Posts Tagged ‘warning’

human_head_reference_picture_front“Everyone has highs and lows that they have to learn from, but every morning I start off with a good head on my shoulders, saying to myself, ‘It’s going to be a good day!’.”~ Lindsay LohanIf I did not write this down, it would be a complete tragedy and total loss to mankind.

Even though I cannot give specific details, I can give you at least the story which is too good to keep to oneself. I’ll have to change the names. Not for their safety, but to keep my ass from getting sued. Ready? Here we go.

Not that long ago, I was laying in a hotel bed at night just watching television, thinking to myself that I should probably go to sleep because the following morning, I had to get up early and knew that I would be working hard all day long.

The moment that I had the room dark with all the lights turned off, there was a knock on my door.

When I opened the door, they asked for me by name. I said that’s who I was.

It was a woman. More specifically, a prostitute. Hookers aren’t my thing, so I decided to turn her away. But she insisted that either she come into my room or she get paid. She told me that “Mark” had called for her to come to my room, and she was not going any where until something happened. Either her work or her getting paid.

“Mark” had a room two floors above, and I tried to tell her that it was “Mark” that called so she should attempt to get her money from him. But she was insisting.

I slammed the door in her face. But she kept knocking. I’ve never met a more persistent prostitute in all of my life!

So I gave her the money that I had made working for the week to get her out of the hotel and told her to get a cab ride home.

“Mark” was going to get it. I am in charge of “Mark”, so he was screwed.

But I double checked with those that are in charge of me, and to be honest, they do not like “Mark” and they wished that they could find a reason to fire “Mark.”

A small group of people went on a horse riding tour. One of which, took a long a shovel.

Don’t get ahead of me… keep reading!

But in fact, this group of people did gather the manure from the horses, and picked up more and placed it all inside of a plastic bag.

Here’s where it gets hilarious………

I know some people who have worked in the industry with make-up and the like. They took this head full of horse shit and sculpted it into the shape of a head. And then they painted it and made it look like a person’s head. Complete with facial features and everything. The only thing missing were ears for whatever reason.

They put this head and placed it into “Mark’s” luggage.

At the airport, there was an elderly man working. This guy was probably really close to retirement when he began sniffing into the air. Something was wrong. But he couldn’t figure out what.

So he had “Mark” open up his luggage to figure out what the problem was.

The moment he flipped open the lid, that head was right there in the middle of it all. The poor old man working luggage screamed like a pre-pubescent girl. He was terrified at the sight of that head being there.

“Mark” was busy staring into his cell phone when he jumped hearing the old man scream. He looked down and he screamed as well.

“Mark” immediately started to punch at the head, squeezing and pounding it. Allowing for the contents on the inside to scatter all over the place.

That’s right. Horse shit was everywhere. Everything was ruined.

“Mark” soon quit the job a few days later. Not because of the luggage prank, but he started having marital problems being away from home for so long at a time. He went home to fix his marriage.

Moral? Don’t mess with me. Especially if I am the one person you have to answer to.

westboro-church-founder

“It is time to clean the worms off of our boots and march in the grass.” ~ Dambreaker

I think that this will be the only time that I will bring up this topic. Because you even bad press is good press. No matter what you say about a person.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/obituaries/fred-phelps-sr-leader-of-westboro-baptist-church-dies-at-84/2014/03/20/a0c5cd30-ae2b-11e3-a49e-76adc9210f19_story.html

Fred Phelps, Sr. the ‘leader’ of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas has died at the age of 84.

They’ve been able to stir up so much hatred against their group by so many people that there has been many comments that I have heard throughout the years. Most of them about how Westboro needs to burn in hell and what not.

No matter what you think about them and the fact that their beginning leader is now dead and gone, this group will NOT be going anywhere any time soon.

The biggest thing is understanding WHY they are so full of hate.

Westboro Baptist Church was alleging that there was a problem of anonymous homosexual activity that was happening inside of Gage Park. And they wanted the city to do something about it to have it remove the group out of the park because the group wanted it to be a safe and better place for families to gather and children to play and they did not want the homosexuals to “ruin” it for children and families.

Well long story short…. WBC did not get what they wanted. Even with Fred Phelps Sr. and his law degree from Washburn University there in Topeka, WBC lost.

Enter: HATE.

And that’s the way it has been with this group since 1991. It seems as if everyone has been falling prey to them because hate begat hate. If people would have ignored them to begin with as they entered their realm of extreme views of pure hatred, they wouldn’t be as powerful as they are today. If nobody would have cared, it wouldn’t be such a hot topic.

