Posts Tagged ‘sorry’

275_Hurt Feelings_Jackie

There I was the other evening, having to contact someone that I hadn’t spoken to in over a year and that was by my own choice.

Nothing that I was overly proud of doing, since knowing that the person I had to contact had thrown me under the bus, then ran me over with a series of army tanks. But I was able to keep my composure until the very end and separate the point of my communication with them from my own deep hurt personal feelings.

When it had seemed that the business side of things was over, I slipped out of my mouth my curiosity if ever I and that person would ever be friends again.

And I remember feeling not all that sincere when I had asked. Still feeling or at least remembering the ragging burn that I experienced from their grand deception.

But they sensed something wrong. I mean after all, I hadn’t spoken to them in well over a year. And then they literally had the balls to ask if I felt that they had done or said something to wrong me.

I don’t feel that you did, I know you did!!!!!

A series of apologies came sprouting from their lips like the Bellagio Fountains of Las Vegas.

The first apology being:

Whatever it is that I did or said, I apologize. 

Umm, excuse me?!?!?????

That right there, is NOT an apology. That is a CYA.

That is “Oh shit. I did something wrong but have no idea what it is but I will apologize just to get this person to shut up.” 

Really people??

Sometimes the apology is just about as fake as the people who give them. The actually took no responsibility for their actions. Probably because they didn’t see any bad or negative actions.

They clearly had no idea to what I was talking about. And that told me that their dumb actions from long ago that I felt were wrong, they didn’t think that they had done anything wrong.

This actually caused the opposite reaction to happen. Instead of calming my doubts, my fears, my insecurities, and my questions… it re-fueled the anger and re-lit the flames that were once dead. Actually dead but then brought back to life.

The next thing that I knew, was them asking if sex would be something that they could do in order to make things better. Uhh. NO!!!!!

It was honestly no surprise to me that they were more than willing to talk about something else and change the topic as fast as possible. I could’ve talked about the most disgusting things on the planet, and they would have been more willing to discuss it than their faults that they had yet to atone for.

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I could categorize it as “If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all.” but I do not think that fits this situation. What I do think is that this pre-emptive apology was quickly delivered so that they could gain something. Probably my forgiveness or probably just me shutting up about it and letting it go. But that didn’t work.

I’ve ceased communications again. And it appears as if there will no longer be any, for the rest of days.

I don’t get how people can think to apologize without knowing what they are doing it for. Or it might be that I do not understand how they think others will or should accept an empty sorry.

Sometimes I feel like these people should forfeit living on this planet. But then again, I am not the one to judge that.

So the next time someone is confronting you with an issue and you don’t know what they are talking about, ask them. More than likely since they gathered the courage already to talk to you about it… they will tell you.

Stop making empty promises of sorry and apologies. Act and be mature. Admit your mistake when you make one. Be sincere with others if you want them to be sincere with you.

 

“An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.” ~Lynn Johnston

An apology is define as “an expression of sympathy, pity, or regret.”

We can be sorry to find the news that someone is having a rough time. We also can be sorry to know that the person’s negative situation has become worse. But we can also be sorry because we have feelings of regret from what we have said or done.

In the English language, an apology can be expressed by using just two words: “I’m sorry.” It doesn’t take a lot of breath and it doesn’t take a lot of time to express. Two words. More and more I am finding that the English language can be used to say so much by saying so very little.

Situations happen in life to where we must apologize to another person. Or that they must apologize to us because of some kind of circumstance in which that person had done wrong. And a lot of what was previously broken can be fixed by simply offering that expression of regret. Yet it is only half of the link because the person receiving the apology must be willing to forgive and forget.

No matter what we do in life, we’re going to make mistakes. We’re all human and full of fallacies. Once we realize that what we have done or what we have said was wrong, that feeling of shame and regret swallows us whole to the point where we feel that because of what happened, the world has now become totally FUBAR.

Once we apologize though, we get that feeling of the weight being lifted off of us and we begin to heal and feel better. Then all can be right in the world once more. All it takes, is two spoken words.

I’ve done my share of wretched and stupid things. I’ve said things that I shouldn’t have and done things that should not have been done. And I have also felt that regret. When I do, it feels like the biggest and darkest suffocating cloud is surrounding me until I am able to offer an apology in which I had done wrong. Whether or not they tell me that it is forgiven, is their choice but I know that I have expressed my remorse for my words & actions and expressed to them that I am acknowledging what was done was wrong towards them.

There’s a lot of situations in this world that can be solved as well as healed with an apology. Someone must have the strength to say it though. Too many people are at war with one another and they don’t have to be, if only one of them would say they were sorry. And this is not to say who to point the blame to either. When the olive branch is extended, it should be treated as such- no matter who was at fault.

There are some people that have done wrong to me. And I know that if they were to just come to me and say that they were sorry, then the relationship can begin to heal.

So think about it when you’re so angry and pissed off because something happened that went really bad for you. Could the situation be solved with an apology? If you think so, then do it!

Showing or expressing regret is often necessary. A lot of people just don’t know how to do that. And that in and of itself is a shame. Nonetheless, often an apology is just the right thing to say and do in many situations in life where two or more people are fighting so much that their relationships are being torn apart because they focus more on their anger, wrath, and revenge rather than admitting their guilt and remorse.