“Hey, I fool the camera. I’m a liar, a magician.”~Janice Dickinson

Before I get started and it turns to June 26th, I want to say HAPPY 25TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY TO MY FATHER AND STEPMOTHER, AS THEY WERE MARRIED ON JUNE 25, 1988.

I’ve been watching my  niece an awful lot already and its barely the official start of summer. I’ve got so much going on in August that I am trying to save enough money to do everything that I want to do.  The problem is that I do not think that I will have enough money to do all that I want. I am going to be short. And it sucks.

When I am watching that three year old child niece o’mine, comes the opportunity to listen to her favorite cartoons.

One of them deals with talking bunnies attempting to put on a magic show in the front yard. The children are always asking for a volunteer from the audience in order to do their magic tricks.

I’ll SPARE you the rest of the details that has nothing to do with this blog post.

As this crap is irrevocably burned into my brain, it just causes me to reflect on some rather unusual magician experiences that I’ve had as a child.

As a child, I HATED magicians. I HATED-HATED-HATED them!!! They could just all die and go away for all I cared to think about.  As an adult, I just avoid them. I do not waste my money.0

I especially hated the illusion of sawing a woman in half. It always bugged me. And luckily I had only seen it in person ONCE. The rest were on television.

But the time that I had to witness it with my very eyes, was back in the real early 1990’s where I was front & center row. The magician kept talking about his beautifully gorgeous assistant, and then he sawed her in half.

I never understood this illusion as a child. If you have a perfectly good woman who is beautifully gorgeous, wouldn’t you want to kiss her rather than cut her into pieces?

Ohh, how innocent my mind was growing up as a child. But back to the 1990’s.

The magician had a huge saw and started cutting into the box in which his assistant rested. But when he got to a certain point, the beautifully gorgeous assistant let out a blood curdling scream that stuck with me. He stopped then kept sawing until he had her into two pieces.

The screaming was all part of the act, I would learn later on. halfed

But after that illusion he asked for a volunteer from the audience. Stupid bunnies!!

This man who was also in the front row raised his hand and the magician called upon him. But before the man reached the stage area to join the magician, there was someone else in the audience cursing and screaming and yelling and everything else. He was totally causing a scene.

What the screaming man had done was effectively ended this magician’s career. Here’s the story and I’ll go back even further to more childhood terrors.

This man who was screaming had purchased tickets to this place and they box office messed up and gave him tickets to the WRONG show and he missed his favorite singer when they came to town. He was infuriated and gave threats to sue the box office.

In an effort to make things up to him, they offered him free tickets to any other even that was happening that year.

Well, he already purchased tickets to this magician’s show and he enjoyed himself the first time that he got those free tickets for another magic show the following night. The night that I was there.

What he had found out was that the guy that he picked as a  volunteer was the same exact guy that had been picked from the last show. The guy in the audience was part of it all, just wore different clothes day to day.

The guy who was awarded free tickets caught this magician’s lie and called him out on it. END OF SHOW.

The magician pretty much lost his career after that and the man that called him out was arrested for being disorderly.

But even long before that, I remember being in school and being forced to go into the school’s gymnasium to watch a magic act. The magician did his act and made the rest of the children laugh and enjoy the show. But something was up. Some of the children in the older grades were yelling at him to turn the props around.

Wouldn’t you know it, that they were props with yellow and blue bunnies painted on them when they had previously been red and green before he covered them up and did his little magic.

Get this. Someone caught on to his deception. And the entire gymnasium was yelling at the guy to turn this around. But he acted as if he didn’t understand. So he had one student come up to the stage to do what the crowd was wanting. Sure enough: One bunny was RED on one side and turned around, YELLOW on the other. The other bunny proper was GREEN on one side and turned around, BLUE on the other.

Deception had failed. Children started to BOO him. I figured he deserved it because of the fact that he got caught. But there were a lot of children that day that got into trouble for booing him. Teachers stating that to boo someone, was being disrespectful.

I still think he deserved it.

And I am going to think of these stories for as long as that lousy cartoon DVD is still around and I am watching my niece.

Damned rabbits!!!!!!

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