My Hair Got Me An Additional Discount

“Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.”~E. W. Howe

A few days ago, my computer basically gave up.

The power would not turn on. I was stuck.

So with the help of family, I was able to run out and go look for another one.

I only needed the machine. The tower, if you will.

After several minutes of spending half of my time looking over machines and the other half of trying to hear what my nephew was telling me, I finally heard the voice of one of the employees.

“Looking for a new computer?” Geez, Einstein. Good guess! I don’t know how you did it!!

I noticed a pattern that from right to left, the price would go down. So obviously I kept moving left but kept in mind that I wanted and needed specifics in the machine.

The employee moved me back over towards the right and showed me a machine that he felt was a good one. Stating that he had it before in the past, similar to it.

Okay well that is all good and everything. This machine that was presented to me had a price of $129.95.. not bad at all.

I had gone in there with a budget. I was only going to spend so much. And I could afford that, but would anyone actually buy it if they could get it for a lower price?

A few moments later, I pretty much found a machine that was nearly 100% the same machine that I had at home that stopped working. My reasoning was: This is what I have, and I am fine with it, just replace it and start over.

This similar machine was $89.95, so cheaper than the one I was shown.

I checked its specs and I was satisfied with it, and I had picked it up and went to purchase it.

My nephew and I just stood there waiting for someone, anyone to come complete the transaction.

Finally the same guy shows up and he begins to go through the process of checkout. But little did I know that there was a “paper work” involved, so it took some time to go through and he said “We’re not ready for the cash part yet. Put your wallet down.”

He then checked the price tag to scan it, and literally shouted at me.

“This is not the same computer. This has a core 2, the one I showed you has a core 3… much faster!”

Rudeness, anyone?? I told him I was on a budget. To which he snapped “Doing budget computers, eh?” Dude whatever, shut up and finish the transaction.

Well as the saying goes, it was my lucky day. This week and this week only…  everything was 20% off.

And so the guy had to tell the computer to take off the discount.

He did not specifically ask me if I was. He did not ask to see any forms of identification to show my age. He had already made the assumption. Either that or he was just trying to be super nice to me. But apparently there was an additional 10% off for those customers 55 and over.

The only response I gave him after he told me that he put the additional discount on when he handed me my receipt and change was: “Every little bit helps!” I had no idea he had done that until I paid.

My newly purchased computer, complete with taxes and everything else was a whopping $68.16 total. Well within the money I had budgeted.

I took the computer and my nephew and left and caught up with my sister and showed her the machine and then showed her the receipt.

Then I sent a message to my brother, telling him the same story. Both of my siblings had the same response “It is because of your grey and white hair.”

The moral of the story… don’t be so vain about your hair changing colors naturally. It is going to happen any way. And sometimes it can work in your favor.

It Still Works: The Legacy

“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”~ Gilbert K. Chesterton
 

Yep, you are reading this right. IT STILL WORKS.

This is a t-shirt that I had custom made recently this year. And it serves well for many purposes. But its legacy has taken off.

First, an explanation as to why it exists.

As an adult with a disability, I can safely say that I have had a lot of people come up to me and ask a lot of questions. Some innocently out of their own ignorance. But A LOT of personal questions that are downright stupid.

With children, the most popular question I get is: What happened to your legs?

Innocent enough. I answer the best that I can. Or I just tell them “That’s how I was born.”

With adults, the most popular question I get (outside of “What happened?”) would be something like:

Can you still do it? Does your dick work? Can you have sex? Can you feel “down there?”

Anything like that.

Trust me, it is really annoying. Especially since it is none of their business. Considering that a vast majority of the people asking, I will never see again in my lifetime.

So I decided to answer the question once and for all.

Honestly, I have not had a single person come up to me asking that kind of question ever since I wore the shirt out in public the first couple of times. Of course there have been some people who have seen it and read it, thinking with dirty minds. It was something that I anticipated to happen. And I just deal with the laughter and snickering that people think that I cannot hear behind my back.

Now let me tell what has happened since I started wearing the shirt in public.

As expected, I have a lot of people tell me that they like the shirt, as they sit there and laugh real hard until they can no longer breathe.

A few times I have had people come up to me, asking to take a photograph of it. In which I do not have a problem with.

I went out last night to watch the band AUTUMN STAY play a show at the Dirty Dog Bar wearing the shirt. And the legacy took off with a whole new chapter.

Before the show even got started, two people who said that they loved the shirt buy me drinks. One of which happened to be the touring band that was in town. The other an employee of a different bar next door.

It didn’t stop the entire night. Drink after drink after drink after drink. Included with so many people asking to take photos. And of course…. I never really know where those photos end up.

As the night continued, more and more drinks and more and more photos. I didn’t have to spend ANY money on refreshments last night. And it was very very HOT, now that it is June in Texas. I think the temperature reached 100°F for the first time in 2017. Hydration was very important last night.

I had several people passing by continually expressing to me that they liked the shirt up and down Sixth Street. And a few women came up to me asking what it meant. As if that was not obvious enough. And other women were either brave enough or drunk enough to end up kissing me!!!

To this day, I have not had anyone challenge me to find out whether or not I am lying. I mean of course it works. If I cannot go through the process of urination, I am in trouble!!!! But yes I know what this hints at. And its supposed to. It has more than one function, perverts.

Before there was a time when someone would ask me if it works, I would answer “There’s only one way to find out!” but nobody ever followed through on that. And that is probably a blessing in disguise.

The only problem that I can see wearing the shirt is that some story randomly finds my family. But they already know about it. I told my parents, and all I got back in response was a chuckle. Especially from my father. So really, I am good.

Stay tuned for more adventures of It Still Works as it travels into the world.