

His restaurant promises to serve to its customers Breakfast•Lunch•Hugs.

http://www.amazingoasis.org/2013/12/restaurant-owner-with-down-syndrome.html

I heard about this fine young man through the magic of the POSITIVE side of Facebook. Which is still rare in my opinion!!

Thank you Carrie-Lee of “Cape Cod Cookie” for your post.

I love this guy and his story. His family surrounds him with love. And Mr. Tim Harris surrounds his customers, new and the regulars,  with love and hugs and apparently amazingly good food. This is exactly the positive, heart-warming story that needs to be spread around the world so many times. 

For me, its a personal victory. Its another middle finger to the world who dares to keep people with disabilities down. Don’t EVER count us down, because we will prove you wrong and put you to shame.

I wish nothing but success to Mr. Tim Harris.  And if ever I am in the area, I am going to go there. Both for the hugs and the food.

http://timsplaceabq.com/location

Hero Award For January 2013

 

Michael Garcia

A Houston waiter refused to serve a customer who made a rude comment about a child in the restaurant.

Michael Garcia is a waiter at Laurenzo’s Restaurant. He said his regular customers are like family, especially 5-year-old Milo Castillo and his parents.

Milo was born with Down syndrome.

On Wednesday, Garcia said another diner moved him family away from Milo’s table and made a comment about the boy.

The family was heard to have said, “Special needs children need to be special somewhere else.”

Garcia said he then confronted the customer. Garcia’s personal feelings took over as he informed them, “I’m not going to be able to serve you.”

The man and his family left. Milo’s parents said they didn’t know about what happened until another waiter told them about it.

Castillo said she was worried that Garcia might lose his job, but the restaurant stood behind his decision.

Upon reading this article, this man has earned my respect in more than one way. Living with any disability can be difficult, both for that person and for the people that must take care of that disabled person. It is not easy. So comments like that do not belong in society. I’m glad that Garcia stood up for this child and did what he did. And he gets the Hero Award for January.

We’ve Got A Dambreaker Down

“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.”~ Bo Bennett

 

To my surprise, this evening I would make a return to the local Applebee’s for dinner. The same one where the two “cougars” of neighbors were flirting with the waitress when I went there last Friday.

 

I went with three different people, and I had told them about how really cute the young woman was.

 

The collective group was indecisive and I stepped away. When I came back, they said that’s where we were going. I then said that if she was working again, that I would point her out to them so that they could see for themselves how cute she really is.

 

I found it really peculiar that when I was ahead of the pack and went into the restaurant that we were seated at the same table that I sat at last Friday, and a chair was already removed from the same spot at the table. Weird.

 

Well, we did not have the same waitress. We had a guy waiting on us that was just as good as far as service goes. I asked him if she was working though. He said that she was there, but not on the clock. Then a few seconds later, I saw her and I tried very unconspicuously to point her out to the rest of the group that was with me tonight.

 

I was RIGHT (for once) about her being really cute. Neener neener neener!!!

 

But she never looked our direction, or walked by or anything. Up until about 6:00 when she did walk by and stopped at our table to say hello. I introduced the “gang” to this waitress and they exchanged greetings.

 

I was moving into “cute and quirky” mode and I said to her.. “Sorry, I don’t have a camera with me tonight.” Because I took her picture last Friday.

 

Her response was more of relief by saying, “Good because I don’t like pictures. I don’t do well with it.”

 

Cute & quirky: FAIL.

 

She kept herself at a distance, didn’t make any contact with me or anyone else at the table and kept shifting her weight from one leg to the other, swinging her arms. She was a bowl of JELL-O.

 

She asked if we needed anything and if we were satisfied with our food and what not, and we gave her the thumbs up. Then she said that she had been there working the lunch hours and was off for a few hours but back on the clock again at 6:00. I looked at my watch and it was exactly that. So she asked again if she could get us anything and we politely declined. From that point she walked away. She would never even walk anywhere near our table the rest of the evening.

 

So at the end of our night there Ipulled some cash from my wallet and slipped it into my hand again like I had done on Friday. Then when I saw her, I went into her direction. She would cross directly in front of me and excuse herself, and I called out, “Hey, come here?”.

 

She never moved. Only turned around. I stuck out my hand to “shake her hand” and I was telling her how good it was to see her again and that I had not thought that I would be back so soon. She probably saw the money in between my fingers this time and she just suggested that I give the money to our actual server.

