An Uncertain Farewell

“You and I will meet again, When we’re least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won’t say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again.”~ Tom Petty

Somewhere near Waco, Texas this evening gathered a group of people to join with food and fellowship. Among the participants of this crowd, and the hosts of this gathering were Auggie Del Ray and Brenda Flores of local music fame in Waco.

Auggie and Brenda, along with drummer Erik Williams were saying their farewells to Texas.

The band BEAUTIFUL DISTURBANCE dissolved with the departure of their bass player and they made the difficult but confident decision that in order to further their career in music that they were going to be moving to Los Angeles. But as the new project called “Queen Of Kings.” I did personally receive an invitation to Waco, Texas to join them this evening at their Farewell Party. I had previously been invited one-on-one by Auggie and Brenda to come to their party even before the announcement of them leaving for Los Angeles was actually made public. I’ve kept it to myself… until now.

Unfortunately I was unable to travel and attend. And it has me somewhat heartbroken. But that definitive spark within way in the back of my mind tells me that this change is for the better. Over the last few years of attending their live performances and shows locally and in once in Houston, I have felt like I was part of La Familia. I had heard about them for the first time in 2012.

It was a musical suggestion to check them out by Dr. Froth from SIX MINUTE CENTURY. My first opportunity to see them perform live was the 30th of June in 2012. It was an acoustic set but that didn’t matter. I was set and sold as a fan. And from that moment on I feel as if I have grown with them, and them with me as musical friends and colleagues. I only needed to hear the first three seconds of “Nearly Forgotten” to know I was going to fully get into this band…. complete with rockin’ out until the cows come home or someone calls the police, whichever happened first.

The song became like an anthem for me.

I had their EP, and I insisted that they autographed it, even though they might have given me the look that I was insane.

I still have that EP. A little smudged but in good condition otherwise. I’ve probably seen Auggie and Brenda perform live with their band more times than any other band that I’ve followed here in Texas. When opportunity was knocking… I answered the door!!

I followed them in 2013 and in 2014 during the SXSW Music Festivals as much as I could. I’ve supported them when they went into the New York/New Jersey area to the recording studio with freakin’ Atlantic Records. I supported them throughout these past few years and now this is a new chapter with more opportunity to support them.

The rough factor to think about is that they will be in California chasing that dream and then one day capturing it. Farewells though, are never easy. Most certainly, they are not easy for me as I never utter the words “goodbye” from my voice. For anything or for anyone.

California is going to be hit by a major storm by their massive talents. Queen of Kings will make a name for themselves there. Their flag will be put into the ground. I regret not being able to go to the party earlier. I regret not being able to attend their show as Queen of Kings at Muddle in Waco, Texas on the 15th of August. If you are in that area or going to be, I would definitely stop for the evening. It is worth your time.

From my first show on 30 June 2012 to seemingly my last show at SXSW on the 14th of March. And I was always up front or as close as I could be to up front and singing along.

Without knowing that their path was going to lead them out of Texas, it now seems legitimate and appropriate that the last time that I saw Brenda and Auggie I attempted to give the band a dozen red roses, not knowing if Auggie was going to introduce me to his massive, anaconda-sized biceps to wrap around my neck.

The band probably didn’t even know themselves at that time but if any one of us would have known that this decision was going to be made in the future… I would have found something tons better to say as I departed from them other than to use humor and mix it with my ability of being bilingual and say….. “Hasta la tacos!”

So now they have their final show on the 15th and shortly after they will begin their journey to Los Angeles. 

Of course I am happy for them and I wish them well. But I’m sad that I won’t see them again before they leave. I will continue to encourage them in both their personal lives and in their professional lives as musicians. And I’ll cross my fingers in hope, praying that they return for SXSW 2015 and beyond with each annual festival afterward.

Erik: I didn’t get many chances to get to know you personally as I may have liked. But I am glad that our paths have crossed and that we became friends. I hope you capture those stars in the sky and hang on to them for dear life. Your talent as a drummer and musician is remarkable. The West Coast honestly will not know what hit them until you’ve left your mark on them. Walk tall, be proud of yourself as we are of you, especially me. I only wished I had more time with you. I will miss you, brother. 

