Patience Can Pay Off

Posted: October 6, 2011 in Uncategorized
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“Some things just take longer than others. We are only as strong as our patience allows.”
Let’s face it, we don’t always get what we want but we will always get what we need and when that time comes for us to have it, then it will come. Yet not a lot of us on planet Earth have the patience or want to be patient.
It may be a new job or a new car or home, or it could even be the smaller things in life that we want, usually feel we deserve, and still we never seem to get it. And we usually don’t because we do not want to wait any more for it to just fall into our laps. We go out on our own and try to change fate, and then end up just screwing up our lives because we didn’t have the patience.
I spoke in length with a guy today, who is so desperate for many things to happen in his life that it literally destroys the inside of his body to the point of depression. I listened to him complain about how life sucks and he’s done fairly well so far and he just cannot seem to get ahead. But by getting ahead he meant that there were things missing in his life that he really wants so bad. More specifically, he talked about wanting to have a relationship with a woman. Something that would be long term.
The more he thought about it and talked about it, the faster he would speak. The faster he would speak, the more times he would get tongue-tied and the more he got tongue-tied the more frustrated he would become. He would stop, take a breath, but then he would apologize by saying, “If I had a girlfriend, this wouldn’t be happening to me.”
I didn’t say anything to him but I disagreed. The way he behaved caused me to believe that if he actually had a stable relationship with a woman and he got this excited, he’d be changing his pants every 30 minutes.
That actually is not an apology but rather him making excuses for himself. But nonetheless that is what he asserts himself to believe.
I told him that he couldn’t rush things like that in his life. And unfortunately my responses to him where nothing that he truly wanted to hear. So he was not really appreciating what I was telling him. And of course he questioned what authority that I have on the matter because I too, am single.
Finding love cannot be rushed. Heck, a large majority of us don’t even really know what love is. At least not the kind of love that we think we are looking for. Love is not little fat chubby kids in diapers and wings with an archery set strapped to their backs just waiting to hit you as their target. Love is not what television, movies, and media portray it to be either.
We hunt for this sociological ideal of love, believing that we know what to look for but in the end we may or may not have involved ourselves in a relationship by that point… but surely it was just as fleeting as the last sneezing fit you had from your last allergy attack. It was there, and now its gone.
In this world of technological advances of “quicker, faster, larger” we often make the mistake that the rest of the aspects of life should always be in tune with everything else. But again, I’m talking about technology. Not feelings and emotions for another person that is reciprocated back. After all, you COULD go out and build yourself a partner, but the lack of emotions that it would give you would definitely cause you to still feel lonely in the end. And seriously, not all of us has the money to go out and buy a robotic partner.
This guy knows what he wants (in a sense). His career goals are set and he is well on his way to reaching them. He is just lacking the human emotion and feeling of having someone to come home to every evening. Someone to share with him. Many of us can sympathize.
He told the horror stories of how he has in the past been “successful” in finding a girlfriend or two, but he was unable to maintain the relationship for one reason or another. He actually went out and tried to force the hands of fate to give him what he wanted. And he either kept losing or he would find someone but they were not quite what he was needing or not everything that he was interested in or looking for was found within these women, so the relationships always ended in a complete disaster.
I felt bad for him because he tried to force things to happen and they blew up in his face. It was truly a shame. It wasn’t like he was some arrogant man, other than the fact that he wanted a woman and wanted it RIGHT NOW!! Everything else about him seemed to serene and pleasant. Because he is not patient, he falls prey to his loneliness quite often and it buries him into a sea of depression where he just wants to give up on everything in the world, and I don’t think he should think like that. Yet, he doesn’t want to be told to “wait”.
Sometimes the hardest things in life to hear are commonly the right ones. Why?? Because deep down we already know that they are right. And our own thinking is totally wrong, and we just don’t want to admit it.
I am single as well. Trust me, I don’t like it either! I would much rather have someone to spend my days and nights with. I think that my personality as being a very social person also has something to do with it. Yet I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life and yes, it really does suck being alone!! But I can’t force myself against women to spend time with me, because they will only resent me and in the end they’ll disappear and once again I’ll be lonely all over.
So I put my trust in being patient. Even if I don’t like it and think that it sucks.
Unfortunately for this guy, he’s on a cycle of repeated disaster relationships because he’s not thinking about anything but “getting to be with someone”. Relationships take a lot more work than just finding someone mutually agreeing to be with you. I hope he does well and I do hope that he will some day realize that if he just is patient a little while longer, then his wishes just may come true.
Things such as these have their own time. They come when they are best for us. And a lot of times its not when we want them the most. But they do eventually arrive. And on the other hand, we have to make sure that we nuture those things that come to us, to make sure that they grow steadily with us so that we can cherish them for as long as we can, instead of just taking everything that comes our way for granted. Because if we do that, then we surely will lose.

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