 

I told her that I had already done so on the credit card slip. And that it was for her.

 

She looked right at me, didn’t raise her voice or throw a fit… simply said, “No!”.

 

Ummm…

 

I told her that it was for her. Again, she said “No!”.

 

I asked if she was going to take it or not and once more, the same as the first two times came out: “No!”. She didn’t even blink.

 

I know what waitresses in the state receive per hour, and it was only $5.00 that I was given her. Not the keys to a new car which resembles her actual first name.

 

When I gave up the offer and retreated, she turned back around and walked away without as much as saying, “Have a good night.”

 

So I guess this means that she probably has a boyfriend, or was thinking that I was trying to do something more than what I was intending on.

 

Also, I guess this is going to mean that I am going to have to go back and the class for being cute and quirky over again.

 

I was shot down, but I was not kept down. HER LOSS.

 

Back to the drawing boards!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Restaurant Regret

“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”~ William Shakespeare

 

I think a better quotation for this blog post would be “What the hell were you thinking?”, but I have no idea who to give the credit to.

 

This afternoon I was conversing with neighbors. I was slightly hinting that we all should go as a small group out to eat this evening.

 

Come to find out that they were celebrating the sale of a vehicle. They had sold it for $800, but really wanted $2,500.

 

But they were not opposed to the idea of going out to eat as they did have that money now. I was happy for them. The vehicle was sold and now out of their hands.

 

So we went back and forth with each other in trying to choose where to go. The idea had come to go to a restaurant that we have been to before, but they wanted to go to a different location. Claiming it takes just as long to go south as it does north.

 

Same restaurant, different direction. Instead of traveling 16 miles north, they wanted to go 38 miles south.

 

I was unsure about making such a trip just to eat. So I came up with the following four questions about this OTHER location:

 

#1- Food quality?

#2- Service quality?

#3- Friendliness of staff?

#4- Eye candy factor [I am still single!]

 

I was met up with such a glowing rant about the first three questions, but the fourth question really didn’t get much of a response. Nothing but a grin. And that didn’t tell me anything.

 

So when it came close to the time when we had planned to leave, I called my neighbors. I wanted to make sure that this was THEIR celebration, a.k.a.- I wanted to make sure that they were paying for it, since they suddenly had the money and certainly could afford to do so.

 

I should have known better, but it was every man for himself. Something that I should have seen coming, with them in particular.

 

So we went, departing in the middle of the rush hour traffic. We weren’t even 10 miles away from home when the driver began to bitch and moan about how it was going to take forever to get there, and that we shouldn’t have made the decision to go so late and should have went for lunch and wondered if we should just turn around. Just full out ridiculous road rage. Except she wasn’t yelling at other drivers on the road, she was yelling at the passengers in the vehicle.

 

The driver was also annoyed that I was receiving text messages on my cell phone periodically. For some reason, that bothered her.

 

But a full hour, we arrived. We walked in, and all I could think about was how small it was in comparison to what we were used to. I had to remember that we were in a smaller town than the other as well.

 

So we sat down and ate. I noticed the subtle differences on the buffet. But for the most part, it was the same foods. It just took me a very long time to get over the fact that the building was smaller. I even had to laugh when I saw a sign on the wall in the back that said “SMOKING AREA”. Which, there is none of that here any more.

 

I laughed so much that I attempted to take a picture of it with my cell phone, but just as I was taking the picture, I got busted doing it. They asked what I was doing and I dodged them by saying, “I’m looking to see if I got a signal in here to make a call.” They didn’t say anything else.

 

But all in all, this dining experience failed so badly. And if you take into consideration the company that I was keeping, whom half of them had really poor behaviors and attitudes… it only made things more miserable.

 

By the end of the evening, I had only made myself full on mashed potatoes and gravy. Everything else just tasted so awful!!

 

And then when we were getting ready to leave, everyone pulled out their wallets to leave some kind of cash gratuity for our server. Our server was in fact nice. But she had no name tag. No label in which to call her by name. I didn’t understand what kind of a food business they were trying to run. How does anyone get any specific customer service when they don’t know who to call upon?

 

Then I grabbed the pile of dollar bills and said, “I’m going to personally hand it to her.”

 

The next thing that I heard was a remark that came from the company that I was with, that was so immature and so uncalled for.

 

“Just so you can make her think that it came all from you, huh?”.

