Life Since 10/17/2018

Well hello Dambreaker Nation!!

I am finally able to return to a keyboard and computer where I am able to write this to you.

There’s plenty to talk about. So let’s start at the beginning, which is the 17th of October in 2018.

The attached image was taken from my cell phone on that day around approximately 4:00 in the morning on the 17th.  My apartment building was on fire.

I was awakened by the sounds of someone screaming “Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!…” over and over again.

The first thing that I remember was that I could smell smoke. But I did not identify it s such. I thought that one of the neighbors was burning incense or something and it got out of hand. But that didn’t make sense at 4:00 in the morning.

As I opened my eyes, my window was just filled with a bright orange glow. Something was in fact, on fire.

I got up and went to the window and looked out, expecting to see the apartments on the other side of the fence burning. But I saw nothing but darkness. Then I looked up above and saw more of the orange glow. The neighboring building was not on fire…. I WAS ON FIRE.

I ran for my desk and quickly had to make a decision on what was most important and vital for me to take with me. Keys, wallet, cell phone, rings, cash, coins, etc. Thankfully these items were all in the same spot.

My wheelchair did not have the foot rests attached so I reached for them in the dark, the smell of smoke was becoming more and more apparent.

But I could not see in the dark what I was doing. My next thought was to quickly turn on the light to see. However, as I turned I noticed another bright glow from the ceiling inside of the air conditioning vent. Inside the vent in the ceiling was in flames.

It was at that point that I had decided to abandon everything else and get the hell out before something serious happened.

As I approached the front door, I felt around to see if it was hot. When I realized it was safe to exit, I opened the door slowly and was met by much more fire and smoke. Once I opened the door, I went as fast as I could to get away from the building. And in the process of it all, I felt and heard snapping noises from beneath my wheelchair.

The frame broke.

The neighbors began to pour out onto the sidewalks and I noticed that it was starting to rain. I thought to myself: “Great! From fire to water!!”

The fire department and the police department was swarming all over the property. A police officer made the suggestion that we leave the area because the smoke was about to get worse.

A school bus was sent to pick up the neighbors and I and take us to a local high school gymnasium in order for us to get away from the area and out of the rain.

There are eight apartment units in each building here at SGC. With the exception of two buildings. In the building where I was, there was one unit vacant due to a move out, leaving seven residents living in that building. Four people with walkers and three wheelchairs.

ALL SEVEN OF US GOT OUT WITHOUT INJURY!

The displaced sat inside that gymnasium for just under an hour before they brought us back to the property and placed us inside of the community building where the offices are. It was a mad house but at least we were back.

The apartment manager made some phone calls for those of us who were displaced. My sister and brother were called.

Within the next hour, my sister arrived to SGC. She was ready and willing to help out with the immediate needs. By then I was mentally gone.

I remained inside the community building with only one thought running in my head, “I need a place to stay. How the hell am I going to pay for it??”

The American Red Cross was there and they gave some aid to the displaced. It was not a lot, but it was more than what I had before now that I had lost everything to the fire.

I am thankful for my sister and her efforts to help me. Especially during those first few days. She and her son was in a fender bender the month before and it seemed like their situation was just as bad in their declined health. But she came out to help me.

My brother in Georgia jumped into action as well. Making phone calls and talking with connections to see if he could help in some way.

By the end of the day on the 17th, I still had no idea where I was going to go. The apartment complex just kept asking if I found a place to stay. And I just had to ask them for help.

I was going to use the funds that were donated by the American Red Cross for a hotel for the night, but after that I had no idea where I was going to end up. The social worker found a hotel and tried to use the funds but it was refused. So the apartment complex used a corporate card and paid for the first night of hotel. My brother paid for a second night. It is the one and only time that management paid for a room.

My sister taught me how to connect the Wi-Fi to my cell phone. Thankfully it has been free. So it is a struggling and learning process to figure out how to remain on the Internet with a cell phone.

Nobody who was displaced had insurance. The fire was determined to be an electrical problem in the roof.

