Posts Tagged ‘wheelchair’

 

“Girls were always my biggest distraction in school.”~  Channing Tatum
 
Happy Friday, everybody! Or around here: “Coffee & Donuts Day”.
 
Each and every Friday morning, I am filled with curiosity to see just what kind of behavior will be exhibited by those wanting donuts. It always varies depending on who is there. But this morning was a bit different. But I figured that it would be particularly interesting considering how greedy these neighbors showed off during Food Pantry Day just a couple days ago.
 
The van in which contained those neighbors who went walking for excercise (as well as carried the donuts) broke down. It caused a great delay for a lot of people. But surprisingly enough, everyone was calm. Nobody was throwing a tantrum about the tardiness of the weekly donut distribution.
 
But coffee was readily available. To which I had consumed numerous cups. However, what goes in must come out. Particularly of the liquid variety.
 
“Holding it” was not an option.
 
I returned to evacuate my bladder in the privacy of my own home. I began to believe that as soon a I left the building, the donuts would arrive. And with the group of people who had been already waiting there, nobody could say for sure if there would be anything left.
 
But I did what I had to do and then went on my journey back to the community room to seek the answer to the burning question.
 
My home is at the top of a hill. To get to the community room, I must negotiate a slight turn in the middle of four sidewalks that cross one another and still manage the incline and watch my speed so I don’t run over anyone.
 
As I was beginning to build up speed, I was distracted by something out of the corner of my eye. A woman was walking on the property that I had never seen before. Wouldn’t you know it, I looked up and over the back of my shoulder as I had to maintain speed and get around that slight turn.
 
My distraction would get the best of me as I did not slow down enough to take the slight turn and stay on the sidewalk. Because I simply wasn’t paying any attention to where I was.
 
The woman that I had been staring at disappeared in a flash as I felt the wheelchair began to lean heavily to one side. I looked forward and I could feel myself going at an angle to my left. 'I immediately became distracted.'
 
I knew what was going to happen and there was not a lot that I could do. I tipped over and got dumped out of my wheelchair to the left side. My body tumbling like a circus performer before I stuck the landing on my butt in the grass. The wheelchair now empty…. simply tossed to the side.
 
I’m physically fine. I don’t even have any scrapes or cuts or anything. Nothing broken, nothing bruised. Well, maybe my own personal ego…. but only a little bit.
 
That’s what I get for not paying attention to what I was doing. Rather than doing something that I do dozens of times a day for the past several years, but instead I focused on something (or someone) else which caused the “crash and burn”.
 
When these kinds of things happen, I find myself to hit the dirt and the first thing that I always do is look around to see if anyone might have seen it. Nine times out of ten there isn’t anyone around. So the humiliation factor goes to nothing.
 
I lifted up my wheelchair and then climbed back into it. I soared down the rest of the hill and turned into the community room where there was only four donuts left. I was shocked that they were not all gone.
 
I had eaten my donut and came back home so I can get ready for the day. But still had to blog about it while it was still fresh in my mind. Someone is going to need a laugh today, and find this funny.
 
 
 
 

“Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.”~ Samuel Goldwyn
This t-shirt image was given to me last night by a great friend of mine. This t-shirt is on eBay for sale.
 
I love it! I think its wild and I think its funny!! But this image would eventually bring out the worst in me, due to a small collective group of people who are totally and completely ignorant.
 
The image is obviously of a two people making love while one of them is sitting in a wheelchair. Gender cannot be determined. But gender isn’t the point. The point is the funny visual of making love while sitting in a wheelchair.
 
I was delighted to see it, so I shared it across the Internet. A lot of people enjoyed it, thinking it was funny as well. But there were that small group of people that just took the image and discussed it at length to the point where they were absolutely out of line and their comments were uncalled for.
 
These ignorant morons literally to this image to the extreme and came up with the general idea that this could never happen in reality. Furthermore, their opinions went as far as to say that ALL people who need the use of the wheelchair cannot make love, because they are in a wheelchair.
 
If there ever was a time for my mouth to let fly a series of F-bombs, this would be one of those times.
 
