The Wheelchair Wars

“We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”~ Winston Churchill

I don’t think that I have ever felt such frustration as I am about to write about in all of my life as an adult. Eventually this will go away, but this blog has always had the original intent to be my therapy so buckle up.

And before you start going on and on about how fighting is never the answer. Yeah, I know that. You just need to keep reading.

I went out the other night and I ran into this woman that I had not seen in a very long time. Someone that I have wanted to see more of but never actually do.

And while she did hang out with me for part of the night, I did notice that she would disappear off and on. I didn’t know if she was going to the restroom, or going to the bar, or going outside to smoke, or anything.

I will spare you the boring and long details of the evening, but I will mention that I was making the moves, and I planned to see just how far it would go and to see where I stand with her.

But during her frequent disappearances I noticed that when I looked around for her that she was standing there talking to another man who also was in a wheelchair. That guy and I would pass by each other a lot and he always was giving me dirty looks. I tried to engage him in conversation but he never said a word to me. I even threw him a compliment and still got nothing.

However after I decided to make a move, I noticed that whenever she was socializing or doing whatever it was with the other guy, he was doing the same stuff I was doing.

What in the world?!?!?!??

The woman is beautiful. She’s going to gain attention, I get that. But I felt like this guy was taking away from me and taking for himself.

This non-verbal, non-physical altercation of an event was happening.

Physically speaking… even though he and I lack severely in that department, he still had a bigger build than I. If he and I were to stand up and face each other, he would in fact be much larger than I in all capacities.

At that point I knew that if something between he and I broke out, he would have the advantage and probably the victory. But as time went on, I realized that he kept drinking and this was actually causing him to become weaker and ultimately a burden for anyone surrounding him.

At times when I would actually go and seek her out and find her with him, he gave even more dirty looks towards my direction. I took it as a non-verbal threat. This shit is not cool!!

Towards the end of the night, this woman did come to me to tell me that she was leaving. I offered to walk her outside so I knew she was safe, but she emphatically refused my offer.

She left, and then shortly after the other guy left. But I cannot definitively tell you that they left together.  I don’t know that.

I realize that I live in a certain corner of society where it is the survival of the fittest. I know that it is winner take all. But what people don’t realize about this kind of world, for who do not live the same as I do that it is an understatement to say that it is brutal.

Two men fighting go at it until there is a clear loser. We always hear about how if two women fight that it is even worse because they never fight fair.. pulling hair, clawing each other and so on. It is not pretty.

So then let me explain that if two disabled people are in a physical fight, it is far worse than you have ever seen!!

Because of the fact that they are disabled to begin with, they fight like they have nothing in the world to lose and everything to gain. They literally fight to the death. The only two ways that a fight between two physically disabled people come to an end is if someone steps in and breaks it up, or the victor realizes that their opponent is near death and they don’t want to go to jail or have that on their minds for the rest of their lives.

Disabled people already are engaged in a fight for their lives because of all that we have to deal with in daily life. Going down in a blaze of glory for something we want to have or to protect is not a second thought. There have been too many times where I have found myself in that situation and I did what I did to make sure that I protected myself.

Now that a few days have passed, I think about how I probably could have taken this other guy down after realizing that he had too much to drink and probably couldn’t fend for himself that much.  But I never went after him for it. I also knew that starting a war with him from the moment that I saw what was going on would have been a personal disaster for me. I am still pissed off about it. And I could probably blame everyone and everything. Him, her, and myself included.

Some of you reading this might say that she’s not worth it. But I think that it is worth something because if I had not done anything I would never find out for sure where she and I stand, or could stand because there is no omelets without breaking any eggs.

Carpe diem, baby!

My Hair Got Me An Additional Discount

“Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.”~E. W. Howe

A few days ago, my computer basically gave up.

The power would not turn on. I was stuck.

So with the help of family, I was able to run out and go look for another one.

I only needed the machine. The tower, if you will.

After several minutes of spending half of my time looking over machines and the other half of trying to hear what my nephew was telling me, I finally heard the voice of one of the employees.

“Looking for a new computer?” Geez, Einstein. Good guess! I don’t know how you did it!!

I noticed a pattern that from right to left, the price would go down. So obviously I kept moving left but kept in mind that I wanted and needed specifics in the machine.

The employee moved me back over towards the right and showed me a machine that he felt was a good one. Stating that he had it before in the past, similar to it.

Okay well that is all good and everything. This machine that was presented to me had a price of $129.95.. not bad at all.