Auggie, ……. if I may, hermano: These have been some crazy times. But I feel that they’ve been productive times throughout the past couple of years that I’ve known you ever since meeting you for the first time in person at the Microsoft store at The Domain that very warm late June afternoon. It was worth busting my ass and falling over many times over uncovered paths to find you and watch that fire within you just grow and grow and grow with every single possible that I have seen you perform live. If I had my own band, you would be the sought after gold mine that bands so desire as a musician and as a person with that drive and desire to be successful in all that you do. Thank you for all that you have done for me, both spoken and unspoken. Realized and unrealized by you. You’ve been such the pillar of inspiration for me, the strength in many weaknesses to press on and to keep going. Be good to those intimidating biceps. Keep crashing those drum sets!!! Keep me posted. I love you, amigo. You rock!! And as always: \m/

Brenda: This has probably been the hardest blog post to date to have to write. Along with Auggie, you too have done so much for me, whether I actually told you or not. Your voice is wonderful and powerful. I’ve gone through chills to tears and to smiles and everything in between and back again each and every time I’ve heard you once you’ve picked up a microphone. Los Angeles is definitely picking up a new treasure. Too bad we couldn’t have done a duet or something, that would have been fun (or scary) to do. Scary for me at least. I’m never going to forget just what a beautiful person you are both on the inside and outside. Your passion and strength is exemplary and its something that I strive to duplicate every day of my life. You and Auggie are a permanent fixture and role model in my own life. And I know that you will be setting that same example out west as more and more people are able to hear your voice and talents. Never lose touch. I love you as well, amiga.

Robin Williams Dead At 63

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.”~Robin Williams

At this point in time, I honestly do not have anything that would be considered to be epic or profound or even uplifting.

Upon hearing the news, I immediately went into denial mode. So many celebrities have been “reported” to have been dead when it was all just a hoax.

It being Robin Williams, and it NOT being a hoax? I am not going to lie to you, it tore my shit up from the floor up.

I haven’t been this lost, confused, shocked, and sad since the death announcement of Michael Jackson. And to be honest, knowing that Jackson’s death has already been several years ago is just mind blowing to me.

This was not a celebrity death that I ever thought I would see. Robin Williams in my own eyes was the ultimate king of comedy and had been for all of my life. From the re-runs of Mork & Mindy to the plethora of feature films that he made, spanning a career of various in-depth characters. And he was seemingly flawless every time he stepped in front of that camera.

Now I know that there are plenty of people flooding social media websites and other networks right now with articles announcing the death.

However, just as it was with the death of Whitney Houston, I CHOOSE to wait for a full investigation to be concluded on just exactly what had happened. I am aware of the statement given relating to Williams suffering depression. But yet I remain firm in the choice to wait and see. And it does bother me every time there is a “celebrity” death that people right away know what happened. Why can’t we all just stop, take a deep breath, and just wait for the professionals and experts to do their job??

Still on the other side of this coin, I suspect that what they are saying about this matter is probably going to be the truth. I say let’s wait and see.

Williams caught my attention in “Patch Adams” as well as other films such as “Dead Poets Society” and “Mrs. Doubtfire” of course. The poem that he reads in “Patch Adams” has since then had a remarkable bolt on my life both private and public.

I sincerely send my best wishes to his wife and children and the rest of his family. For those of you who were waiting on the next installment from my SIX MINUTE CENTURY adventure that came to an end this morning… I sincerely apologize.

But this death announcement has put me in no state to write about my most recent journey as you the reader, are deserving of. Please be patient.

God bless Robin Williams and his family at this time. I am totally shattered. We will always love Robin Williams and will miss him greatly.

 

Going To The Zoo

“Zoo animals are ambassadors for their cousins in the wild.”~ Jack Hanna

Finally! At long last!! I was able to convince my neighbors and members of staff to actually go to the zoo.

