What Happened To Good Old Fashioned Truth?

“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”~ Buddha

The Truth. Where did it go? Has anybody seen it? Does anyone speak it? And why all of a sudden are MEN coming to me, during this short time period of a post-Valentine’s Day???

Women: You’re severely dropping the ball here!!

In the past five days alone, two men have sat there, afraid that they were about to lose their masculinity because they cried on my shoulder. Why? Because women, of all people, have not been telling them the truth.

Male victim #1 came rushing after being what he called “blind-sided” by a woman that he had been chasing for the past year. She said to him that she was unavailable for dating until she got her feet on the ground and her life turned around in a better and more positive direction. She had in the past been going through some hardships and it was because of her own choices. He didn’t push as hard but he kept himself in her circles so that she would not forget about him. And apparently he would be a little flirty and what not just to keep the lines of interest open. He was expected to “wait out the storm” for about a year to a year and a half. And somewhere in the middle of that time period, he was being flirty to the one he liked and she came back with “I don’t think that my boyfriend would like that too much.”

When he asked how long that she had been dating… her answer would literally turn his stomach into knots to the point where he was literally crying in my presence. Holding his stomach, and getting the dry heaves.

Male victim #2 had a similar case of the fibs. His “dream girl” told him to wait for her too. Different situation and different reasons why to wait. Until he too came by very recently, drunk as a skunk and cussing like a sailor because of his anger and frustration over the fact that there are rumors that the woman he had waited for had been involved with another man the entire time.  The only difference is that victim #2 is battling rumors and has no way of finding out for sure whether or not what he’s been told is truthful or not.

Until the stress from the situation got him to a dark place. So he had no choice but to confront and ask. And of course, his dream girl denies everything…. but in his eyes he felt something was wrong. The next morning, the dream girl changed her Facebook relationship status to “in a relationship with ________” and it wasn’t his name.

I’ve been where victim #1 has been. I’ve personally been there once before. It was not fun at all. In fact, it was torture. On the odd side of things it did make it easier for me to just walk away from her. That was the unusual part.

So here’s the question: Why not tell the truth from the beginning? Who cares about whether or not you are afraid its going to hurt someone, would you rather hurt them with the truth than KILL them with lies?

Two things are going to happen in this arena when it comes to lies and deception:

#1- Once a person believes in a lie, they are going to live their life as if that lie is the truth because they are not going to think or believe that the reality is any other way. And that’s going to cause the liar to have to keep up and remember all the lies they’ve told … just to keep the lies going.  So once the lie is exposed, depending on how much time has gone by and how much that person who was lied to, believed in it…. will determine how much damage there’s to come of this. Again, why lie when you just hurt someone’s feelings and be done with it? Because feelings will heal and we will move on. Becoming damaged on the other hand, is totally different.

#2- No matter what you say, no matter what you do. Lies will ALWAYS be revealed. Truth trumps lies!! It doesn’t matter what you do or what you say…. in time (or I should say IN ITS OWN TIME) the lies will unravel and your deception will be in the spotlight. And you’ll have nothing left to hide behind but your own sadness. Not because of guilt but because you got caught. Just telling someone a bunch of crap because that’s what you think that the other person wants is not being so honest. And quite frankly if you have been lying, you deserve the reaction and consequence that will come forth.

WHY HAVE WE STOPPED TELLING THE TRUTH TO ONE ANOTHER?? Especially when it comes to relationships and how we treat one another. Telling the truth might be a new concept in 2014, but good grief!! That’s the way it used to be. So, why not go back from where we came?

We as human being needs to do one another right.

 

Full Spectrum: Part I- Celebrating A Life

Dr. & Mrs. Froth

“Don’t tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.”~ George S. Patton

I was going to call this post “Surprise,  Surprise” but in the next blog that is upcoming, you’ll understand why I have taken this and broken it down into two parts.

However, I did something that was totally not all that characteristic of what I do but I was totally glad that I did it. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOO WORTH IT!!!!!

Dr. and Mrs. Froth are expecting a son in January 2014.

This past weekend, was a shindig AND a hooten-nanny all in one. But this was more for Dr. Froth than it was for Mrs. Froth. A little different, hey… a party is a party, right?!?

So in my usual communication ritual with Mrs. Froth, I had begun to feel absolutely worthless based on the fact that I didn’t think that I could pull it off.

But then something that I’m not quite sure that I should be calling a miracle happened.