I had gone in there with a budget. I was only going to spend so much. And I could afford that, but would anyone actually buy it if they could get it for a lower price?

A few moments later, I pretty much found a machine that was nearly 100% the same machine that I had at home that stopped working. My reasoning was: This is what I have, and I am fine with it, just replace it and start over.

This similar machine was $89.95, so cheaper than the one I was shown.

I checked its specs and I was satisfied with it, and I had picked it up and went to purchase it.

My nephew and I just stood there waiting for someone, anyone to come complete the transaction.

Finally the same guy shows up and he begins to go through the process of checkout. But little did I know that there was a “paper work” involved, so it took some time to go through and he said “We’re not ready for the cash part yet. Put your wallet down.”

He then checked the price tag to scan it, and literally shouted at me.

“This is not the same computer. This has a core 2, the one I showed you has a core 3… much faster!”

Rudeness, anyone?? I told him I was on a budget. To which he snapped “Doing budget computers, eh?” Dude whatever, shut up and finish the transaction.

Well as the saying goes, it was my lucky day. This week and this week only…  everything was 20% off.

And so the guy had to tell the computer to take off the discount.

He did not specifically ask me if I was. He did not ask to see any forms of identification to show my age. He had already made the assumption. Either that or he was just trying to be super nice to me. But apparently there was an additional 10% off for those customers 55 and over.

The only response I gave him after he told me that he put the additional discount on when he handed me my receipt and change was: “Every little bit helps!” I had no idea he had done that until I paid.

My newly purchased computer, complete with taxes and everything else was a whopping $68.16 total. Well within the money I had budgeted.

I took the computer and my nephew and left and caught up with my sister and showed her the machine and then showed her the receipt.

Then I sent a message to my brother, telling him the same story. Both of my siblings had the same response “It is because of your grey and white hair.”

The moral of the story… don’t be so vain about your hair changing colors naturally. It is going to happen any way. And sometimes it can work in your favor.

It Still Works: The Legacy

“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”~ Gilbert K. Chesterton
 

Yep, you are reading this right. IT STILL WORKS.

This is a t-shirt that I had custom made recently this year. And it serves well for many purposes. But its legacy has taken off.

First, an explanation as to why it exists.

As an adult with a disability, I can safely say that I have had a lot of people come up to me and ask a lot of questions. Some innocently out of their own ignorance. But A LOT of personal questions that are downright stupid.

With children, the most popular question I get is: What happened to your legs?

Innocent enough. I answer the best that I can. Or I just tell them “That’s how I was born.”

With adults, the most popular question I get (outside of “What happened?”) would be something like:

Can you still do it? Does your dick work? Can you have sex? Can you feel “down there?”

Anything like that.

Trust me, it is really annoying. Especially since it is none of their business. Considering that a vast majority of the people asking, I will never see again in my lifetime.

So I decided to answer the question once and for all.

Honestly, I have not had a single person come up to me asking that kind of question ever since I wore the shirt out in public the first couple of times. Of course there have been some people who have seen it and read it, thinking with dirty minds. It was something that I anticipated to happen. And I just deal with the laughter and snickering that people think that I cannot hear behind my back.

Now let me tell what has happened since I started wearing the shirt in public.

As expected, I have a lot of people tell me that they like the shirt, as they sit there and laugh real hard until they can no longer breathe.

A few times I have had people come up to me, asking to take a photograph of it. In which I do not have a problem with.

I went out last night to watch the band AUTUMN STAY play a show at the Dirty Dog Bar wearing the shirt. And the legacy took off with a whole new chapter.

Before the show even got started, two people who said that they loved the shirt buy me drinks. One of which happened to be the touring band that was in town. The other an employee of a different bar next door.

It didn’t stop the entire night. Drink after drink after drink after drink. Included with so many people asking to take photos. And of course…. I never really know where those photos end up.

As the night continued, more and more drinks and more and more photos. I didn’t have to spend ANY money on refreshments last night. And it was very very HOT, now that it is June in Texas. I think the temperature reached 100°F for the first time in 2017. Hydration was very important last night.

I had several people passing by continually expressing to me that they liked the shirt up and down Sixth Street. And a few women came up to me asking what it meant. As if that was not obvious enough. And other women were either brave enough or drunk enough to end up kissing me!!!

To this day, I have not had anyone challenge me to find out whether or not I am lying. I mean of course it works. If I cannot go through the process of urination, I am in trouble!!!! But yes I know what this hints at. And its supposed to. It has more than one function, perverts.