Working this project for almost four years, and going through three different social services coordinators… the hard would work pay off.

OR would it?!?

Everyone knew that this was “my baby” and everyone knew that I had been trying this for a long, long, long time.

So it was put on the calendar and suddenly there was more talk about what to do while we were out. Some of the rest of my neighbors saw to it that we would stop somewhere on our way to the zoo to stop and have lunch.

And so we would stop to eat.

It wasn’t bad. This new Mexican food restaurant.

Probably the only thing that would be worthy mentioning about this place is the SNAFU that happened when some other waitress placed before me someone else’s plate. And throughout the rest of our time sitting in this restaurant, I just would not hear the end of it.

Until I finally embraced it and fired back. Yeah, don’t barb on Dambreaker. Dambreaker will get you back!!!

So on to the zoo which is wayyyyyyyyyyyyy the hell out there! It probably took more than an hour to drive. And that was ridiculous point #1.

Another twenty minutes, we could have been in another city and visited THEIR zoo.

Upon arrival, you could hear the wild animals screaming. It was just slightly disheartening as it sounded like someone was screaming “help!” for some reason. Turned out to be the peacocks that were roaming around on the property towards the front entrance of the zoo.

These loud mouth fowls were everywhere. Although they did not spread out their feathers on display.  

Yet they were the ones that were screaming.

Inside the main office building was their basic central operations.

Admissions, business, administration, and of course gift shop.

And what do we know about me with gift shops?

Yes… you cannot leave me unattended. And the group of five other people did just that in the gift shop area of the building.

They have a sign up about their policy of if you spend $50 or more, then you get a FREE zoo admission for future use that will expire in about a year.

Yes, I have that FREE admission.  But I am about to tell you why I am not going to personally use it. I’ll either just let it go to waste or give it to someone who wants it.

Going out the back door to go see all the animals, there was already a problem. Gravel, dirt, and hills.

Geez!! I couldn’t really get up the first hill that passed into the main part of the zoo where the majority of the animals were. I had been found by a stranger who asked if I wanted help. It took three adult women to get me up that stupid hill.

And going down the hill was not fun either. Whomever designed the zoo and constructed its pathways is a complete and total idiot who had NO regards to the elderly or disabled.

None whatsoever!!

No, I do NOT care how old this zoo is… this was shady and ridiculous. 

I have no idea how many animals I missed getting to see because of this. But I saw some of the major animals that zoos normally have on display. Needless to say that before I left the office I asked about eagles and they admitted to not having any.

In an effort to be very mean I said outloud, “Then why am I here?”

Yeah… I absolutely did.

I probably should have been paying more attention as it would have been a giant red flag for me.

Simply put, the zoo is NOT a place for those who are disabled or have difficulty walking or other mobile issues and this would include the elderly.

Even one of the neighbors came back through and immediately complained about the place, especially for people like me and older people. The thing about her is that she is a REAL LIFE nun!! So people actually pay attention to her.

She was given someone’s card with information on it. And given an apology and the lack-luster excuse that they do not have the money to construct an accessible zoo.

I want to get my hands on that business card!!!!

And then it struck me. This zoo is not just your normal big city zoo. This is an animal sanctuary for rescued animals. Every last animal and species in this zoo has been rescued at one point or another. This is NOT just a zoo.

So I will not be returning again. And for several factors that would include the long distances.

I had more fun at the Houston Zoo a couple of years ago and I STILL didn’t see everything there either.

When The Time Comes To Say Those Words You Hate To Say

“It feels right. But it’s emotional. Saying goodbye to anything you’ve done that long is hard.”~ Angela Ruggiero

The 28th of February, will be our social services coordinator’s last and final day of working with us here at the apartment complex where I live.

She had started to tell this to everyone on a one-on-one basis, knowing that the news was going to spread like wild fire.

She’s been with us for two years. And unfortunately for me, her leaving will be the fourth person who has come and taken over that office and that job and has eventually left.

