Posts Tagged ‘uneasy’

Alone-with-God

“It feels right. But it’s emotional. Saying goodbye to anything you’ve done that long is hard.”~ Angela Ruggiero

The 28th of February, will be our social services coordinator’s last and final day of working with us here at the apartment complex where I live.

She had started to tell this to everyone on a one-on-one basis, knowing that the news was going to spread like wild fire.

She’s been with us for two years. And unfortunately for me, her leaving will be the fourth person who has come and taken over that office and that job and has eventually left.

One retired, one quit, one got fired. This one found a better job opportunity. And yet here I am in my numb state talking about it as it is just beyond midnight and will have the morning and part of the afternoon to see her at her work, in her office. Not really knowing what to say to her other than to wish her well in her future endeavors. But I am not one for typical responses. 2916114633_94db1194a5

My neighbor tried to pin it on the fact that she’s this hot chick with long red hair. But that was established two years ago when she walked in the door for her first interview and I happened to see her walking up the sidewalk to enter into our community building. It was also established that she was married and had been for many years. And I just don’t play that game of home wrecking.

So for two years, I’ve done what I could to deal with that sort of thing and I believe that I have done my best not to let it get in the way of letting her do her job and whatever else she needed to do.

Yet when you are around someone five days a week, forty hours a week, one cannot help but develop some attachment. Even if its just simply being social and polite and acting like a caring human being. Yes I did find the long red hair attractive on her. No, I didn’t say or do anything really stupid in order to make her freak out or wanna report me to the police or her boss or whatever. I did say some snarky things but I knew that I had crossed a boundary by her reply of either “oh boy!!” or “oh dear!!” None of which had any permanent damage and yes, I was brave enough to tell her that I was sorry during times. And forgiveness was shortly followed. 1479237_556354031120033_5331615_n

But here I am faced with a dilemma that is very much so a personal problem. The farewell. Or as the rest of you call it “The Goodbye Conversation” … even though I freakin’ HATE using that term. What is appropriate? But also what is not going to sound like a standard and cliché response?

With the new job that she took, it does sound like (for her) that it would be a step forward and an improvement. And honestly, we all should do that in our lives and careers. Step and move forward. But it does not sound like much of an opportunity that she would return for a visit any time soon. Much like the person before her. But the person before her actually retired, instead of going to a different job. So the former person has the time, the one who is leaving us today probably will not.

So I hope that soon, everything will be okay and that I won’t sound like an asshole when I am having my last conversation with her …. as a professional. Nobody can say for sure if I will ever have a conversation away from this property and as a person. I do believe however, that anything is possible. I just hope that the possible becomes a probable.

I spoke to a different professional today. I explained that her leaving us is like being in mourning. Those of us (like myself) who got close enough to her. And they said that I was right. Being in “mourning” just plain sucks.. there’s nothing else more to describe it. And I hope that the mourning period for this particular personal loss will not last long.

I am sure that I will write a follow-up blog soon, probably sometime this weekend. Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!