Before there was a time when someone would ask me if it works, I would answer “There’s only one way to find out!” but nobody ever followed through on that. And that is probably a blessing in disguise.

The only problem that I can see wearing the shirt is that some story randomly finds my family. But they already know about it. I told my parents, and all I got back in response was a chuckle. Especially from my father. So really, I am good.

Stay tuned for more adventures of It Still Works as it travels into the world.

A Massive Thank You

I wanted to take this extra time that I have to express my deep appreciation to those of you who are reading this that helped in the assistance of getting a new wheelchair.

I began the goal of reaching a very meager $3,000 but then realized that with fees and what not, I would not receive that amount if I received that equally in donations. So I raised it to $3,500.

To be very honest with everyone, I honestly believed that I would only receive a few hundred dollars.

The $3,500 goal was raised in TWO AND A HALF DAYS! And what was even more shocking than ever was the fact that even though I had reached that goal in such a short amount of time that I still received very generous donations. 100 donations came close to $4,300!

It has been a month or more since the last online donation, and as of last week, I have been talking to someone through Twitter who still wishes to give another $100 via personal donation.

Trust me when I say that I wept for days. Emotional would not even begin to describe it.

For those of you who donated, I cannot thank you enough. For those of you who shared the link to the donation website, I deeply appreciate it. The response was overwhelming.

The donation page is still active. But I believe at this point, I would be shocked to receive any more.

I also was able to set up a different page in which people can order a t-shirt with a hashtag that I commonly use in all of my social media. If there is any interest in that, I can provide information.

In the rare chance that I am wrong about no longer receiving donations, I will add that money to the up keep and maintenance of the new wheelchair that I had to buy in haste as the loaner wheelchair gave out on me rather quickly.

So thank you so very much from the bottom of my butt…. since its much much larger than my heart in size!!!

Balls Of Steel

 

“A really strong woman accepts the war she went through and is ennobled by her scars. “~ Carly Simon

In the mess that is current life, I was feeling very determined to come back for all of you and share a tale during the lull of commotion and weirdness.

A story you may find humor in, and that’s okay. And others might find astounding.

For those of you who watch “The Walking Dead” you might be reminded of the one liner that Negan says: “You got some beach ball-size lady-nuts on you, coming in all kamikaze like that.”

This is one story that I feel would illicit a very similar response.

Last Friday (Cinco de Mayo) I went out to downtown Austin to see some live music. Three varying musical acts in three different venues. The last of which I have spoken about when I was doing concert reviews on this blog.

With most bands comes merchandise. With merchandise comes the responsibility of someone to watch over it all and take part in the transactions of sales.

I was sitting around waiting for the music to begin and I felt something strange come over me as if someone was watching.

I gazed over at the merch tables and a young woman was gazing what I thought could have been in my direction. She seemed happy and content in her little chair. Smiling and waving. But I was not 100% sure if she was waving at me or at someone behind me. I was not very close, probably twenty feet away so there could have been anyone in that line of sight that she was communicating with.

I went past her on the way to the rest room, but I was not paying her any attention and she shouted out to get my attention. However this being a live music venue, I could not understand what she was saying. So I moved on ignoring her.

I returned to my usual place near front and center of the stage and I noticed movement from the table, her eyes locked on me the entire time. I knew she was about to come over to me.

Unfortunately, she had no idea that she was actually invading my personal space. Since I did not know her, I didn’t make a fuss about it.

And then suddenly …………. LET THE GAME BEGIN.

She leaned over into my ear and asked if I knew how to slow dance. The band was playing a slow song so it was an appropriate question for the time. I shook my head no.

The next question was straight to the point. Are you married?

Wow!!!

Time for situation control. Since she was in my personal space and I was actually getting uncomfortable, I told her that I was married. I had hoped she would at least take a few steps back. All I got in response was this loud “Awwww!” and she promptly and swiftly returned to her post at the table.

A little while later in between bands, I stepped outside to watch people and grab some fresh air. Wouldn’t you know it, she came outside and headed straight for me!!! Charging like Custer’s Last Stand.

Again, she wasted no time in asking where my wife was. I simply said “she was not here” and she nodded. Then very sheepishly asked if she could give me a hug.

After lying to her twice… I began to feel rotten. So I allowed her request. To which she slipped her arms around my neck and squeezed very tight. The side of my face buried into her chest for a couple of seconds before she let go.

She stood there, hanging on to my wheelchair in awkward silence. Again in my personal space so I turned my head the opposite direction. Several minutes passed and neither one of us was talking until finally she let go and returned inside.