During the day, I had people reaching out to me asking questions and what not. And one of the local bands here in Austin, whom I cherish and love so much, created a GoFundMe account. And it was shared around the Internet those first few days.

Those first few days were brutal. But today, is just a memory of hardship. I stayed in the hotel for a few more days after that. But after paying over $325 (before taxes) for just three nights, I knew that I needed to find some place else to stay.

The GoFundMe account has really saved me. I am so thankful for each and every person who decided to donate.

I left the hotel and my sister and I went hunting for something more affordable. Something that I could do from week to week. We went all over Austin and couldn’t find much.

After a reservation finally was made, we went to the front lobby and immediately was met by a woman who said that they had NO ground floor rooms available and there was no elevator on the property.

But eventually, we found a place to stay which had much more room and was on the ground floor. And I have been there since. And I will remain there.

In the meantime, my sister has given me help in transportation so I could find a more permanent place to stay. I have applied everywhere in Austin. But it is all the same. There is a waiting list. And those lists are usually six months up to three years.

Eventually I was told that there was a place willing to open their doors to those of us still displaced. However there is a massive pile of red tape and paperwork ahead and I just don’t have any idea when this opportunity is going to open up.

It would be nice as far as the social life is concerned as it is only about a mile away from the downtown area. And I could stay there until SGC rebuilds. The word on the street is “six months” but nobody believes that time frame. Everyone has their own theory that the rebuild will take about a year.

In the meantime on the day that I am writing this. It has been 34 days since the fire. I’ve been blessed to be able to get out of the hotel and still see live music. However taxis are super expensive. So I have to really pick and choose who I want to see.

I find it necessary to go because of my own mental state, which is shot by now. So it provides me with a distraction from this awful situation. AND…… it is important that others see me at their shows, so that they know that I am still alive and unharmed.

But I can’t afford to go to every show that I had originally put on the calendar to attend before the fire.

This morning I jumped on a city bus and returned to SGC because they are having a Thanksgiving meal. This is usually the only opportunity that I have to do something for the holiday. Usually November and December holidays are just another day.

So I arrived early and had some coffee, spoke to some of the neighbors, and sure enough the gossiping still thrives around here! As if I should have been expecting that.

Today, Day 34 since the fire, I have learned that out of the seven people who are displaced. Two people have left the area and found a place to live. Three people remain to displaced (including myself).

And to my surprise the remaining two residents displaced have been moved into other apartment units that were vacant at the time of the fire.

I am pissed!

Like…. SUPER pissed off!! But I am trying to hold it together because I don’t know just how these two residents were selected to stay here and how the others were left to fend for themselves. I don’t know and I don’t get it. And that is frustrating. Why them and not me? And so on.

While I am back in the neighborhood, I’ll stop by the stores and markets to help myself out as much as I can.

But because there’s no ending in sight, it is a massive struggle so I have included the GoFundMe page below. I hope that the URL works.

I only ask that if you cannot donate that you share the campaign as much as possible. This campaign is the only thing that is keeping me afloat. Nobody else is giving aid. I fear that because nobody wants to talk or give answers as to what’s going on in the near future, that if those funds run out that I will be in deep trouble.

The GoFundMe account is keeping a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in. And sometimes food in my stomach.

Not knowing is the worst part. I have to have faith that the light at the end of the tunnel will soon be brighter. I’m doing my best to stay living in Austin, Texas for the time being until this situation gets corrected.

I know that this will come to an end eventually. However once I get out of the hotel and into a place more long term, I’m going in there with literally NOTHING. And I am going to have to start over again.

It still is true today since I started saying it on day one. I am not in any position to say no to anyone who wishes to help.

 

GoFundMe Campaign

PayPal: send funds to the e-mail address:
joelhaskell@hotmail.com

 

Your Laugh Of The Day

“I’ve put up with more humiliation than I care to remember.”~ B.B. King

I am going to tell you this story before I start digging a hole in the ground to hide in for the next week or so.

Life is filled with joy and it is filled with lots of humiliation.

This is a story of the latter.

