man-walking-away (1)

158 days and then it was all over, as I nervously walked away.

“It’s OKAY to BE WEAK…….We aren’t robots. We live, laugh, love, screw up, start over, do better, blow it, then try again. I do. And there is a blessing to being weak. It offers others the gift of being strong for us. When we allow others to help us, we are giving them a gift. We feel good when we can help others. Why would others be different? So many of you take time to comment, encourage, offer help and you guys make me better each day……We are not alone.” — K. Lamb

Dear readers, take some time to read this:

http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/is-your-life-out-of-control-what-can-we-do-when-nothing-is-going-right/

Today is the first day to the rest of my life! It was the last paragraph of that particular chapter of my life. I felt no choice but to walk away. Today was for certain going to be the first day of second-guessing, self-destructive loathing, and everything inside of the kitchen sink.

And then this morning was this blog by Kristen Lamb. e1f57c9

I lived, I loved, and then I screwed it all up. And fell down… all the while putting on the act that I wasn’t hurting, and putting every blame on the other person because THEY were the ones who were hurting me. Not bothering to see that even though I was drinking the poison by the bucket, but when I was done with that daily bucket, I was shooting it also into my arm, causing self-inflicted pain and destruction.

Once I threw away the syringe and dropped the buckets to the ground and refused to take another drop, I thought that I had to wait for whatever was in my system to run its course.

Kristen’s post had given to a me a real hard kick that I needed to release any residual poison from my system.

It is okay to be human. After all, that is who we all are and are nothing else!!

And so it begins RIGHT NOW that new chapter, that new paragraph on a brand new page. Yes it is scary as hell because I am facing a new day without that dose of poison and I don’t know what will happen but if I allow myself to be strong for me and help me, then most assuredly I will be okay.

I will give all the credit today to Kristen. Be sure to check out her entire blog. She’s one of the funniest women that I’ve almost met.

Kristen Lamb’s WANA World of Warriors

Comments
  1. Oh we get on these crazy treadmills and have no idea why we are angry and worn out ((HUGS))

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