She and I would exchange glances again and she blew one more kiss. I waved back.

I thought about this experience a few hours later and I began to realize something about her. Something that I felt was very unique and special about this young woman.

We always talk about those creepy people that come after us, but we never hear about those who choose to be respectful in their approach. So much to the point that all these warnings we hear about people that we begin to question every little motive of everyone else.

One thing was for sure. She knew what she was looking for and she went for it. The moment she realized the answer was NO, she stopped and went no further.

At the moment I said to her that “my wife was not here” she honestly could have hinted or insisted on participating in something on the side. But she did not. She left it alone. She obtained the information she was seeking and dropped it.

I also want to point out that she was full of courage in going after what she was wanting or at least curious about. She followed through. And looking back on it now, it was a different and refreshing approach as she had more guts than a lot of single MEN that I know. From personal experiences and listening to other men talking about this issue, there are so many men who lack that kind of confidence.

I want to say that I know a lot of men who could really learn from this young woman.

Broken Wheelchair, Final Push

Before I dare to mention anything that went on during SXSW 2017, I must address the issue that my wheelchair broke and has rendered me essentially home bound until the situation is taken care of.

Sadly less than two years of having a brand new wheelchair paid for by insurances, the front wheel bit the dust and I went spilling onto the floor H.A.M.

For the past two days, I have been doing what I can to bring this to the attention of many people to help get a brand new wheelchair, as well as have the old one repaired.

I started a GoFundMe campaign and for the first two days has done extremely well. If you donated and you are reading this, THANK YOU from the bottom of my butt, because its bigger than my heart.

The goal is in sight now. It is so close to being reached. It is in the final push now.

If you can, donate. Donate & SHARE. With your help, we can tackle the last bit that is left… the part that will pay for fees and other expenses in addition to the cost of repairs and the cost of a new wheelchair. This time, it is personal!!!

Anything helps. Donate here.

Thank you.

Knocking On Porno’s Door

“The best luck of all is the luck you make for yourself.”~ Douglas MacArthur

I am going to have to keep this rather short. This really isn’t the time or  space for an “all out” post with the steamiest of details.

The past weekend, I traveled to Houston, Texas once again. For the first time in well over a year!! Yes, I went to see SIX MINUTE CENTURY.

But this doesn’t have anything to do with the band, the friends, the love, or the fellowship. It has to deal with the hotel that I was staying in the two nights I was there.

When I arrived in town, the memory of the place came back to me. But I still to this day, cannot remember which side are odd numbered rooms and which are evens. The last several times I’ve stayed, were almost always numbered rooms ending in an odd number.

Not this time though.

Room 120. Important to the story.

As I began to settle in for the first day/night of my stay, I roamed around the property of the hotel, bypassing the swimming pool.. Laughing to myself because of what happened with a swimming pool the last time I went near one.As I gazed up, I saw several people hovering around the edge of the pool. One gentleman holding a hand-held video camera. I knew instantly what was happening.

I ignored it at first. But when I was back in my room, a few minutes later I could hear a horrendous roar of moaning, screaming, shouting, and overall noises of explicit ecstasy. Yep, someone nearby was going at it like rabbits.

Wouldn’t you know it, it was all going on in Room 118.

Yes… right next door to me!!!

Finally, it stopped. And the curiosity was killing me. I heard a door open. I dashed for my room door and yes I was able to catch them all coming out. Two girls wearing bathrobes caked and drowned in make-up all over their face. One man with just a towel around his waist and pink slippers. And another man standing there, smoking.

A conversation began.

I think that I spooked them really bad because I told them that I knew who they were in general, and I knew what they were doing there at the hotel. The looks on all of their faces were of absolute terror.

I had taken the upper hand.

I asked what the name of their website was. They scoffed at me, playing as if they did not know what I was talking about. They weren’t very good at lying.

Then I started to play with their minds even more. I told them that if they needed something larger to work with, to stop by. I said nothing more. I gave one last look at the females of the group and went back inside to my own hotel room and kept my business to myself.

45 minutes later, they knocked. Full of inquiry. And bringing offerings of food…. good timing considering that I was hungry and the obvious plans for dinner that were obviously never going to happen in the first place were not happening.

The next day, I ran into them again as I was getting ready for the day to spend with SIX MINUTE CENTURY and most importantly, my best friends. I heard comments coming from them … something about “That was amazing.” and “I can’t hardly walk straight, or at all.”

These are the things of legend. The things of fantasy. The stories that are told only in magazines, books, and novels. But this honestly and truly happened.