This morning, I was hunting for some change. And finally I pinned down the apartment manager only to find out that he had no change. In total frustration, I started to spew. And the apartment manager started to spew back.

And then I heard and saw someone walk out the front door away from the office doors. I was curious because I thought I saw someone leaving that I had not seen in probably well over a year, possibly two by now.

I asked the apartment manager if I just saw who I thought I saw and his answer was “Probably.”

I tore out of his office like a lightning bolt, hoping that the person I was chasing was in no hurry to get into their vehicle and leave.

When I got outside, I saw her by the gates and I waited for a second before whistling at her.

And yeah I know, someone’s going to have a problem with that. But this is someone I’ve known for years and years and years and I know that once she saw that it was me that was whistling, she’d just giggle it off.

But whistled LOUD and PROUD. I was definitely making a bold statement to get her attention.

Then I waited for her to turn around and look in my direction.

IT WAS THE WRONG WOMAN!!!!!! 

Ohhh, what have I done? What have I done? The wave of shock and humiliation warmed over me like a cloud of death.

The strange woman looked in my direction and then proceeded on her way. She did nothing, she said nothing. And that was the end of it as I scrambled to turn around and go back inside of the office building.

She could have yelled and screamed and chewed me out. And I would have deserved every last bit of it, but she went away.

And now I sit here and think of all the different times I saw someone with long hair flowing down their back, only to find out that it was man. And that has happened more times than I want to admit.

Similar situation here.

I know that I am not the only one that has gone through this, but it is still humiliating nonetheless.

My Monday is starting out to be embarrassing. How’s your Monday????

Dumbass Award for October 2013

“We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.”~Benjamin Franklin

I am astonished at how many times this Award has been given, according to this blog. You have no idea how much restraint I have to have before I give it, but this one was a No Brainer!!!!!

A teenage babysitter has been charged with endangering a child after the 5-year-old boy she was supposed to be watching accidentally shot himself with a gun she’d left on a coffee table.

Melissa Ann Ringhardt, 19, of Vidor, Texas, was arrested Tuesday and held in Orange County Jail on the felony charge, for which she could face six months to two years in prison.

According to authorities, Ringhardt fell asleep in a bedroom while babysiting for 5-year-old John Read and his 6-month-old sibling on Monday afternoon. She had left a .40-caliber handgun on a coffee table, and when she woke up, she discovered the child dead in the living room.

Since the home had no telephone, Ringhardt carried the 5-year-old and the infant to their grandparents’ home to call 911. The boy was declared dead when paramedics arrived. The infant was not injured.

The one thing that remains to be seen about this most ridiculous story is the rumor over whether or not Ringhardt was smoking marijuana and stoned, thus prompting her to take a nap and leave the child unattended.

It really just bothers me to pieces what had happened. And it was TOTALLY avoidable. This death did NOT need to happen!! Those of you who have children, probably can relate to this much more strongly than I can. Holy shit, this isn’t cool!!!! 

And she’s only up for a maximum jail term of a couple of years?? What’s wrong with this story??? She intentionally left something behind that she knew the child could harm himself with.

So congratulations, DUMB ASS!!!!!

 

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/23/justice/texas-babysitter-gun-death/

Scared To Death

“I’m obsessed with zombies. I like watching zombie movies and I read zombie books.”~ Kevin Bacon

When I heard about this story I was totally shocked and then on the other side of things I could do nothing but nod.

If it is true then it is terrible and tragic.  But since I heard about it by word of mouth then I do not know whether or not I am going to believe that it is.

As we come closer and closer to Halloween, everyone who celebrates are getting excited. And some of us are the kind of friend that will exploit the fears of other friends.

Such is the case that I heard most recently.

A group of friends were wanting to go visit a haunted house. But one of the friends had a really nasty fear. They didn’t like being scared and all of that. They didn’t watch horror films and they didn’t participate much in Halloween. The problem was that they just scare too easily.

Well the rest of the group were minus one, and they just didn’t feel right about it. They wanted to include their fear struck friend in their hijinks some how.