One retired, one quit, one got fired. This one found a better job opportunity. And yet here I am in my numb state talking about it as it is just beyond midnight and will have the morning and part of the afternoon to see her at her work, in her office. Not really knowing what to say to her other than to wish her well in her future endeavors. But I am not one for typical responses. 

My neighbor tried to pin it on the fact that she’s this hot chick with long red hair. But that was established two years ago when she walked in the door for her first interview and I happened to see her walking up the sidewalk to enter into our community building. It was also established that she was married and had been for many years. And I just don’t play that game of home wrecking.

So for two years, I’ve done what I could to deal with that sort of thing and I believe that I have done my best not to let it get in the way of letting her do her job and whatever else she needed to do.

Yet when you are around someone five days a week, forty hours a week, one cannot help but develop some attachment. Even if its just simply being social and polite and acting like a caring human being. Yes I did find the long red hair attractive on her. No, I didn’t say or do anything really stupid in order to make her freak out or wanna report me to the police or her boss or whatever. I did say some snarky things but I knew that I had crossed a boundary by her reply of either “oh boy!!” or “oh dear!!” None of which had any permanent damage and yes, I was brave enough to tell her that I was sorry during times. And forgiveness was shortly followed. 

But here I am faced with a dilemma that is very much so a personal problem. The farewell. Or as the rest of you call it “The Goodbye Conversation” … even though I freakin’ HATE using that term. What is appropriate? But also what is not going to sound like a standard and cliché response?

With the new job that she took, it does sound like (for her) that it would be a step forward and an improvement. And honestly, we all should do that in our lives and careers. Step and move forward. But it does not sound like much of an opportunity that she would return for a visit any time soon. Much like the person before her. But the person before her actually retired, instead of going to a different job. So the former person has the time, the one who is leaving us today probably will not.

So I hope that soon, everything will be okay and that I won’t sound like an asshole when I am having my last conversation with her …. as a professional. Nobody can say for sure if I will ever have a conversation away from this property and as a person. I do believe however, that anything is possible. I just hope that the possible becomes a probable.

I spoke to a different professional today. I explained that her leaving us is like being in mourning. Those of us (like myself) who got close enough to her. And they said that I was right. Being in “mourning” just plain sucks.. there’s nothing else more to describe it. And I hope that the mourning period for this particular personal loss will not last long.

I am sure that I will write a follow-up blog soon, probably sometime this weekend. Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!

Don’t Know If I’ll Make It Until Then

“I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it.”~ Esai Morales

I’m sitting here, staring blank at the clock and I realize that in just a few minutes, it is about to be a new day.

I also realize that it will be one day closer to that ill-thought that is Valentine’s Day.

I thought that this year would be different for me. I no longer have that thought any more this very night. And with under a week to go….. the answer is unclear at this point.

I had asked someone to “be my Valentine” and in my past experiences, either I was lied to or my request was denied. And even if I had offered an evening full of PLATONIC surprises to a woman, having a date for that night would never ever happen. Not ever.

The closest thing that came to a Valentine’s Day celebration was with my last girlfriend. She didn’t want conventional gifts such as roses and chocolates. But she was able to chose what was to be had for dinner and I was the one that cooked it and had it ready to be placed on the table by the time she got home from work. There was no intimacy that evening either as she had been feeling bad days prior and all the excitement of the surprise was too much for her to handle. She went to bed long before I did that night.

So I’ve not been given the experience of chocolates, and roses, and diamonds, and kissing and making love. And yes that makes me VERY BITTER towards the holiday in general almost to the point of hating it.

But yes, I did ask someone to be my Valentine this year. And they said yes. Okay, great… now what? Now it was time to go into the pages of the books written by Jodi Ambrose and take a refresher course of the do’s and do not’s. Even though this woman ….. well, there’s nothing there. Just me being interested. 

I won’t get into detail to spare anyone from the public shaming session that would be inevitable to come by colleagues and close personal friends of mine, but so close to being able to do what I would like to do on a Valentine’s Day ….. only to find out that the woman has betrayed my senses and my trust. I know that I will be receiving personal messages about this. And I am ready for some of those messages to be along the lines of “I told you so!” but I will not fight them.  Being tricked and deceived by someone in this manner is not fun. I find it earth shattering and it doesn’t help anything going on with me upstairs.   