Now the leader is dead. And a few people are NOT holding up their ends. What I mean is that there were people who claimed that they would celebrate and party hard once Fred Phelps Sr. was dead. In fact people have been silent. Perhaps these people came to their human senses and realized that it wasn’t such a great idea. 110110_ShirleyPhelps

But do not count out WBC. The old poison is gone. The new poison is now in. The Phelps family will most likely continue on what they’ve been doing for these years without their leader and probably go even stronger and harder to piss off the world in their ways and fashion.

They are still among us. They are still on this Earth. And they have been given no real reason to stop their hatred for everything and anything, just because their leader is dead.

I suspect that WBC will mourn the death of their leader and then continue business as usual.

Its up to us to actually IGNORE these people. Most of us are not able to fight them as many of them have law degrees from Washburn University just like Fred Sr. They know how to protect themselves and hide behind the First Amendment.

So do what you wanna do about the news of the death, hell… many people thought about picketing one of THEIR funerals.

I cannot be sure, but I thought that I had read something about WBC requesting that nobody picket their funerals, which seems like an extremely absurd request considering all the funerals they’ve picketed themselves. But I cannot confirm they’ve said that.

But think about it though:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2014/03/20/better-things-to-do-than-picket-the-fred-phelps-funeral/

Is it something we really wanna do? Waste time to picket a man’s funeral??

So be warned.. Westboro Baptist Church is still alive. Still hating. And not going anywhere.

An angry woman

“A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.”~Christopher Morley

In my youthful age, I have been fortunate enough to pay attention to certain things that would to most, seem mundane and minimal. I thank my lucky stars to have the common decency and sense to remembered things that would later serve a purpose in life, no matter how large the scale.

I’m talking about the treatment of pregnant women by men.

And therefore I send forth my plea to men… PLEASE STOP PISSING OFF PREGNANT WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that by now, men in general realize not to mess with a woman who is dealing with her period. But there really can’t be much said for those who know not to, and still do it. These men are beyond help.

But it’s recently come to my attention that the hormones in pregnant women…. well… guys seriously, there’s no other way of putting it. If you mess with a pregnant woman, you’re gonna get tore up.

So now I give you the TOP FIVE incidents that I had personally witnessed to of men messing with a pregnant and the disastrous consequences thereafter. Of course, I believe this kind of thing happens every day, and it shouldn’t. But these are the ones that I am aware of.

Here we go!!!!

#5 – Little Rock National Airport. Mid-1980’s. My grandmother would often visit my family from Michigan. She would fly to Arkansas and spend what seemed like to us at the time, almost an eternity. But once the entire family went as we were giving grandmother a ride to the airport so that she could return home. She unfortunately had missed her flight. So she was made to wait for another flight to leave. And the family stayed. Meanwhile, there was a couple that was sitting directly behind my seat and I could overhear their conversations. Mainly because they were being loud and obnoxious. Ahh, young love in the 80’s!!!

So the woman told her lover/boyfriend/whatever, as she began to weep, that she went to her doctor and found out that she was about a month or so pregnant. To which the response out of him was “Ohhh thank God!! I thought it was you who was stealing my fuckin’ Star Crunches out of the pantry. Baby, I didn’t know how to tell you, but your booty is starting to get large.” 

About this time I did glance back behind me, only to find the woman’s hands around the guy’s throat as the man was drooling and slobbering on himself, gasping for air before airport security escorted both man and woman away, and in different directions with the assistance of local police. Portrait of angry lady with a bat

#4- Sedgewick County Zoo, Wichita, Kansas. Late 1980’s. After being at what I could gather was some random conference for teens, to learn about the dangers about teen pregnancies and what not, one female participant had apparently been feeling guilty because she was pregnant with her boyfriend’s child. The teen couple had taken the summer day off to go to the zoo and they happened to be at the tiger exhibit at the same time I was. To which the girl confessed that she was pregnant with his baby. (I could only make such a theory based on the t-shirts they both were wearing at the time.)

The boyfriend then did that stereotypical macho garbage move and told her that when they had left the zoo, that they were going to buy a home pregnancy kit. And if it came to be that she was in fact pregnant, that he was leaving her.

After a few seconds of cursing, religious blasphemy, and swearing, I was quickly moved on to the next area of the zoo for my own safety.

Later I would get ill from eating something bad at the concession stand at the zoo and would be still awake after my supposed “bedtime” and long enough to be awake for the late night news where it was then reported about how a young teenage girl was arrested for attempting to throw her boyfriend into the tiger cage. Luckily for him, the tigers were sleeping and didn’t notice anything.

#3- Wedding Reception. Rhode Island. 2008. During the time that I was with my last girlfriend, I as the “boyfriend” was swiftly taken away to the New England states in order to attend the wedding of my girlfriend’s older brother. It was a most uncomfortable scene as I was very much made aware that my girlfriend’s ex-husband was best friends with the groom-to-be and was going to be in attendance.