Rather than spending their money for admission to their favored haunted house, they decided to use the money to dress up with costumes and make-up and go scare their fearful friend at his home.

The group was described to go to the nines. They even learned how to be a zombie after hiring an instructor. So the group finally got ready with their scary outfits and had a few zombie actors tag along with them to go scare their friend.

They waited until after 11 PM at night and they came up to the house and started pounding on the front door and windows all around the house. 

Their friend was asleep when they arrived. When he heard all of the noises, he went into a panic. He reached under the bed and pulled out his loaded pistol and started screaming at the people to go away.

The zombie party continued to stay in character, until the first shots were fired through the bedroom window.

In his half-awake state, the victimized and pranked friend went ballistic and fired upon everyone who was banging against his house.

Even after the scary party realized what was going on and they fled for their lives and coming out of character, the guy charged out of his house and kept firing upon them.

It was never told whether or not anyone had died in this horrible incident. But I think it would be safe to say that someone got seriously hurt.

I’ve been searching and searching online for any story or article written about this. I have not been successful in finding anything. So, this could just be a Halloween story for fun. If that is the case… that’s messed up!!

I hope that everyone has a safe and fun Halloween, no matter how you celebrate it. Be mindful and respectful of other people, keep it clean folks.

 

 

Lacking In Literary Genius

 

“Just because someone hands you a S’more, does not mean that they’ve made it out of chocolate.”

In the stillness of this night, it feels as if my brain had caught fire. Perhaps it is just the after burn of all of today’s activities, perhaps its a fever. Either way, until this burning sensation leaves my head I know that I will not be able to sleep.

But to be honest, I know what the problem is. Self-criticism. And they’ve always said since the Dawn of Man that you are your own worst critic.

Over the past three days, I went back to my most recent writing project and attempted to connect the dots so to speak of what I have written already. I had taken a different approach when I began writing and now all that I have, is collection of pieces that need to be connected to this giant puzzle I have created.

I think that it does work in my favor that when I get burned out with writing that I put it aside for a while and then pick it back up again. And that’s what I have been doing. Yet I put it away many hours ago, after writing down certain parts of the story that I had come up with in my head from the very beginning. Some of the pieces now are starting to fit but I have a very long way to go. I know that one day, it will be complete and I will have something to be proud of.

These kind of writing projects are not as scatterbrained as… let’s say… this blog. I’m well known by now to throw randomness all over the place here. But with these projects, I’m a little more uniformed.

Or so I thought.

Especially over today and yesterday, I had built up on one of my main characters. At some point I describe just how rotten and terrible the character is. I spent many hours on describing how devious and deplorable the character is and even wrote in a scene of him doing what he does best which is being evil, uncaring, and unfeeling.

I felt that this action from the character needed to be portrayed to the reader to show just how nasty the sonofabitch really is. And to me, it seemed like it took forever to write it all down. And it was only one specific way in which to explain to the reader just how bad of a person the character is. It was honestly the only contribution I made towards the project yesterday.

I felt fine with it. I knew that it was a bit long and that I would have to edit and tweak it a little so I don’t bore the reader but as it was, I was okay with it. Knowing that I would go back eventually to help clean it up.

I even went as far as to pause for a while and look up helpful writing tips on how to work these situations out. A lot of what I found was extremely helpful. So it was all good.

This morning and this afternoon I worked on the story’s biggest dilemma. The pinnacle point in which everything comes to light and the characters must deal with the sudden and abrupt change and somehow overcome it, one way or another.

I did not finish that particular part of the story. I was distracted by other things and I didn’t have the time (or energy) to fully commit to what I was doing. And so I put it aside.

Now I just wanna throw it all out.

The whole thing about writing what the character was doing to be evil and show the true side to the reader is long, and now just seems unnecessary.

I am aware that authors and other writers often go through many edits. But I wonder how they handle the frustrations from time to time when everything seems like a brilliant idea in their minds but once they get it written down suddenly turns into crap? 