 

Umm really? Was that necessary?? I mean, “thank you” for driving me an hour down there and 45 minutes back home and what not, but REALLY???

 

I did so, end up giving the server the gratuity. Her hands were full and she told me to slip the money in her apron. I felt like I was giving cash to a stripper. Minus the nudity. Those who were there as servers were probably all high school kids working their evenings away.

 

As we were driving home, the seat belt fit so snug on across my stomach and chest area that I wasn’t feeling that I had enough room for my body to begin the process of digestion. I was hurting so bad. And the radio station that we listened to while in the vehicle kept having this commercial about “food poisoning”. That wasn’t helping much either. And then the songs that were being played on the radio were only making me feel worse!

 

So with all of that, and including the piss poor attitudes of others in the vehicle with me: This truly was a pathetic and horrible experience. The four factors in which I had asked about? Fail, fail, fail, and fail.

 

This will change something. Either I will not go back to that particular restaurant, or I will not be keeping company with the same people when I have dining experiences away from home.

 

 

 

 

Chinese Gas

“Basically, my life is so boring, it’s embarrassing. “~ Hugh Grant

 

Not as embarrassing as the story that I am about to write about in this blog!!

 

At least it was embarrassing then. Many, many years later it is rather hilarious once you get to hear it all.

 

It will be given in great detail as I still can recall it just as vividly as it had happened. This post will be long, but I think well worth the time.

 

The unfortunate thing about this story is that it is going to be missing an audio component that would make it SO worth while to tell, as well as for the reader to hear about. So I will do the best that I can because it might have been embarrassing back then, but it is probably one of the funniest stories that I can tell, and that you will know about in many years to come.

 

I am reminded of this story since I took a little time this afternoon to get out of my home and just spend time with my thoughts and take in some unusual scenery as well as eat at a local and nearby Chinese food restaurant. This story takes place at ANOTHER Chinese food restaurant many, many years ago in the community of Garden City, Kansas.

 

It was called “Golden Dragon”. I looked it up on the Internet and happy to say that it still is there. But at the time, it was brand new. It had not even been there for a full year before I took my debut adventure into the restaurant.

 

It was winter in Kansas. The sun was down early and I was unusually hungry that evening. But I didn’t want to cook and the only thing that I knew that would deliver was pizza and I just wasn’t feeling up to having pizza. And then I remembered, “Golden Dragon”.

 

So I gathered my winter clothing and dressed up like ‘Randy’ from “A Christmas Story” and went out into the cold crisp Kansas evening air. It had been snowing for days, but on that day there was a break.

 

There were no curb cuts, so I had to push myself in my wheelchair just shy of one mile in the middle of the street, just taking my time as I carried on. The sounds of snow crackling under my wheels as I pushed. Tiny mounds of snow up to about an inch and a half accumulation on the streets causing my winter gloves to get very wet and soak through to the fingers before I even arrived.

 

I was probably very fortunate that the street that I went on had little to no traffic at all. But then again, who in their right mind would be out on the streets like that if they didn’t have to be? …… that would be me!!!

 

When I arrived, I began a small state of undress. Hat, gloves, and so on. I remember it being a very cozy and family friendly atmosphere with all of the traditional decorations of a simple and similar Chinese restaurant.

 

I also remember feeling very relaxed once I was seated at a table which was towards the back. There were these partitions with absolutely beautiful designs in the glass, probably about three and a half feet tall. From my vantage point, I could only see the top of people’s heads. Or their entire heads, if they were tall.

 

So there I sat at a table, probably 3 ft. by 3 ft. Very small, very intimate. And then a waitress came to give me their menu.

 

Sad to say that there was no Dr Pepper so I instead had to choose something else to drink. And that was Wild Cherry Pepsi.

 

The waitress was very nice and pleasant. In fact she was actually quite attractive. So I recall drinking down the first round of Wild Cherry Pepsi, just so she could come by and take my glass to refill it and come back to give it to me again.

 

Now, I wasn’t too much of a Chinese food fanatic. I’m still not today. If I am eating Chinese food, it’s very simple. That night I had ordered Shrimp Fried Rice.

 

And that was my meal. Just the drink and the rice. Nothing more. (At that time, I couldn’t afford more!)

 

So I sat there in my little area all to myself, drinking and drinking and drinking until this enormous bowl of food was presented to me. This bowl was so large, that you could probably cook a baby in it. But I’m not saying that I would. It was actually THAT BIG!

