Breaking Up On Valentine’s Day: Part II

“If it’s illegal to rock and roll, throw my ass in jail!~Kurt Cobain

Amazingly enough, there’s been a big enough buzz about the previous post that I wrote over the subject of breaking up on Valentine’s Day that was done by a colleague by sending his significant other BLACK roses ON Valentine’s Day.

I don’t know why it became such a hot topic and why people were buzzing about the follow-up. But you, the reader, asked for it. Now prepare yourself for the dramatic conclusion in Part II.

The colleague as I now understand had delivered to TWO separate places that was intended to be on the holiday itself. One dozen was to be at the home and the other delivery was to be at her place of work. But the delivery at home came on the 13th. A day early. And they were both home at the time.

The doorbell rang and he got up from their little “love nest” of cuddling in the evening time as was their habit. Only to find out that it was the delivery of black roses and his not-so-kind letter of “Get out of my life!!” attached with the devious bouquet.

Instead he never answered the door and the delivery man was insistent on ringing the door bell. It alerted the girlfriend and she yelled at him to finally just answer the door. He said that he felt that he had to escape. So he ran upstairs far away from her as possible on the other end of his glorious multi-level home and locked himself inside of a bathroom.

He had expected that his girlfriend was going to be lazy and ignore the constant nagging of the door bell. But he was wrong and she answered it. Only to find this large box of what she assumed was roses being delivered to her. But confused when the delivery man read the note of “Get out of my life!” after all…. why would she have to get out of the delivery man’s life?? It didn’t make sense to her.

So she tipped the guy (evidently) and then opened the box, only to find that the roses that she thought were inside were in fact roses …… but BLACK.

What happened next, depends on which side that you wanna listen to and believe.

Being that I know the man in this relationship a lot easier, I will give you his side. Because HER side is unavailable.

He was hiding in the upstairs bathroom after he heard her cussing and screaming for several minutes. Then apparently she burst into tears asking “WHY??”aloud. Then there was more cursing and screaming and then she began to call out for him.

He faked as if he was using the toilet and apparently it took her several minutes to find him. He said that going upstairs was a mistake, that is of course IF he wanted to leave the house. At first he didn’t but after the constant nagging of her calling his name, he said he just wanted to slither out of the second story window and get out of there.

She found him. He FAILED to lock the door. But he also mentioned that he didn’t think that it would’ve mattered because she would have had the patience to wait him out.

But before he knew it, she was crying and screaming and wanting to know why he wanted her to leave. And she APPARENTLY didn’t give him enough time to answer any questions that she asked. Unless they were just rhetorical and coming from raw emotion.

She threw a few of the roses at him before she charged him in the hallway. The chase throughout the house began as he tried to escape to the downstairs. But she would catch him and start slapping and punching along his head and back.

The carrying sounds of her screaming wave after wave of obscenities alerted someone outside and they called the police. And that was the only thing that saved him after they showed up on the scene.

He has two black eyes, a broken nose and a chipped tooth in the front. His smile is for now, wrecked. But he’s got the cash to fix that.

She however was taken away and led to jail and he refused to pay to get her out. So as far as I personally can tell…. she’s still in jail awaiting a court appearance for beating his ass. I mean seriously– she tore him UP!!

He’s an idiot though to have thought that this wouldn’t happen to him.

He went to the hospital and then was released. That very night, he hired some illegal Mexicans to clear the house of her stuff and just to put it out on the lawn at the end of the long driveway. Nothing of hers remains inside the house.

He is expecting to receive a call whenever she is released from jail. I don’t know though if that has happened yet or not. He acts weird when he’s on pain medication. So I don’t talk to him or call him too much.

He suggests I call the police if she shows up here. But he doesn’t think she’ll take the walk all the way from one side of the city to the other. But “just in case” …. just call the cops.

Now he’s trying to get her fired from her job, since the company that she is working for is one that he personally owns.

So there’s your closure ladies and gentlemen.

The Best Day To Break Up Is Valentine’s Day?

Well, I have heard it all now.  

The perfect day for a colleague to break up with his serious girlfriend of eight and a half years, will be Valentine’s Day 2014.

He has spent over $129.99 in an arrangement of black long stemmed roses to be delivered either to her place of work or to her home.

Yep. Over $13 a piece!!!

Because he wants to break up with her.

The story seems to be cold-hearted and unfair and totally uncool.

Until you hear the reasons as to WHY he wants to break up with her.

He’s very well off, financially. He has everything he wants and more. But he got caught up with this woman so long ago, and has been losing his money like a broken pipeline from BP. Take that and you add the fact that her infidelities are insurmountable. She even attempted to crawl into my own pants once before. But Dambreaker Don’t Play Dat!!!

It sounds as if she’s been doing this since the beginning. But now he’s reached his limit. And this money that he is spending on delivering the black roses is nothing to him. As long as she takes the hint and leaves him alone for good.

I attempted to personally stop him from doing this. But he would not listen. I told him to break up with her personally. I even made the suggestion he use that money a lot better than black roses. But none of it went into his head.

So ladies out there, who are preparing to celebrate Single Awareness Day …. count your lucky stars that you are not this woman.

 

I Am A Valentine’s Day Deity

“A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world.”~ Leo Buscaglia

A few years ago, there was an article that talked about how a man had met a woman, and he was attracted in some manner to her and he left this really nasty message on her voice mail about how much of a “great catch” he was and that she was missing out and all of that. It actually serves two purposes: For one, a good laugh. And two, it teaches men how NOT to be around women.

I have broken the mold today in what I have done this morning at the local grocery store while waiting for a ride to return home.

