Wheelchairs Wobble But They Don’t Fall Down

“When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up. Let your reason get you back up.”~ Les Brown

I had the right of away, you fucking moron.

Somewhere in between 11 AM and 12 PM, I was crossing the street getting errands done because I knew that in a few hours from then I was planning to see FEAR CONTROL at Dirty Dog Bar.

But no, someone almost ruins it.

And before anyone goes into a panic and starts to text me, call me, message or e-mail me to ask if I am okay…. don’t do it, because I am just fine. 

It was the other guy who has a worse fate ahead than I do.

The image included in this post was taken from a news article where the truck actually struck someone in a wheelchair and that person did die. But here I am at home, writing this story. I apologize in advance if this causes anyone to be startled. But there are some massive jerkwads out there.

While inside some very clear and specific painted lines within a crosswalk, I started to feel this super massive nudge and push from behind. But it was sudden and more like a jolt to the point where the wheelchair was only on two wheels to one side. I knew that I was going to go down. So instead of going down like a victim, I dropped out of the wheelchair, hit the pavement and rolled like a boss until I stopped, landing on my back.

What the hell?!?!?!?!?!???? 

My wheelchair had simply collapsed on itself, as it is designed to do when you want to store it somewhere or put it in the back seat or the trunk of a vehicle. The brand new wheelchair that I got from someone’s kindness took its first major hit and came out CLEAN.

I have some scrapes along my back and shoulders but I am fine. Nothing broken. Not even a bruise. But you know how they always tell you that you’re going to hurt the next day? Yep….. its the next day and I hurt.

HYDROCODONE BITARTRATE  TO THE RESCUE!!!!

By the way, did I tell you how beautiful you look today and that I love you so much?

Yeah its the effects of me being on that particular prescription. Fabulous!!!

So as I laid there, looking up at the utility wires overhead I attempted to at least sit up. I didn’t know if I should move at all because of the fact that I landed on my back. What if it was broken and if I moved… wouldn’t it make it worse?

Instead I turned my head towards the pile of vehicular debris, and the guy responsible for this collision stepped out of his pick up truck and looked around to assess the damage.

He started screaming about how he just bought it and all that and didn’t even look to see where I was. He just went on and on about how much he had paid for his truck. I mean honestly, he did not even bother to see if I was dead or alive or anything else. But the person driving behind him sure did. They came running to see if I was respond to their voice.

Hmmm, amazing how a standard run-of-the-mill wheelchair which would retail about $200 would knock out an acclaimed $30,000 dual cab pick up truck.

Like I said, the wheelchair just collapsed, but this guy’s bumper and grill got a little more smashed in than what I did.

Someone asked me what my blood type was this morning. I answered “BAMF.”

I think that it was the fact that I knew that I was going to fall and there was nothing I could do about it that kept me from sustaining serious injuries. Yes, I loaded up on Norco as I went to see FEAR CONTROL, but I didn’t bother doing anything out of the ordinary to make things worse.

The one sure thing that was a surprise was that the guy who was responsible for this happening actually stayed!! He could have drove off a little angry with his front sustaining more damage than I did, but he stayed. And unfortunately for him, he got super mouthy at the police officers as I was being attended to by members of EMS/EMT.

The pick up truck was towed. And its driver hauled off to jail. And I have a lot to think about as to whether or not to sue this guy for every penny he’s got for what he did. I just know that right now (or at that time) he was in jail. Who really knows for what though!!!!!

I do not think that I am Superman. I do think that the way things turned out that I was very fortunate as it could have been so much worse. This is the second time I’ve taken out a vehicle. The first time being a luxury German automobile.

But I went, and I rocked out with FEAR CONTROL until I could rock no more and still walked away like a bad ass. So yes, I have established my title as a BAMF. Thank you, thank you very much.

Highway To Hilarity

“My advice is: if you’ve got to be miserable to write great music, then drive a truck.”~ Chris Isaak

One of the most vivid memories I’ve carried with me is one of sharing moments with several women who were my childhood crushes. Even before I reached the age of ten years old, I had my favorites. Three of them in fact! They were girls named Lisa, Martha, Kayla and Ana.

More specifically related to this blog post, was the time that I went to a high school parade. Kayla and Ana who were cheerleaders and classmates of my elder brother would soon find me yet again in their presence with my heart all beating wildly. In fact, the entire cheerleader squad knew that my eyes would always twinkle when I would see any of them.

The parade, I remember was cold and a little damp. Being so close to Christmas time. Until one of the floats in the parade came crawling by. I didn’t notice at first, but it was the float of the high school cheerleaders. They were throwing out pieces of candy to the crowds on both sides of the street.

But once it had passed where I was standing on the side of the street and Ana had seen that I was standing there, she yelled and waved at me. Suddenly I was being showered by tons of pieces of candy as fast as she could throw with both hands. Eventually everyone on the back of the parade float would launch ALL of the candy that they had. Barrels of candy being poured into the streets.

Needless to say that children from both sides of the street came streaming to grab as much of it as possible. All the while trying to avoid getting ran over by others who were marching in the parade and the upcoming floats that were behind them. Tons of hard candy were crushed by the tires of the parade float and much of the “good candy” would vanish by the will of young children fueled by sugar-filled avarice.

After employing my younger brother to grab me a piece of candy from the streets, after hundreds of pounds of candy had been poured everywhere, I only ended up with a broken piece of butterscotch.

The reason why the cheerleaders went that wild was because I had been in the hospital because of a major surgery. And this was the first time that they had seen me since that surgery and they all wanted me to feel better. What better way to do that than to shower me with candy!

Fast forward to this evening.

A neighbor and I decided that we wanted to go out to eat. But since neither one of us have a driver’s license, we had to ask another couple who lives here to take us and invite them along. We were calling it a double date.

Their vehicle though is a small truck. There would not be enough room for all four of us to ride inside. So I was the one that sat in the bed of the pick up.

As we went blazing up the highway at speeds of at least 75 MPH (120 KM/H), vehicles that were in traffic behind us would find quite the surprise to see me just chilling out in the back of the truck. The wind blowing through my hair as I sat still.

Most of the drivers behind us stared at me with their jaws dropping. Others were curious and smiling, taking photographs of me with their cell phones.

And it was the same way when we returned home. Although the wind was more vicious and I was not able to move my head around and look about as I was on the way to the restaurant.

For several miles, I noticed one vehicle that was packed with teenage girls. Every last one of them kept smiling and laughing and pointing at me. When I noticed this, I pointed back. I smiled back at them. The next thing I knew, everyone with the exception of the driver (thankfully) had their iPhones and cell phones as close to the windshield as possible.

Then when it had seemed like everyone had taken photographs of me in the wind in the back of this truck, I watched them as they kept sharing with one another what they had. And then they sped off and disappeared.

But then later on they would fall behind again and I would see them, but from the other side of the vehicle.

Again, they took more and more photographs and the second time around I was blowing kisses, winking, and throwing up the Horns at them. To which a couple of them in the backseat threw Horns back.

But sadly, these moments of fun would come to an end as the truck turned east and the girls in the other vehicle kept on heading south.

My image is most likely going to end up on their personal profiles on several social networking websites. But too bad they will never know just who I am. But it was sure fun. 

It was like I was riding a float in my OWN parade. And every person who was ever directly behind the truck that I was in… if they dared to look straight ahead would find quite the surprise.

But even so… having my own parade, I know how others have felt when they have been riding on a float or in the back of a convertible or in any way behind in front of people from the sides.

I just don’t think that in the history of any parade, that the floats were going just as fast!!!!