 

And depth? Forget it! But I then realized why it was costing so much to order because they were giving so much food in one solitary bowl.

 

I had stopped to survey it all. I knew then that once I started eating, that I was not going to be permitted to stop until I was absolutely certain that I was either full OR had an empty bowl.

 

Once you begin eating large portions of food and then you stop? It’s all over. You won’t be able to eat much more after that. The body will begin to tell your brain that it is full and so: Game Over.

 

Pausing is one thing. Stopping for several minutes, even if it’s just two or three is your doom.

 

So the waitress asked, “Cherry Pepsi??”. Ugh! I can still hear the sweet sounds of her voice in my head even after all these years. I was too shy back then to ask her name, much less ask her out. Which is something I should have done.

 

And throughout the rest of my visit at that restaurant, that is all that she would say to me. Over and over again, asking if I wanted more to drink.

 

I began to eat. This also, I should add, was the first time that I had ever had SHRIMP Fried Rice. So I ate and ate. I took my time and knew that I shouldn’t rush it. Even though I had thought in the back of my mind that I was never going to finish it. I wanted to at least eat half of it. That was my goal.

 

Several minutes later, bite after bite I felt my stomach begin to dance. It pushed whatever it was in there up into my chest. I knew that I was about to burp.

 

Or so I thought. I put the fork into the bowl and grabbed my napkin and placed it to cover my mouth and politely expel what was coming. But nothing happened.

 

Whatever it was, subsided. So I continued to eat. I continued to drink. And then it came back. That burning sensation in the middle of my chest. Again, I dropped my fork and picked up my napkin for an attempt of couth of what was about to happen, or at least as much as I could muster.

 

Then it went away again. I continued to eat.

 

Right about that time there was a bunch of voices that were rather loud for the quiet atmosphere that I was enjoying. A family had come in to eat. A family… with children.

 

I looked up but could see nothing but a cowboy hat floating along the top edge of the partition that separated me and my table from the rest of the establishment. The voices that carried throughout the building were best described as “redneck”. That stammering, loud drawl of an accent. Not to mention the subtle obscenities that one would find in an American comedy that had been rated PG-13. But since I couldn’t see them, I continued to eat. I could hear them though!!

 

This family, whomever it was, was so excited to be there. So I imagine that it must’ve felt like (for them) that they were visiting Disneyland.

 

I continued to eat once more. And sure enough that burning, building pressure just shot up into my chest again, and I dropped and covered one more time. And still there was no result.

 

The waitress came by with her repetitious question, and I agreed. She came back quickly with yet another full glass of Wild Cherry Pepsi and placed it on the far left corner away from me on this small 3 ft by 3 ft table.

 

I nodded, smiled, and thanked her as I had been doing all evening long.

 

I focused more on what I was doing. I could see that I was making progress as there was a hole in the center of this giant pile of rice. I began to wonder just how much deeper in the center of the bowl I was going to have to eat before I saw the bottom.

 

I reached over, took a sip of my beverage and placed it back into its corner. With the other hand, I took my fork and began to eat more.

 

Suddenly that feeling came back. I went through it again and I just felt so frustrated that there was no result at all.

 

I put my napkin down on the table and grabbed my fork yet again. This time wondering what was going on, trying to figure out why I wasn’t burping.

 

And then….. out of nowhere…..!!

 

I was lifting my fork to my mouth with a small amount of rice on it when all of a sudden this noise carried from my stomach, up through my esophagus and out of my mouth.

 

[this is where the audible portion of the story would take place.]

 

Let me try to describe to you what this burp sounded like:

 

It was a cross between a train, a fog horn, and an elephant having sex with a grizzly bear that is having sex with a rhinoceros that is having sex with a tortoise all at the same time. It was a minimum of 25 seconds in length. And it started out low with a booming crescendo from my young bass voice.

 

I looked down and saw that the blast of gas was actually blowing the food completely off of the fork that was just mere inches from my mouth. The hellacious winds of gastrointestinal havoc blew so hard that it was blowing into the bowl of rice and began to move it around until the cone separated everything to the side and I saw the bottom of the bowl for just those moments.

 

Meanwhile, the table shook violently and the ice cubes in my glass rattled like it was experiencing an 7.0 magnitude earthquake.

 

And then it was over. Silence came from my throat. The fork trembling in my hand was empty. The rice had congealed back into its former state prior to being blown apart by air. No longer able to see the bottom of the bowl. The glass on the far corner stopped shaking and all I could see was the tiny carbonation bubbles rising to the top. My napkin had been blown to the floor.