So again with just so many days left.. I’ve not done anything about it. I don’t know at this point if I will or if I will just let Valentine’s Day slide and let it join the rest of the lonely Valentine’s Days that I have a nearly a lifetime of.

Maybe one day I will get it right.

Maybe I won’t.

If you are still reading this: blog posts are probably going to be this “sad” for a while until I am able to stand back up again. And I know that day is coming!!

It is honestly not meant intentionally to the masses of people to be reading about my pain but this IS MY BLOG!! And I shall turn a few posts into a diary if I feel like it.

And even if I make the rest of this week through… I’m just not sure that I will make it to BJ & Steak Day.

 

Ding! Dong!

 

Its been a long day coming. But the day is finally approaching.

The neighborhood is approaching a possible place of peace.

The wild and unruly neighbor that I have spoken of before.. the one made a name for herself as kind of an alcoholic and a whore. Word on the street is that she’s been given an eviction notice.

Some of the neighbors are finding it, a victory. Others are finding it a tragedy although they agree with the decision to have her removed.

I’m not quite sure of what will happen with her. Although I have seen her in great decline over the past several years. Including her own health, both physically and mentally.

Drugs, alcohol, and sex simply do NOT mix!!!!

When we had heard the horrible news that she had a sexually transmitted disease, we felt really bad for her. We knew at that point that she was an alcoholic, but to have this added to her plate had to be difficult.

But to all of our surprise, her sexual activity actually increased into higher rates AFTER the diagnosis… which is insanity!

She made company with unsavory people. More alcoholics and drug abusers. And kept the company for more time than the rules of her lease would allow.

Relationships with the rest of us declined. Particularly her next door neighbors.

After that, nobody wanted her around anymore. Not just because of that, but I think that deep down they wanted her to get help. She simply refused to seek it for herself.

Before any of us knew it, there were tons of people on our property that simply didn’t belong here. They were loud, obnoxious and unruly at night, causing problems with noises. The police constantly being called to her apartment. It got so much worse. And now with the news of her being told to leave in the next month, we are hoping that there is a silver lining to the dark clouds that this woman brought along with her.

She’s hit up everyone who lives here for money. And still owes everyone back. Including me.

Many of the neighbors just couldn’t understand how she could get away with what she was doing. But most recently, some of this woman’s visitors came here and parked in a weird place to the point that the vehicle blocked any ramp or access to the sidewalk. And unfortunately someone else was needing emergency medical help and they were blocked off and had to take an alternate route to get to them.

I think that was the last straw.

Most are talking about throwing a party when she leaves. I’m not on board with that kind of thinking. I am just hoping and praying that #1- this woman actually gets help and #2- that the person who moves in after her won’t be worse than she is.

We’ve had that issue before. Someone leaving and then having someone else move in and they were worse than the first person that moved out. I hope that this won’t happen.

But for now… DING! DONG! THE WENCH IS DEAD!!! And everyone is singing along. Figuratively.

 

Twenty-Five Years

I never would have thought that this day would come. 

I didn’t ever think that it would. But it has. And I definitely never would have been able to tell you so many years ago what I thought it would be like.

Twenty-five years ago on this day, I lost my mother to cancer. In my mind it is rather difficult to believe that it has been that long.

Sad to say that some of my memories of my mother when she was with us are starting to turn into shades of grey and white. But not all of them. I will sometimes remember certain times growing up when she was not sick.

Nevertheless, this was “the day”.

Each of member of my family remembers it in their own special way. Perhaps they don’t remember all of the finer details of that day, but we all do remember.

I wrote about it in my blog one year ago. If you care to read it, you can find it here:

https://dambreaker.wordpress.com/2011/07/25/mother/

I can still hear the voice of my mother yelling at me until it cracked. Usually that meant that I was in big trouble. And ironically it is that yelling voice in my head that comforts me to a point. Although the mental image in my head of what my mother looked like is almost gone. I personally do not own any photographs of her when she was still with us. Other members of my family however do have some photographs.