I could not believe the stones that they had, to say something like that. To me, to others, and actually believe that what they were saying, was totally true and right. And of course, they were closed-minded to any debate. In their minds: HANDICAPPED PEOPLE OR PEOPLE WITH PHYSICAL DISABILITIES CANNOT HAVE INTIMATE RELATIONS.
 
I asked them all, if they had sex. Then I asked if any of them who have had sex before ever done so other than the bedroom. Whether it be the couch, a chair, the backseat of a car, whatever. Some still said yes. But they still were not grasping the concept that they were in the exact same position as the people in the image when they were engaging in sexual relations with a partner.
 
For them to say into my face that it was impossible, was more than just an insult. It was absolutely discriminating. My final words to them were, “When you find yourself in a wheelchair for something stupid that you did, which caused you to be in a wheelchair, you tell me whether or not if YOU can have relations with another person. Don’t sit there and tell me what I can and cannot do, because you do not even know who I am. You’ve never met me, you do not know what my own limitations are. And neither do any of you know of the relationships I have had in the past with women, and what I have or have not done with them. Open your mind because there is no way that you can say for sure what I (or others who are also in wheelchairs) can or cannot do. Why? Because you don’t have the lives that we do and will never know what we have to endure to get by every day. So either think before you speak, or shut the fuck up!”.
 
I was infuriated and very pissed off. It didn’t calm the debate down by a long shot, but I got out what I needed and wanted to say.
 
I realize that a lot of people don’t fully understand what I have to go through in life. I also realize that when I tell them, that it might be difficult for them to visualize. And that’s because they don’t have to go through it themselves. Doesn’t make them stupid, it makes them without knowledge and unaware.
 
The same thing happens when I tell people that I play sledge hockey. Automatically, their minds have this visual of people in wheelchairs on ice. But that’s not what the sport is about. And I have to walk them through it and explain it to them so that they have a better understanding.
 
I do not know what it is like to drive, jump rope, or go rock climbing. Doesn’t mean I should bash on those who do. And that’s exactly what these people were doing! Their assumptions that physically handicapped people and their limitations go so far. And in their minds, it wasn’t far at all.
 
Everyone has their own opinion. But at some point, there comes a time where sometimes that opinion should be quietly withheld. And that statement is MY OPINION.
 
If this group of people would have either just agreed or disagreed that the t-shirt image was funny and dropped it, this explosion of anger wouldn’t have happened. I was not the only ones involved in the conversation that were angry either. But for those who were, I couldn’t really get a word in, except for the above stated quote.
 
As far as the t-shirt goes, I’m glad that it was brought to my attention. And most likely I WILL purchase it from eBay. Why? Because to me- its funny.
 
 
 
 
 
 

This is too stupid to have been made up. We have our IDIOT for July!

Last night, I was chatting with my best friend when I heard a horrendous noise like someone was dragging something along the outside walls of my home. When the noise had stopped, I saw that one of the wheelchairs that I have sitting on my patio area was knocked over and the other one was missing.

These two wheelchairs are of no real good use to me, unfortunately. They both have seen their better days and so I had then folded up and put up against the wall so that I can use them as patio furniture.

But one was missing. I looked around and saw a man walking up the sidewalk with my wheelchair at his side. When he saw that I had spotted him, he lifted it up into his embrace and tried to run.

All I could do, was laugh. The wheelchair that he took was in the worst condition of the two that were there. And so he got away. But not before I could see who it was.

This morning around 8:30, I was scared out of my wits when there was a long and loud thrashing upon my door. When I finally opened the door, who did I see?

THE MAN WHO HAD STOLEN THE WHEELCHAIR IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

Like I said, I couldn’t make this junk up if I tried.

He gave me a “hand-written” note, and he smiled.

The note said:

“Your wheelchair is of no good use and does not function properly to the best of its abilities-Therefore I am returning it.”

That is true. The wheelchair will eventually become unreliable soon as it has really been through a lot.

But the situation from this morning gets better. He SIGNED the note.

I reported the incident AND him, and within 20 minutes he was arrested.