What has often boggled me is that my muse usually strikes when I am not able to sit down and write. Commonly when I am away from home or laying in bed. It’s always something like that. I suppose that what I have been told is true. I need to keep a notebook with me at all times. I was even told once to keep a notebook next to my bed so that I could write these things down when they come to me in the middle of the night.

I actually tried that. But I found myself writing in the notebook all night long and never getting any sleep. And when I finally got to sleep, I would wake up and NOT want to transfer the notes into the project.

I’m notorious like that when it comes to poetry writing.

As much as I have the inner desire to go back and just delete pages upon pages of the stuff that I wrote- knowing that “my time has been wasted”- I know that deep down, I do not have the desire to give up on the writing project entirely. I’ve kinda opened my mouth about it with too many people to do that. I’ve received a lot of “I can’t wait to read it” kind of responses. So in a sense, I do have something of an audience who is patiently waiting for me to finish.

I won’t say how long that will be. I never do. I still have OTHER writing projects that I haven’t touched in many years. And those were ideas that I was certain that I wanted to work on getting published. So who can say when this current one that I am working on will reach that point that I can share it with people so that they can read it.

 

 

A Lesson To Share

Tonight, I read the most intense, most descriptive, and most emotional blog post that I had ever read in my life. 

The blog post comes from Dr. Froth, author of the blog “Frothtonomy”. Better known by THIS blog as the bassist of SIX MINUTE CENTURY. Personally though, I call him the “Father of Dambreaker’s blog” as I have been reading his for quite some time now and by reading his blog, it had convinced me to start a blog of my own.

The post talks about one of the most personal and difficult times in his life.

I had briefly heard this story before. But never in such vivid detail. I have met him before in person. I’ve seen many of his shows, I’ve met his family, I’ve spent time with him inside of his home, and was even invited to his wedding last year.

I think that his recent post though, explores the one side of him that not a lot of people know. And not a lot of people would think that it would define or describe him, as those fans of SIX MINUTE CENTURY have become to know him as a strong-willed, crass, and profane. As well as extremely funny. That of which, can NOT be left out.

To have read his story would probably shock the pants off of some people, and leave other non-believers into a dizzy spell.

Like I said, I knew a little about this story as he told me face to face one day. And as I read and was able to fill in a lot of the blanks by reading this, I was overwhelmed with so much emotion and passion that I simply began a deluge of tears and crying that I could not control.

I had only read one-fourth of the story and I could feel my body tremble. So I began to read it out loud to myself in order to some how distract the rest of my body from doing what is natural and attempting to prevent the tears from coming.

It was unsuccessful.

However I could just imagine how difficult it may have been for him to have to re-live this part of his life in order to tell the story and share it on his own personal blog. Throughout the times reading and hearing my voice narrate, I had a visual sense of “being there” as the story progressed. Even though I knew what the ending was going to be.

But alas, I did not know. I was wrong. And no, I was never REALLY there.

Near the end, Dr. Froth presents a wonderful lesson that he had shared along with his story. And because I was able to get through to the end of the story, I found that message. I found that lesson. And it turned on the light bulb inside of my own head.

Message received.

As I finished up with the last few tears that I shed, in my heart I just have to believe that Dr. Froth know the love and respect that I have for him. Not only as a professional and a musician. But also as a human being and a friend.

I find that “Frothtonomy” has changed my life for good, for the second time. And I am most grateful for that. I cannot say that a lot of people (at least in the recent past) has been able to do that, and more than once!

So I share with you his blog post in the hopes that you too, can learn the lesson that is found within to make YOUR life greater.

http://millsap.wordpress.com/2012/06/28/the-harmoney-of-life/

 

 

Jaded Earth

I do not know whether or not this story is true. I could not find anything online about it. But whether or not it is true, it is a very interesting story. I was told this story not through e-mail, but by word of mouth. But since I thought it was interesting, I am going to share it with you.

There was a couple in California who were involved in an online, long distance relationship. Not the kind of long distance as you may think, like she was in California and he was in some place, like Ohio. The story says that they lived only a few hours away from one another. The distance was great enough to the point where they both would drive and meet at a central point in between them, thus making the drive almost equally as long for each other.