I was GIVEN the money to go ahead and attend this party. So then I got with the hostess and the so-called coordinator and said that I was coming. But it was agreed upon that my attendance at this party would be kept a secret until I just simply showed up.

That’s exactly what I did. For a guest list that did RSVP close to 30 people in one house for a party, besides myself there were only three others that knew I was coming. Everyone else took in the surprise ……. including Dr. & Mrs. Froth.

When I arrived, the looks on the Froth faces were absolutely perfect, not to mention priceless. I’ve never seen a woman seven months pregnant move so fast with such gusto and excitement in order to greet me.

Everyone who knew who I was, which was a majority, was totally blown away that I was there.

I was able to be with my friends and celebrate this expected child of Froth. I believe that the child is referred to as the Spawn.

Food, great company, lots of laughs, a few tears when it was over and I was heading home. But damned well worth the secrecy.

I’ve never been good with those kinds of secrets. I’ve always broken down and told someone which ruined the surprise in some fashion. But this time, I was able to pull it off and probably earn myself Friend of the Year Award. Yep, it was that important to Dr. & Mrs. Froth that I was there to share with them. Even though they had no clue that I was coming and several times of being told that they wished I could be there.

Be careful for what you wish for! Just saying……

A little different as we were not out all hours of the night as we normally would be if I was in town for a show. I was able to reach the hotel and get something they call sleep. Or rest.

I woke up early still, so I watched more re-runs of “Married With Children” just like I had three weeks ago when I was there last. Then I hopped on the bus and almost the entire trip had to listen to some stupid group of people argue over the Twilight movie franchise and its characters and what they can and cannot do …………. sexually!!!

Really? First world problems are whether or not vampires can bang each other????

Thankfully I had the sense to bring along the new album of SIX MINUTE CENTURY with me and drown those bastards out!

Yet the party was so much fun. I got to go into the “forbidden” rehearsal room of WELL OF SOULS while they were practicing and listen for a bit. Apparently wives/girlfriends aren’t even allowed in there, and some how I got through. But I think I am beginning to stamp my VIP pass a little too hard because I did receive the stink eye from a lot of people.

I still had fun surprising everyone there at the party. That was truly a blast to have been able to accomplish it. Even though I was so tempted to tease The family of Froth with text messages while I was waiting to be picked up to go to the party.

And you know what? I’d do it again all over again if I had to!!!

So when that time comes, I’ll be back again soon to see this wonderment of child.

And even TODAY, the 11th of November, is their wedding anniversary. So HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!

 

Secrets Of World War II

“Settle matters quickly.”~ Winston Churchill 

I found this story rather intriguing and interesting. I had never heard about it before until yesterday. And that is the story of what was called Operation: Catapult which happened early during the second world war.

The Germans were marching across Europe seizing nation after nation. France was soon to be under attack by the invading Nazi forces.

This caused great concern for the British Empire. They feared that because of the fact that the United States had not entered the war, that if the French were to have fallen into the hands of the enemy, that Great Britain would most certainly become next. Winston Churchill was convinced that if the French forces were to be taken by the enemy, that Britain too would fall and the war would be lost.

In 1940, after the Fall of France and the armistice between France and Nazi Germany, Great Britain became concerned about the possibility that the Germans would acquire control of the French fleet. The combined French and German naval forces would mean that the balance of power at sea might tip in Germany’s favor.

The British government feared the possibility despite the fact that the Armistice terms at Article 8 paragraph 2 stated that the German government “solemnly and firmly declared that it had no intention of making demands regarding the French fleet during the peace negotiations” and similar terms existed in the armistice with Italy.

Furthermore, on 24th of June, Admiral Darlan had given assurances to Churchill against such a possibility (a later German attempt, made in violation of the Armistice terms, resulted in the French fleet scuttling itself in Toulon in 1942). Winston Churchillordered that the French Navy (Marine Nationale) should either join forces with the British Royal Navy or be disabled in some way to prevent the ships from falling into German or Italian hands.

The French fleet was widely dispersed. Some vessels were in port in France; others had escaped from France to British-controlled ports, mainly in Britain and Alexandria, Egypt. Operation Catapult was to take the French ships into British control or destroy them.

What would happen would be chaos.