What a moron to first steal, then return. But what makes him more of a moron and the winner of this month’s Idiot Award was the fact that he did return it, and he told me about it!!

I asked if whether or not this guy was capable of functioning mentally but the officer said “Probably not.” So he might have been on drugs.

So congratulations “Bernard”. You’re an IDIOT!!

 

 

 

such beautiful chaos at the House of Torment

The weather so far in June has been very uncomfortable for this part of the world. We’re used to the high temperatures and humidity of course, but this early in the season? It has been very dry and very hot. We normally do not get such weather until July or August. And then sometimes we deal with it through September.

 
I kept thinking to myself that all I had to do was make it to the Fourth of July weekend. And then it struck me: July, August, September, October.
 
Holy smokes!! I know the months of the year beginning in July ….. AND …… there’s only a few more months until the whole “Halloween Season” comes. But mainly the fact that the “House of Torment” will soon be auditioning for characters for the local haunted attraction.
 
For the past three seasons I have always wanted to audition to be a zombie or a monster at this nationally acclaimed haunted house. But I always had missed out because I didn’t know exactly when to go and audition. Not to mention not really knowing what they are looking for in a monster.
 
I had always thought that I could bring something to the table by sitting in my wheelchair, all disfigured and gross.. and just scare the crap out of people!! I mean, there are endless possibilities on how to do it. Trust me, I’ve spent a lot of time sitting around thinking about it. So I have been wanting to this for so long. Why not make it an equal opportunity scare business by employing the disabled? People get scared of me all of the time, but that’s because they are ignorant. In this way, I could give them a reason to be scared. But I digress.
 
Then about a year ago (after the Halloween season no less), I read an article that the House of Torment was looking for people. The article was written in the early part of August. I know that they go through an extensive training during that month and then they open their doors at the end of September and into early October and stay open until Halloween. At least that is how it is to the best of my knowledge.
 
Personally, I think its great because most haunted houses are only open on weekends during the month of October and some of them will extend their hours of operation during the week OF Halloween. But there has been a few seasons where the House of Torment opened their doors at the last part of September and kept them open every day for business until the first weekend of November.
 
What a great way to make a living. Even if it is for a short period of time in the calendar year. I can dress up, look horrible, scare people and get paid doing it for a couple of months.
 
But like I said, every year goes by and I never find out where I need to go or what I need to do, until it is too late and the advertisements are beginning to circulate and the very late night commericals are begining to air.
 
Allow me to tell you a story of my first (and probably last) experience with the House of Torment:
 
As a paying customer I went through the attraction to the best of my ability. These attractions really are not made for people with physical handicaps and wheelchairs because a lot of the times their sets are built on feeding a person’s fear of small and enclosed spaces. A lot of haunted attractions simply post bulletins that if you are handicapped, you won’t get in.
 
But that one time that I went, I did okay.
 
There is one character by the name of Mr. Creep. You can look him up online. Top hat, top coat, walking cane. A “posh monster”.
 
So anyways, I was in the attraction and I saw Mr. Creep… but thought he was only a prop. I didn’t pay attention to it much. I moved about the attraction but did not realize that Mr. Creep was following right behind me.
 
I heard something, and turned around. Mr. Creep was right there again standing in the same position as before. I thought that haunted house staff members were playing tricks with me by moving this prop everywhere I go.
 
After a few times of this silly little game, I decided to test it out and see if this was a person in a costume or a prop. So I did everything I could to make it move. Maybe blink. But nothing happened. I then put my hand in front of its nose and mouth. The actor knew very well to hold his breath. So then I was moving my arm, waving it in its face and then I mistakenly bumped my arm onto theirs. So Mr. Creep ended up moving.
 
In a blink of an eye, Mr. Creep screamed at me!
 
I turned around and I was GONE BABY, GONE!!!
 
I literally ran over the group of friends I went with, passed them up and then ran over two other groups of people in the attraction that were ahead of me, all the while knocking people over onto the floor, and out the door I went without stopping or looking back. Screaming like a little sissy girl in the process, the entire way out the door!
 
