Posts Tagged ‘vibrators’


“Taylor Swift seems to be the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom.” ~ Unknown

So I’m sitting here this evening catching up with one of my best friends over the telephone. And she knew that my demeanor over the past week has been sour.

She tells me that she is house sitting over at her parents house. And we talk for a while. Not as long as we would normally, but long enough.

So she proceeds to tell me this story that she had receive a “shit ton” of condoms and other prophylactics that is stored in a bathroom drawer that she used when she was living at home.

But the thing is that she also had stored in the home of her parents, a vibrator and a bunch of the morning after pills.

As she came back home to house sit, she saw that the condoms were gone. Disappeared!! It had been evident to her that her mother came into that bathroom and just cleaned out everything.

So I don’t even wanna know WHY she has a “shit ton” of condoms and a vibrator and the morning after pills stashed at her parents house. And I don’t wanna know where she got them all from. But I will say that she’s quite horny.

Meanwhile I am on the other side of the telephone conversation dying with laughter and on the brink of pissing in my pants.

The vibrator and the pills were removed, but the condoms were left behind believing that she would smuggle those out of the house at a later time. But they were gone.

And I am sitting there laughing until I cannot breathe because that had to be so frightening to know that your parents took away your safe sex items from you.


Thankfully the condoms were not removed. Otherwise this could have happened.

My own climax from the laughter came when she admitted that she found the condoms neatly stacked  and organized in another part of the bathroom. They were not confiscated, just relocated.

So we sat there trying to imagine what it would have been like for her mother to find the pills and the vibrator. Its just too damned funny.

What kind of reaction would ANY parent have to find such things in their home that was set aside by their children? Especially condoms?????

What would YOUR reaction be if this was happening with YOUR CHILDREN???? I am sure that we all would have different reactions.

The tale of the missing condoms was just too great for me to deny. Yeah, I was in a shitty mood earlier. But now I’m sweating profusely and trying to gasp for air for laughing so hard.

And I’ve probably yet again alerted the neighbors that I found something to be hilarious.

I truly and honestly have one helluva group of friends. And I love them all to death and they know it.

But the missing condoms story was too funny.