In the first stage, the French ships in the British ports of Plymouth and Portsmouth were simply boarded on the night of 3rd of July in 1940. On the largest submarine in the world, the Surcouf, which had sought refuge in Portsmouth in June 1940 following the German invasion of France, the crew resisted; two British officers and one seaman were killed. One French sailor was also killed. Other ships were then captured.

After several attempts from the British to take control over the French naval fleet, the French were given an ultimatum to surrender control to the British or be under fire. The French did nothing.

Off the coast of what was then known as French Algeria, at Mers-el-Kébir, the British naval forces actually fired upon their own allies in an effort to sink the resisting French naval fleet after the French denied the British to take control over the fleet.

The British under the guise of not wanting any French ships to be controlled by the Germans would continue concentrated fire power on the French vessels.

At the end of it all 1,297 French sailors lost their lives and 350 were injured. The French suffered the loss or damage of  eight ships in the attack. Only two British servicemen were lost on the other side of the fight, and six British aircraft were gone.

This would obviously cause a lot of pain and friction between the French and the British. The Germans actually had used the attack as propaganda against the British and its allies.

It has been also reported that Winston Churchill came up with this attack because he wanted to show the United States that the British Empire was serious in the efforts of fighting off the Germans to the very end. Churchill had begged the United States President Franklin Roosevelt to send the British some battleships. So depending on one’s point of view, it can be said that the British forces attacked their allies only to gain the support of the United States.

It would work because the United States would send warships to Great Britain. And then a year and a half later, the United States would enter the war after the attack on Pearl Harbor in December of 1941.

 

 

 

 

Being The Secret Casanova

“I have always been an admirer. I regard the gift of admiration as indispensable if one is to amount to something; I don’t know where I would be without it.”~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld 

For the second time in about a year and a half, I’ve been the object of someone’s secret admiration.

Oh the pressure!!

I had a note waiting on my front door last night. Expressing their deep and secret attraction to me. And throughout the night, I could not figure out on my own who this might have come from. I’ve been through it twice now.

However, I wouldn’t have to go and put on my Sherlock Holmes jacket because I had tossed the note aside last night and went to bed. When I showed my face this morning, a FEMALE came up to me and asked, “Did you get that note on your door last night?”

I think that I was feeling relieved as it could have been a man. But I got lucky, so to speak.

She gave herself away. However, in a weird and uncomfortable effort to not offend her, I told her that I had received no such note. I also reminded her that this was a “bad neighborhood” and even the residents here are quite in everyone’s business all of the time. So I explained that perhaps maybe someone took it so that they could know what was going on.

And yes I know, I probably should have confirmed it with her that she was the one. But because I told nobody about it… how would she know? And of course I know, I know… I should have told her that I was not interested. But the way I handled it was the way I handled it.  I will find the best way to tell her that I am not interested.

When she had left, I asked one of my neighbors if she had been talking about me a lot in recently in the past few days. And they had said that she had been. And that she would always smile and then get lost in her thoughts. That was also a clue for me to know that it was her.

So the secret was exposed. But the first time, it took much longer than overnight.

The last time I had a secret admirer write me a note, it took nearly two weeks to figure it out. I finally was able to when I was given a handwriting sample of a woman and I was able to match it.

But because of the language within the note, it had me guessing for a while. I had only told about four people about this first time, and I suppose it became a game for them (not for me) to see whether or not they could figure out the mystery and discover who it was.

Words like, “You are such an amazing man. You make me smile whenever you are in the room. I would ask you out, but I am from the old school and believe the man should ask me out, and I hope that you do one day. If not, I would love to be great friends.”

Certain words and phrases were clues as to who the person’s identity could have been. I had only two guesses of who it might have been. And of the initial two guesses, one of them was the right person. I even had gone up to her and teased about how it was HER that wrote the note. She was convincing when she was in full denial when I was accusing her of writing the note.

It had pieces of mint chocolate inside of an envelope inside of an envelope that was poorly sealed together.

But as I said, I finally figured out the person who had wrote it by comparing how the writing was similar. For the first person though, I never said a word to her. I never came up to her and said, “I KNOW you wrote the note. I know it was you.” No… I did not do anything. And I just laid low for about a week and kept quiet about it. 

It was a resident who lives here who is about twenty years my senior.

Not only did I figure it out in about two weeks who it was. I also figured out why she had written the note in the first place.

For those of you who do not know me on a personally, I use terms of endearment frequently. I had started to use them with the residents here…. JUST to get them to smile. Because you never know around here, someone might be feeling bad and sick or having a bad day, and a smile actually would make it all better.