I did not see him at the wedding ceremony itself though. I’m getting off track here. Back to the reception.

At the reception, was a young newlywed couple of probably no more than five years. And the woman was pregnant and showing. And her misguided husband attempted to take the role of food patrol for his wife, very publicly announcing to her that she had “had enough” wedding cake to eat. (In reality, was only a second piece since the first one was so thinly sliced.)

Saying nothing to her husband, she handed him the cake and he turned away to look for a place to dispose of the unwanted pastry. Only for others there to have been there to witness the wife standing up, folding up her chair that she was sitting in and proceeding to beat the living shit out of her husband with it.

As I was given to understand, the ink on the divorce papers were dried and served. Evidently she had cleaned him out and took the children with her by the time I left my ex LESS than a year later.

#2- Fundraising sporting event. Austin, Texas. 2010. This one, I should admit to not witnessing…. but rather reading about it. And then speaking to someone who was actually there. But it was later reported to be true in the news.

After paying $50 a piece to see a baseball game that was going to be played by “local celebrities” and other noted citizens to battle cancer, a pregnant wife was having trouble getting up into the stands where her seat was, as was printed by her ticket. Her husband was nowhere to be found for assistance and she had to rely on the kindness of strangers to hold her by the hand so that she could walk up to her seat.

During the game, her water broke. And where was her husband? Chatting it up with a local FEMALE news anchor on the other side of the field, doing and talking about who knows what. She had sent her husband a text message to alert him that her water broke and their child was on the way to be born. To which the answer by her husband was “But the game isn’t even over yet. And I’m way over here. What do U want me 2 do about it??”

By the time the other spectators had helped her down the stairs from the stands and escorted her to her car, she took the keys herself, and drove over to the general location of her husband. But she was not there to pick him up, but to mow him down while the natural flow of things continued to ruin the husband’s vehicle’s upholstery on the driver’s side. Narrowly missing her husband, taking out a news camera that was standing on a tripod to record film of the game in progress and side-swiping her husband’s newly found company before driving off to the hospital alone. angry

#1- Lunch Out at Applebee’s. Austin, Texas. 2013. So by now a few people who have been reading this blog know that every once in a while, there will be an activity of going out to lunch with my neighbors of the apartment complex. And they also know that some of the neighbors love to pick on me because 99% of the time, I will order a dessert. And they just sit there eagerly awaiting to see what sugary delight I am going to order at the end of the meal.

The demise of the day: Triple Chocolate Meltdown.

And for once, someone ELSE overheard me talking and from that had based their decision that they too, wanted dessert. It was a pregnant woman who was sitting at a booth off to my left.

The man that was with her, presuming it was her husband or boyfriend. Or at the very least the father of her unborn child, he questioned her decision and asked her if whether or not she thought and felt that she was getting big enough. The reference being her pregnant belly as he pointed to it.

The expecting mother reached across the table to slap him, knocking over his iced tea in the process that splashed all over his nice work clothes and neck tie. So in a sense, a double whammy. First the slap, then the spill. Growing up, we used to call them “two-fers” because two things happened in one instance.

The man got up and looked at her wondering why in the world she would do something to him like that and yelled “What the fuck is your problem?” and then proceeded to freak out about his clothes and whether or not he was going to make it to his rather important meeting after they had finished with lunch.

Why do people seem to think its okay to scream obscenities at the top of their lungs when in public???? I’ve never understood that.

So anywhoodles… the pregnant woman ambled her way to her feet and straightened herself out before lifting her leg behind her and putting as much force behind the swing through. The result was that she had kicked him square into the testicular regions, where he had lost all fortitude and then said back to him, “Just order the goddamned dessert and shut the fuck up. Its because of YOU that I’m like this. Remember that!!!

Needless to say that I took an alternate route to leave the restaurant as I did not want to feel any kind of residual wrath that may be lingering. The man just sat there in silence with tons of sweat pouring from his forehead as his face turned all kinds of colors in his face, but he never said another word for as long as I was sitting there.

I honestly could go on, but these are only FIVE examples. The history of the world is flooded with these kinds of things begginghappening because someone said something to a pregnant woman. And honestly………. its not that difficult, WATCH WHAT YOU SAY!!

This is why some women get away with murder. I’m just saying!

A person should watch what they say in the first place, but especially around pregnant women. Because much like a woman who is experiencing her “time” of the month, you never really know what’s going to set her off and what she is capable of doing.

So this is basically a Dambreaker PSA for you. I AM PLEADING…. STOP PISSING OFF PREGNANT WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guarantee you– you will live much longer.