Apparently, Mr. Creep followed me every step of the way and thought it was so funny as he stood there in the doorway holding his sides and laughing hysterically and yet some how still able to stay in character.
 
I didn’t think it was that funny. At least not at the time. But I laugh about it now and don’t get so upset when I tell others this story and they start cracking up.
 
I never went back there again. At least not as an fear enthusiast and a customer. The attraction really isn’t that far away from where I live. I go by it all of the time- all year round.
 
But then how ironic is it that I am absolutely craving the opportunity for employment at a place that just about scared the piss out of me? Wild, wild stuff!
 
The Halloween season of 2010, I kept up with the House of Torment as much as possible. I never got a chance to go to the area, but I was so amped that it was opening up again. I talked with a lot of people who did go to the attraction and had them tell me their stories and experiences. I even contacted via the Internet about possible employment but never heard back from them. I guess they were already in full swing of operation by the time I had done so that they didn’t need any more help.
 
I joined message boards, profiles, whatever had their name on it. I watched YouTube videos of people’s visits… laughing every step of the way when someone was using a cell phone to record video and an unindentified monster or zombie that was NOT in frame would come up and yell “BOO!”.
 
Now I understand that Global Fear Enterprises are the ones in charge. They offer a variety of wonderful services, including graphic design. But what I found was most thrilling was the fact that you could hire their monsters for public events and parties. I thought that was really cool. But I had to stop and think about whether or not that was just a seasonal thing, or of it was all year long.
 
Most people who have known me for the past year and a half now, know that I found this thing called “Monster Escorts”. Certainly it wasn’t how it sounded, right?!? So I sent a message inquiring about that particular service.
 
The language was a bit stiff, no pun intended. I was told that “Monster Escorts” was for more of an intimate time. That did not help!! Because the zombie chick in the photo of this blog post, I saw from others who went and took pictures, I became intrigued by.
 
Since I knew last year that I would not get the opportunity to go to the House of Torment to go get my picture taken with this actress, I wondered if their “Monster Escorts” would allow that chance for me to meet up with her and then I would have pictures taken.
 
Very wisely, I asked them to elaborate on what “intimate” meant. It was quickly explained that it was referring to more of a one-on-one scenario, like going on a date to the movies or out to dinner, rather than having a whole bunch of monsters come out at the same time. It would be just one monster to make an appearance.
 
Naturally, each monster comes with their own “handler” as they called it. Of course for safety reasons. That didn’t bother me too much. But I never got specific when I inquired to ask whether or not I would get the chance to see this particular actress in an intimate setting.
 
For the longest time, I contemplated the whole idea. It was kind of hard to take that it would cost $200/hour. But a business is a business. And they are to make money. I just couldn’t make up my own mind on whether or not I wanted to go through with it.
 
So I asked for a general consensus on Facebook. I said that if I received 40 ‘likes’ on that particular status that I would go through with it and some how manage the money to set up a date with a zombie chick. I only got 17.
 
Still though, the thought intrigues me again as the season is not that far away. Whether or not they will still be offering the escort services, I do not know. I will have to find out.
 
What are your thoughts? Should I go for it or should I just leave it alone? Leave your thoughts in the comment section.
 
But it is coming. The unforgiving heat of June is telling me that once the unbearable weather disappears, then the House of Torment will be open for business yet again. It is something I can look forward to as I lie here miserable in the heat and the relentless use of air conditioning. Something that I can focus on positively.
 
I suddenly just find myself totally stoked and pumped for it to come! I can’t wait!! Time to get my scare on a little early.
 
 
 
 
 

Today, I must say farewell to my trusty friend. It truly was my companion. It took me wherever I wanted to go. I had some good times with it. But now its time to carry on without it.

My wheelchair broke this afternoon. Fortunately I was not in it when it decided to give up the ghost. It was in the process of being loaded into the back of a truck when it spun its last revolution.

It suddenly had become wobbly and so when it was set back down on the ground, parts of it had come undone and the X-frame was no longer in its capable position. Rather though one of the bars came right through the bottom of the wheelchair.