Last night, I remember feeling very cold. And there honestly wasn’t any reason for me to be that cold. That was a bit strange. But I guess that one could argue that the cold feeling that surrounded me was my mother wrapping me in her arms. Others probably wouldn’t see it that way at all.

Then I had a particular memory of seeing a photograph of my mother standing by the sliding glass door. There were no lights on and she was in her night gown. Her hair slowly starting to come back after all of the chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Half of her body was in a bright light from the natural light that  came through the glass, and the other half of her body was as dark as the rest of the house. The family dog laying at her feet, staring out through the glass door as my mother was. It was taken a few years before she would pass away. When I remembered that photograph, I cried.

Everyone handles death and grieving differently. Some cry, some weep. I tend to be the one that talks about it, over and over again.

And yet through all of the sadness and tears, I must always remember that my mother was someone who loved her children. That includes me.

There are some children in this world who have parents that don’t bother to care. I’m fortunate enough to have had a mother who did love her children very much. Even though among my two brothers and sister, we always seem to have stories or memories of our mother beating our asses when we did something wrong. Of course that is grossly an exaggeration. She did love us enough to let us have it and discipline us when we did something wrong. And now when it is talked about, we laugh… even though back then, I’m sure we all cried our eyes out when we got punished.

Today is no difference in the matters of difficulty than any other year that has passed. But I think that what I CAN remember is something that I can hold on to and nobody can take it away. I still miss my mother and I love her. It just feels strange to say that she has been gone for so long.

 

 

 

 

Dark Shadows

“Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead. “~ Les Brown

 

My heart bleeds for vampire film lovers across the world.

 

The re-make of the beloved gothic soap opera made for a film “Dark Shadows” comes out in May. It is by Tim Burton and stars Johnny Depp as “Barnabas Collins”.

 

When I heard the news about a new “Dark Shadows” film, I was thrilled to death. When I heard that Johnny Depp was taking the lead role, I began to get nervous. And now that I’ve seen trailers for this new film… I weep heavily.

 

This film is going to take on its own life. I have high doubts that much of anything from the classic television series will be taken into account. And from what I’ve seen so far, it comes across more as a “dark comedy”. 

 

That bothers me because the original series of “Dark Shadows” was anything but funny. Plus from the trailer that I watched, seems to have a lot of sexual content in it.

 

It will be what it will be, but that still bothers me that it appears that when they made this film, that they held nothing sacred. I pray that I’m wrong!!!

 

I can remember the re-birth of “Dark Shadows” as a television series when Ben Cross played as Barnabas Collins. I got into it back, but it was pulled. Looking back now, I can see why. Even though I was disappointed that they took it off the air.

 

So I really don’t know what to do or say about this film. It looks terrible though.

 

Vampire film lovers, I wonder what they will think. Although it is safe to say that 102% of the female population and film lovers will go purely for the eye candy that is Johnny Depp.

 

Such high hopes I had for this film. I’m not sure if I will go see it or not when it opens in theaters. I just know that I am extremely disappointed in what I have seen so far.

 

But then again, we are talking about Tim Burton here. Say what you will, but Burton will always re-create beloved classics and turn them into epic acid trips.

 

“Chocolate Factory”, “Alice In Wonderland”, and now… “Dark Shadows”!! (Needless to say, all films re-done by Tim Burton, and all starring Johnny Depp.)

 

As a fellow lover of vampire films, I can only hope and pray that there is enough folklore and tradition in this film, as well as having the Burton touch to it.

 

Ladies, boo me all you want. We’ll see!!

 

Hollywood, as a whole though has right now a terrible reputation for taking older films and trying to re-make them, and failing miserably. Horror films that were extremely popular in the 1980’s were given re-makes and every last one of them flopped like a fish out of water. Hollywood doesn’t know how to come up with any original ideas any more.