I guess I’ll name them, “Kelly” and “Jacob” as to not get things confused. Honestly, when I heard this story I was not told any names. It was difficult to follow.

So anyway, Kelly and Jacob had been seeing each other in this manner for quite some time. Their busy schedules did not permit either one of them to travel the entire distance to go see the other person at their homes. It was something they had adapted to and were content on doing.

After a while, Kelly had sent Jacob this nice little love package in the mail. Jacob was thrilled to the core as pondered everything with love in his heart for his girlfriend that she would take the time to do something so sentimental like this.

In his excitement, he took the return address and decided to look it up. He wanted to see what her house looked like, and the neighborhood. Anything to learn more about her and her surroundings because he was unable to do so himself. Plus their arrangement did not allow it either.

So he chose Google Earth. He saw that she lived in a fairly decent neighborhood. Nothing fancy and for sure nothing like the ghetto. Then he manipulated the view all around the house to see what color her house was, and saw the various plants she had growing.

Then he had the image change to the backyard. The satellite image that was being uploaded to his computer would change the relationship he had with Kelly forever.

There in the backyard, up against the fence he saw what he thought was the image of his girlfriend, performing sex acts on another man.

Jacob was crushed. He was filled with shock and disbelief. But the more he manipulated the satellite image, the more and more certain he was that it was Kelly.

Jacob did nothing at first. But then a couple of days later when he was told that Kelly was at work, Jacob did his search again. Only to find Kelly to be involved with the same man in the backyard again.

This time, Jacob picked up the telephone and called his beloved girlfriend. Kelly answered the telephone pretty quickly and was excited to hear Jacob’s voice on the other line. She explained that she had gone into work by mistake, only to find that she had the day off so she came home.

Kelly so anxious and willing to talk with Jacob, but Jacob was distracted as he refreshed and manipulated the image again, only to find her on the phone. (Which this part of the story actually causes doubt because I was told by others that I’ve shared this with, that Google Earth refreshes their images that frequently. But still what happened is interesting.)

Jacob had saved the image of his girlfriend getting her freak on with this strange man, and uploaded it to his hard drive. Every angle, every shot was now documented.

He still was unable to speak to her as Jacob kept hearing a faint male voice in the background. When he asked who was there, Kelly had told him that a neighbor had stopped by to help her with some heavier yard work that she was unable to do by herself. Jacob continued his silence about the matter.

The story as it was told to me was that Jacob repeated this time and time and time again. And almost every time he would do so, he would find Kelly in the arms of another man, conducting herself in lewd acts. And each time, he would save the satellite images to his computer.

Until one day, Jacob was getting ready to go meet with Kelly and her family during a family party or event. He took the three hour drive and was met by his girlfriend and her parents. Moments later, Jacob was standing face to face with the man whom he had first originally saw Kelly performing sexual acts in her backyard via satellite images.

Jacob then went to his car and pulled out the computer disk in which he had uploaded every image that he could take of Kelly cheating on him. He asked Kelly’s parents if he could download the disk because he had a surprise for Kelly and they welcomed him to the family computer.

He shut the door and uploaded all of the images onto the family’s hard drive. Then he printed several copies off and spread them all around the house as the family was involving themselves at their outdoor activity.

Jacob then came back and uploaded several of the images and attached them to the family’s e-mail account and sent them off to everyone that was listed in the family’s contacts. He went into his own e-mail account and did the same. Even included his own girlfriend to the list of recipients.

All that time, he was nervous that someone was going to walk in on him. To his surprise, he was given complete and total privacy until he emerged from the room.

Several of the printed copies of the photographs were then taken by Jacob and he handed them personally to Kelly, Kelly’s parents, and Kelly’s closest and personal friends.

He announced that the relationship was then over. He walked out of the house and got into his vehicle and went home. He turned off his cell phone and drove home in peaceful silence. When he arrived at his house, he disconnected his telephone and closed his Internet connection.