Being that everyone who knows me personally knows that Valentine’s Day can just go ahead and suck on it and die already.

However this morning, I took a different approach.

What I am about to tell you actually did happen, nothing has been changed to protect anyone. Just the hard up truth.

I know that there are going to be millions of people out there like me tomorrow with absolutely NOTHING. And I mean N-O-T-H-I-N-G! ! ! !

So I decided to go over into the floral department where they had their displays of long stemmed single roses out for their Valentine’s Day promotions. I picked up a few of the single roses and paid for them.

Then I went out to the edges of the floral department and with anyone that passed by me, I offered to buy them a rose so that they could say that they had something this year on Valentine’s Day.  It didn’t matter if they were young, old, married, single, divorced, widowed, engaged, in a relationship, MALE OR FEMALE… I offered to anyone that went by me.

I am planning on saving some extra money on the side each month so that by next Valentine’s Day, I can offer more than “just a rose” for people. Because I AM the great catch.

Wish me luck. And yes, if you’re in this area next year. I will definitely BUY you some roses for Valentine’s Day.

Don’t Know If I’ll Make It Until Then

“I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it.”~ Esai Morales

I’m sitting here, staring blank at the clock and I realize that in just a few minutes, it is about to be a new day.

I also realize that it will be one day closer to that ill-thought that is Valentine’s Day.

I thought that this year would be different for me. I no longer have that thought any more this very night. And with under a week to go….. the answer is unclear at this point.

I had asked someone to “be my Valentine” and in my past experiences, either I was lied to or my request was denied. And even if I had offered an evening full of PLATONIC surprises to a woman, having a date for that night would never ever happen. Not ever.

The closest thing that came to a Valentine’s Day celebration was with my last girlfriend. She didn’t want conventional gifts such as roses and chocolates. But she was able to chose what was to be had for dinner and I was the one that cooked it and had it ready to be placed on the table by the time she got home from work. There was no intimacy that evening either as she had been feeling bad days prior and all the excitement of the surprise was too much for her to handle. She went to bed long before I did that night.

So I’ve not been given the experience of chocolates, and roses, and diamonds, and kissing and making love. And yes that makes me VERY BITTER towards the holiday in general almost to the point of hating it.

But yes, I did ask someone to be my Valentine this year. And they said yes. Okay, great… now what? Now it was time to go into the pages of the books written by Jodi Ambrose and take a refresher course of the do’s and do not’s. Even though this woman ….. well, there’s nothing there. Just me being interested. 

I won’t get into detail to spare anyone from the public shaming session that would be inevitable to come by colleagues and close personal friends of mine, but so close to being able to do what I would like to do on a Valentine’s Day ….. only to find out that the woman has betrayed my senses and my trust. I know that I will be receiving personal messages about this. And I am ready for some of those messages to be along the lines of “I told you so!” but I will not fight them.  Being tricked and deceived by someone in this manner is not fun. I find it earth shattering and it doesn’t help anything going on with me upstairs.   

So again with just so many days left.. I’ve not done anything about it. I don’t know at this point if I will or if I will just let Valentine’s Day slide and let it join the rest of the lonely Valentine’s Days that I have a nearly a lifetime of.

Maybe one day I will get it right.

Maybe I won’t.

If you are still reading this: blog posts are probably going to be this “sad” for a while until I am able to stand back up again. And I know that day is coming!!

It is honestly not meant intentionally to the masses of people to be reading about my pain but this IS MY BLOG!! And I shall turn a few posts into a diary if I feel like it.

And even if I make the rest of this week through… I’m just not sure that I will make it to BJ & Steak Day.

 

Sweethearts

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”~Charles M. Schulz

So what in the world are these little heart shaped candies that are sold around Valentine’s Day?

Where do they come from?

Here’s your answer:

Oliver R. Chase invented a machine in 1847. This machine was to cut lozenges from wafer candy.

His brother, Daniel, began this heart shaped conversation candies in 1866. Finding a way to print words on to the candy.

In 1901, the candy that was eventually called Sweethearts had its start.

Then in 1990, the Necco Company began to think that they needed to update their candy with different conversations to please the newer generations. These messages would include such phrases as “Call Me” or “Fax Me”. And even today in 2013, I saw one that said “Text Me”….. was totally weird. I am so used to the classic conversations. Although I do not prefer to consume the candy. 

Necco produces the hearts from late February through mid January of the following year. Approximately 100,000 pounds (45,000 kg) of hearts are made per day, which sells out in about six weeks.

That is a BUTT load of candy!! And it blows the mind to know that it SELLS OUT each and every year.

There was a time where they had changed their formula for making the candy. It would include more vibrant colors, different flavors, and would be a lot more chewy. But the idea fell apart when a few years, sales were starting to rapidly decline. People were not happy with the changes and didn’t like the flavors.  So the company went back to the original formula.

Being that I don’t personally care of the candy, I actually just took photographs of them and posted them onto Facebook profiles of women. Going old school, y’all!!

Some took it too literal. Some didn’t take it seriously enough. It was a disaster. I will not be doing that again for 2014.

I was happy to see that not too many women were gushing on Facebook of what their lovers bought them for the day. It seems like they do that frequently whenever this holiday, Christmas, and their birthdays and/or anniversaries come up.  But for those who did, it wasn’t a big surprise for me. I am just glad that it wasn’t the entire collective!!!!!

Anyone else looking forward to the holiday on the 14th of March instead? I could probably name a dozen or so people. Regardless of whether or not they participated in the Valentine’s Day holiday ritual.

So there you have the story of the popular Valentine’s Day candy. So much cheaper than chocolate and diamonds and roses.

And that is what Valentine’s Day boredom is all about.