We gathered that I definitely would have fallen at the time of its collapse, and it probably would have done some very serious physical damage to my body as I sank with gravity to the ground. Some way, some how, I would have been impaled. I am just thankful that I was already inside of the truck when it happened. So, no impaling today. Vlad Țepeș must be so disappointed in his grave.

I actually laughed when I saw it in its warped state. I didn’t panic because I knew I had other older wheelchairs stored away, but after a few hours of sitting in the secondary chair, its not so funny anymore to me.

Now I am sitting in a wheelchair where the front right wheel shakes like that same old grocery cart you always seem to find at Wal-Mart. It never stops shaking!!

The one that bit the dust was in fact a newer chair. I’ve barely had it for a year, maybe a year and a half. Now its only good for spare parts. It is true what they say, “Don’t know what you got, until its gone.”

I think that it sucks because I have to find one of the older chairs now and try to get used to them and adapt to how they work. The one I am sitting in at the moment really hurts my poor little butt!

So sad today could have been. But I am fine and in good health. No injuries or anything like that.

Now if only the apartment manager will loan me a shovel so I can bury the one that died today in the yard.

Everyone’s life is full of joy, love, good times, bad times, heartache, agony, and everything in between. I constantly hear some body say, “Your life would make a great movie or book.” That may be, however I think that everyone’s life has moments where it would be wonderful to share with the rest of the world.

So let me share this story with you. A story of what I consider to be a bit of comedy and a bit of human ignorance.

Fact: I have calluses on my hands. They come from years and years and years of using a wheelchair for mobility. That’s just the way it is.

So I took off on an adventure this afternoon in the warm, humid weather of the day. I would guess that going back and forth, was probably about a mile and a half. When I got home (or at least on the property to where I live), I noticed and brand new callous on my right thumb.

Right now, it kinda hurts. Its new and eventually it will harden like the rest of them on my hands. But its fresh right at the moment and so … yes, I’m a bit annoyed about it because it’s a bit inconvenient.

I ran into someone on the street, asking if I needed help pushing myself to where I was going. With me having difficulty moving with this new development on my thumb, I was not moving as fast as I was when I first started out today. I suppose that this person was only being considerate and trying to be helpful.

I respectfully declined their assistance and thanked them. I told them that the only reason why I was not moving as fast as I could was because my thumb was hurting. I showed them the source of inconvenience and then they suddenly had a list of questions to try to solve the mystery of my newly developed “injury”.

They were curious as to where I was going and where I have been. I told them that I gone up the hill, down the street and back. I DO have weight lifting gloves that I wear whenever I leave the house, but the fingertips are not covered by the gloves and therefore the thumb ended up getting it.

But what I had actually SAID, was “I walked up the street, over the hill and walked back.”

They dared to correct my story. Saying that I did NOT “walk” at all.

I was therefore baffled. Who is this person trying to correct and edit a story that did not happen to them personally, but only to me? What in the world came over them to insist upon that I did not “walk”? OF COURSE I DIDN’T!!

These kinds of things just really are amazing to me. What university did this person go to, that hands out degrees to allow them to correct other people? Now if I had said something totally in error grammatically, I would have understood that.

People with disabilities who commonly have the use of a wheelchair, just commonly use the same pattern of speech as anyone else. Yes, we do say “I walked to there.” We don’t need anyone to tell us that we actually didn’t! Its something we already know!!

Moron!

I believe that this is a very good example of someone who does not have a mouth filter and doesn’t realize what they are saying could actually be offensive. To some people with disabilities- its almost insulting.

To be fair though it could be that I am a bit over-sensitive about it. And should really just blow them off. It gets exhausting though to roll my eyes at these things because it happens so frequently. My eyeballs start to hurt! If it happens enough times, I will probably have my eyes stuck in the back of my head. Then I’ll have to go get that corrected and then I will be able to post a blog about what the back of the inside of the skull really looks like to the “human eye”.

So maybe this particular event is not really “film worthy”. I would personally tend to believe that my post, “Man vs. boy” would rather be more fitting to that description for some wild laughs and humor. Drama is not my best or favorite forté.

Think before you speak!