But he would change all of that the next day. Jacob would get a new telephone number eventually and then change what he was using for his personal e-mail account.

So then, let us assume that this story that I was told is true:

As much as I personally give others the benefit of the doubt, I think that this guy was a lot stronger than I would have been. I’m not saying that I would have went over there with guns blazing or anything, but I definitely would have been asking questions to the point where it could appear to be the Inquisition. Even after giving the benefit of the doubt. If I had seen these images appearing more than once, then I would have definitely been questioning somebody. Anybody!!

As for her, I think she got what she deserved. She was foolish enough to be unfaithful. And what makes it worse is that she was outside while doing so. Not only would satellite images have been able to pick up on her cheating, but anyone could see it… really.

What this guy did, took a lot of courage and patience. Especially after being so willing to see her and date her for a while longer. All that time between the first discovery of those images and the time where he terminated the relationship by humiliating her, I don’t think that I would have been able to go that long like that.

I would have been losing sleep, I would have been sick to my stomach, and I probably would have been a lot faster to accuse her of infidelity with proof in hand long before he ever did.

At any rate, this does make for an interesting story to read about. Even if it is not true. One would hope that it is total fiction.

Write or Die

“She was amazed at his body. His muscles were well defined and smooth that she couldn’t help but want to run her fingers up and down each curve of his body. She gazed at his well endowed manhood and became uneasy. She was a virgin; she did not really know what to do.”

A week or so ago, I was cleaning out my computer of old and useless files. Then I stumbled across a document that apparently was an erotic story about vampires that I had started many, many years ago.

It was incomplete but I looked it over anyways. As I was doing so, I was reflecting in my mind about how this project came to be in the first place and how it ended solely in my lap.

Back then, a former colleague of mine had begun writing this dark story and wanted me to look it over and give it my critique. I agreed and the file document was sent to me almost immediately. When I had opened it to read, the entire manuscript was just filled with errors to the point where it had become a distraction. Later that evening, I took it upon myself to make corrections to it. Once I was finished with that, I sent it back to the original writer and asked her what she thought of it. I did include one filling scene in the story to flesh it out some more so it wasn’t so quick for the main characters to be introduced, then suddenly the male vampire was doing his thing.

The following morning, I received an e-mail from her with nothing praise and excitement that I had made the story “better”. She then asked if I would collaborate with her on the writing of the story. Again, I agreed to help out.

But I ended up being more of a ghost writer than anything. With each part that I had written to add to the story, I would send for her approval. I should have seen it coming, but she never had any debate on what I had done with it and how the story was coming along. With each time I passed the updated document to her came more and more praise. But never any further input on how she wanted to write the story. After a few days that I spent writing, she would eventually give me complete creative control over the story. I still though, would share with her each new piece that I had written to it.

Eventually, the original author and I would have a falling out. It led to us going our separate ways. I was the one stuck with the story that was unfinished and had no further direction.

So then fast forward to about a week ago, this story emerges. I do no think that it is a bad story. Nor do I think that it is a literary gold mine. Its violent and bloody. As well as steamy and erotic. I’ve always tend to try and blend those in whenever I am composing a new story.

There are a few things that I think could be listed into the cons in writing anything further. The mixture between how a man writes and how a woman writes erotic content varies greatly in my opinion. Also, the main characters were given the awful, stereotypical names for both males and females. How I think its so cliché now-a-days to have a male vampire named “Lestat” and have a female named “Scarlet”.

Nothing more original was thought of in the development of these characters. I simply wrote more to what I already had. Even then, I felt the names of the main characters were actually quite lame. And this was something that happened over five years ago.

By now, the former collab partner has probably all but forgotten about this story and most likely doesn’t remember that it exists. And I am stuck with trying to make the decision of whether or not to complete it to the very end, or simply discard it. Knowing that I have already put in 49 unformatted document pages and over 21,000 words makes it difficult to just press DELETE.

Have you ever started a project and then suddenly forgot about it, only to have it resurface again still incomplete? What did you do about it? Did you finish it or did you trash it??

I am curious to know what others might think. Let me know.