So at the time, I had been notorious for greeting someone, for example: “Good Morning, GORGEOUS!”.. yeah, totally notorious for it. And yes, it was Mission Accomplished because in the end, it made people smile. And some of them even laugh about it.

The woman who wrote the first note is more of a shut-in neighbor. And she began to crawl out of her shell. Without really knowing what her story was as to why she always stayed indoors, I just was doing the same thing whenever I saw her in the community room. At the time it was either “GORGEOUS” or “GOOD LOOKING”. I recall several times that she would cover her face in embarrassment and just smile.

I believe that because of how I was treating her and the unintentional flirty nature of my speech, she probably was seeing something in me that didn’t really exist.

But that was a long time ago. At least for me it was. And yes I laugh my head off about it now. In these two cases, I do not believe that I had/have anything to worry about. It was a harmless crush.

And because of note #2, it reminded me of note #1- so I decided to share a laugh with you, the reader about note #1.

This most recent note you might be wondering about? It was plain and simple:

“I think you are funny. Are you with anyone? Check YES or NO.

Seriously! It was one of “those kinds”. Even if I checked YES or NO, who the heck would I give it to? I have no idea. But when the woman came up to me the following morning and inquired, she exposed herself and I knew. It was someone’s care giver. And I’m just not into that kind of thing.

 

Don’t Tell Anyone!

“Nothing weighs on us so heavily as a secret.”~ Jean De La Fontaine

Whenever I am talking with someone, and the topic begins with “Don’t tell anyone I said this..”, or “You didn’t hear this from me”, it immediately sends up red flags.

There seems to be a lot of that floating around in this day and age. Everything seems to be a big secret.  And I am not 100% sure why that is or why it has to be.

These kinds of phrases seemed to be echoed over and over again, especially where I live. I find myself thrusted into the streets of “Peyton Place”, rather than having a decent conversation with another human being.

Through my experiences, it is not so much that the subject matter is a secret but rather it is the beginning of a conversation turning into gossip. And for those people who are trying to initiate the gossip only use those kinds of words and phrases to cover their own butts, so it doesn’t seem like they are such a bad person for beginning to gossip in the firs place.

These words trigger my defenses so quickly that it has become more or less, an automatic response. I KNOW that whatever is about to follow is either not true, partially true, or simply unnecessary to be discussed.

Yet society does have its own secrets. I tend to believe that a lot of things that I am told “in secrecy”, is only a test to see if I have the capability to keep my mouth shut. So when I hear about someone not quitting their job, or someone just found she was pregnant, or something like that, then it becomes a test of whether or not I can keep this information to myself.

The joke is on them though. Not everyone on this planet knows how to separate secrets from gossip. Mainly because they LOVE to gossip themselves. So then whenever I am tol something in secrecy like this, and the words get out anyway… there’s no way that it can be pinned on me. Try as they might.

Trust me, with the fact that a majority of my neighbors are of the elderly class… all they have time for any more, is gossip and talk. I get to hear everyone’s dirty little secrets. The interesting fact is that I get to hear these kinds of stories over and over again because they believe I am the innocent party and I have not been given such information that they feel it necessary that I should have it. But then turn around with their personal disclaimer of how it should not be repeated when the truth is that by the time you have told me, its been repeated to me four or five times by then.

Besides all of that, whatever happened to common sense? Where did it go that people absolutely MUST tell you NOT to repeat what they are telling you?? Its not in my job description for me to inform other neighbors, friends, or family members if your niece is in the hospital with a broken leg because she was stupid enough to jump off the roof of her house. If you want to share that with someone, then by all means YOU DO IT!

You shouldn’t have to pre-warn me not to repeat anything you’ve just told me.

Some information is meant to be shared. Other information is not. But don’t put me in that position where everything that comes out of your mouth has to be vaulted and sealed. Mainly because I am just going to believe that whatever you just said, probably isn’t all that true to begin with.

It makes sense to me that if you are talking to me in public, with people walking around that whatever it is you are telling me, just common talk. But if you and I are talking on a one-on-one situation, chances are that its personal conversation and I KNOW BETTER not to be spreading it around. And you won’t have me to blame when it does come out and you feel betrayed. You’ll just have to look to whomever else you told that held that same conversation with to see who it was that blabbed their tongues.

And they wonder why I don’t get out as much anymore?!?