“Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?”~ Rita Rudner
This afternoon as I found my eyelids protesting and winning to close, I was heavily startled by the sounds of a crying and ringing telephone.
As I was actually quite comfy laying there I had decided that I would not move from my escape from the cold weather that blasted its way through this morning and even got colder this afternoon.
I felt that if it was important then whomever it was calling can either leave a message or call me right back again.
Then I heard the automated system kick in and the phone call was coming from Time Warner Cable.
They were calling to tell me that a very serious matter needed to be settled and a change in my status of the account would soon be happening.
A.K.A.– I didn’t pay the bill this month. Ooops!! Slight oversight and mistake.
So up from the nest that I had created and I went straight to the website to pay the bill once in for all via online payment.
Problem solved.
Until this evening after business hours where yet again Time Warner decided to call.
I didn’t wanna hear their message about how they were fixing to change the status in my account. I had already paid what was past due AND MORE!
So I answered and then hung up. They called back again.
I knew right then and there that this was another automated message and there was nobody LIVE to speak with.
So I answered a second time but was as silent as can be. I heard nothing. Not a sound. So I hung up. They called back again.
That’s when I gave it to them just to see if they would stop the recording and put on a live person.
When I answered I said “HEY-HO-COCK-BITE-SWEATER-VEST-PINEAPPLE-FARTS-CUM-DROPLETS-BIKINI-SHITS-KAYAKING-TOURIST-SEASON-BALL-SACK-GOT-MOISTURE-TURTLE-TURTLE-PUMPKIN-PIE!!!!!!!”
Whomever it is running the show with the switch board and handling the calls to customers over at Time Warner Cable LITERALLY waited until I had stopped talking before they flipped the switch and the automated message came over the telephone, thanking me for my earlier payment and have a nice day.
Okay, SOMEONE had to hear all that nonsense since they actually waited for me to run out of things to say.
And someone had to have been busting a gut from all of that. Because honestly, I never gave them a traditional telephone greeting.
Dambreaker 