 

I was frozen in fear. The world had stopped for those seconds and nothing else mattered but the ferocious sounds of my stomach expelling gas through my mouth.

'What happened next, was a thing only told in history books...'.

 

And then again, the silence had been broken. Somewhere inside the restaurant that same type of southern, “redneck” voice rang out with an expression that I will never forget for as long as I live.

“What … in the fuck … was THAT?!?!?!?”.

 

The children were giggling softly. One of the little girls said, “Mommy, somebody burp-ed!”. And then I could hear a stern warning from one of the parents as the children were actually shushed.

 

I could feel my body began to warm over. I knew that I was blushing with great embarrassment. And in just a fraction of a second after that outburst from someone else, the waitress came back.

 

I felt like I was about to “have a talk” with her about what I had done. All she said to me was: “More Cherry Pepsi??”.

 

I escaped further damage with that innocent offer.

 

Throughout the rest of the night, I did the best that I could in eating what I could. And it too, was an embarrassment. Instead of taking more drink I opted for the check. Minutes later, I paid and I got dress again to face the winter weather at night.

 

I took home the leftovers but never ate them as I continued to look at the container in the refrigerator and my mind would remember the explosive belch I had let out in public.

 

A few hours later, I called my best friends on the telephone and told them the story of the Great Belch of Garden City. They laughed so hard that they admitted to me that snot came out of their noses.

 

When I saw them again in person, they wanted me to tell them the story. I ended up having to tell that story every day for about seven weeks. Many times I just told the story over and over to the same people because they thought it was THAT funny!

 

I never went back to the Golden Dragon. I didn’t fear anything. I just never thought about it again. But I would be reminded when someone would come up to me and ask me to tell the tale again. And usually I will think of what happened whenever I enter another Chinese restaurant. But since it happened in another state, nobody around here knows about it. But now, the Internet does know.

 

And as I open the fortune cookie from today’s adventure, I smile as I wonder which one of my friends are actually going to read about this experience and perhaps ask me about it later. Which one of my friends are going to crack up laughing because this story is so funny to them?

 

Today’s fortune cookie: Your greatest fortune is the large number of friends that you have.

 

 

BACON!!

If I don’t eat breakfast or another breakfast food item ever again, that will be just fine. But then again, give me a few weeks and I’ll be over this miserable feeling and be right back at it again!

The group went out today for an early lunch. However with the disappearance of Denny’s “Baconalia”, I was extremely disappointed.

I had promised one of my best friends that when I went out today for lunch, that I would attack the short menu of “Baconalia” just to say I tried it out. But alas, Denny’s has discontinued that and moved on to another promotion.

Wasn’t thrilled. So instead, I went and ate somewhere else where I knew that there would be bacon. What would happen next, nobody could have predicted. Not even Madam Cleo.

Nothing else looked that good on the menu, so I simply ordered a plate of bacon. That’s it! That’s what I set out for really, and nothing else. And so I ate that. And then the waitress asked me if I wanted more, I said “yes” and another plate was brought out.  Over and over again until the amount of bacon that was being served on each plate grew larger and larger. Apparently the manager of the restaurant was keeping tabs on me, and was counting how many strips of bacon I was consuming.

He came over to me and made a deal. If I could eat three more plates of bacon in a certain amount of time, my lunch would be free and they would begin a “bacon eating championship” for those customers who were interested.

I didn’t think I had anything to lose, so I went for it. The neighbors though, that went along weren’t too pleased. So I ate those three extra plates. That last one and a quarter plates of bacon though were extremely tough to swallow. But it got done. The manager took my picture with his cell phone and said he was going to post it on the wall of the restaurant.

So now I’ve set some sort of restaurant record. The manager claims it was three pounds of bacon in total. Although I have a very difficult time believing him as my mind is still swimming in maple flavored pork.

I do agree that I went too far with this adventure.  Sometimes my dedication to keep a promise overwhelms me and I just simply take things too far. Who knows what the damage could have been once I received the bill? Its something I truly don’t want to think about at this point. But I still argue just how much bacon I did consume.

Now I am waiting for that all important belch to relieve some of the pressure in my stomach. People in Oklahoma are gonna feel it once it comes.

Oh well, at least I won’t have to worry about eating supper tonight and my breath now smells like maple syrup.