 

Until then, I’ll support the original soap opera series and stick with its stories and legend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Accentuate The Negative

“I have noticed that it’s easy to find things to complain about but training my thoughts to be grateful even when things aren’t going my way takes effort and faith. Sometimes conflict is inspiring. I think it helps us in some ways… IF we don’t let it drive us crazy or crush us.” ~ Jessica Trapp

 

You know what? After having a brief conversation with her today and hearing her opinion on it, I agree with her. It is so simple to slip down into the clutches of being negative and live in it when things in life are not going our way.

 

Human nature has a way to draw us towards the negativity like a magnet. And what is even worse, is the fact that others around us are also drawn into our negativity. So what does that prove? That you are very capable of dragging other people down with you when you don’t need to be doing it at all.

 

Life is full of surprises. Some great, some not so great. Our minds are not trained to focus on the wonderful things but rather we find this wonky comfort in swimming in our own filth. And then the more the merrier. Why? Because now you don’t feel so alone. All eyes on you!

 

What is it about being sad that makes us just wanna scream at the world, only to hear our own voices and to sit in hope that someone will come and rescue us? Or if they are unable to rescue us… then you have their attention and you think that gives you the master opportunity to spread it all over the place and eventually pulling people down into your sadness.

 

There are some people in the world that have experiences that are none other than horribly negative. Their minds are trained that since their life is the pits, then that is the way that they must live. Miserable and sad. It is all a part of conditioning of the mind. These are the kinds of people that will NEVER be happy in life. No matter what happens to them, their minds are controlled to automatically find the worst parts of it and believe that is the core reason as to why things are happening.

 

But for those of us who have experienced happiness and joy before, there is hope. There is not a single person on this planet living today that has gone through life 100% totally happy. Everyone experiences the bad as well as the good. So then, what are you going to do about it when the bad comes in your life?

 

I have seen so many times where people are going through bad days and they just go on and on and on about how bad it is. What happens? Their friends and colleagues come crawling from the dark spaces to run over to them to offer whatever they can: A shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, hugs and kisses even.

 

And I am not saying that these people are bad for offering that extra support and friendliness towards those who are down. But its those who are in a constant state of negativity that cause the problem.

 

Even I get down once in a while. I’m single and lonely, VERY lonely. I haven’t even had a hug or a kiss that was not a greeting or a farewell gesture in over two years. But nobody hears about it. (Well… until just now because you just read about it.) But my point is that even though I do think about how it stinks to be lonely, I don’t go crying about it in front of other people ALL OF THE TIME! And so I focus on those things that have been able to keep me happy these past few months.

 

You tell me that your dog ran away, and that you are sad. Well, I am genuinely sorry to hear that your dog is gone. However, why don’t you go and do something about it? Go look for your dog. Or if you cannot find your dog, get a new one.

 

You just cannot allow your negative emotions drive you insane. It is very difficult and challenging, but a person must learn to condition their minds to focus more on the positive and less on the negative. As far as any social setting is concerned, who wants to be around someone who is so down and negative all of the time? I certainly do not know of anyone like that.

 

If we were able to concentrate on the things that help make us happy, then we are more likely to share in those moments with others, and that too is the same type of influence that we have on another person. You come to them positively, they react positively. You come to them full of negativity, their response will be negative as well.

 

There’s only so much that I personally can do for others. I will listen to them of course. I will offer advice some times too. But believe in me when I say, “After a while, it gets really old. And I just don’t wanna deal with it any more.”

 

Yes sure, you’ll get those people who “wanna help”. You’ll  capture their attention. But it won’t last. People are more accepting of an attitude that is happy and healthy than an attitude of sadness and bitterness. They’ll stick around longer.

 

So instead of focusing on the bad, think about what goodness you have in your heart and in your life. Aim towards fixing what is wrong and keep a better attitude in general. Your true friends will come around more, instead of when you “cry wolf”. And they will be more likely to want to stay.

 

Try and then try harder to condition yourself and your mind to a different way of thinking. Your mental health will thank you in the end.