- such beautiful chaos at the House of Torment
The weather so far in June has been very uncomfortable for this part of the world. We’re used to the high temperatures and humidity of course, but this early in the season? It has been very dry and very hot. We normally do not get such weather until July or August. And then sometimes we deal with it through September.
I kept thinking to myself that all I had to do was make it to the Fourth of July weekend. And then it struck me: July, August, September, October.
Holy smokes!! I know the months of the year beginning in July ….. AND …… there’s only a few more months until the whole “Halloween Season” comes. But mainly the fact that the “House of Torment” will soon be auditioning for characters for the local haunted attraction.
For the past three seasons I have always wanted to audition to be a zombie or a monster at this nationally acclaimed haunted house. But I always had missed out because I didn’t know exactly when to go and audition. Not to mention not really knowing what they are looking for in a monster.
I had always thought that I could bring something to the table by sitting in my wheelchair, all disfigured and gross.. and just scare the crap out of people!! I mean, there are endless possibilities on how to do it. Trust me, I’ve spent a lot of time sitting around thinking about it. So I have been wanting to this for so long. Why not make it an equal opportunity scare business by employing the disabled? People get scared of me all of the time, but that’s because they are ignorant. In this way, I could give them a reason to be scared. But I digress.
Then about a year ago (after the Halloween season no less), I read an article that the House of Torment was looking for people. The article was written in the early part of August. I know that they go through an extensive training during that month and then they open their doors at the end of September and into early October and stay open until Halloween. At least that is how it is to the best of my knowledge.
Personally, I think its great because most haunted houses are only open on weekends during the month of October and some of them will extend their hours of operation during the week OF Halloween. But there has been a few seasons where the House of Torment opened their doors at the last part of September and kept them open every day for business until the first weekend of November.
What a great way to make a living. Even if it is for a short period of time in the calendar year. I can dress up, look horrible, scare people and get paid doing it for a couple of months.
But like I said, every year goes by and I never find out where I need to go or what I need to do, until it is too late and the advertisements are beginning to circulate and the very late night commericals are begining to air.
Allow me to tell you a story of my first (and probably last) experience with the House of Torment:
As a paying customer I went through the attraction to the best of my ability. These attractions really are not made for people with physical handicaps and wheelchairs because a lot of the times their sets are built on feeding a person’s fear of small and enclosed spaces. A lot of haunted attractions simply post bulletins that if you are handicapped, you won’t get in.
But that one time that I went, I did okay.
There is one character by the name of Mr. Creep. You can look him up online. Top hat, top coat, walking cane. A “posh monster”.
So anyways, I was in the attraction and I saw Mr. Creep… but thought he was only a prop. I didn’t pay attention to it much. I moved about the attraction but did not realize that Mr. Creep was following right behind me.
I heard something, and turned around. Mr. Creep was right there again standing in the same position as before. I thought that haunted house staff members were playing tricks with me by moving this prop everywhere I go.
After a few times of this silly little game, I decided to test it out and see if this was a person in a costume or a prop. So I did everything I could to make it move. Maybe blink. But nothing happened. I then put my hand in front of its nose and mouth. The actor knew very well to hold his breath. So then I was moving my arm, waving it in its face and then I mistakenly bumped my arm onto theirs. So Mr. Creep ended up moving.
In a blink of an eye, Mr. Creep screamed at me!
I turned around and I was GONE BABY, GONE!!!
I literally ran over the group of friends I went with, passed them up and then ran over two other groups of people in the attraction that were ahead of me, all the while knocking people over onto the floor, and out the door I went without stopping or looking back. Screaming like a little sissy girl in the process, the entire way out the door!
Apparently, Mr. Creep followed me every step of the way and thought it was so funny as he stood there in the doorway holding his sides and laughing hysterically and yet some how still able to stay in character.
I didn’t think it was that funny. At least not at the time. But I laugh about it now and don’t get so upset when I tell others this story and they start cracking up.
I never went back there again. At least not as an fear enthusiast and a customer. The attraction really isn’t that far away from where I live. I go by it all of the time- all year round.
But then how ironic is it that I am absolutely craving the opportunity for employment at a place that just about scared the piss out of me? Wild, wild stuff!
The Halloween season of 2010, I kept up with the House of Torment as much as possible. I never got a chance to go to the area, but I was so amped that it was opening up again. I talked with a lot of people who did go to the attraction and had them tell me their stories and experiences. I even contacted via the Internet about possible employment but never heard back from them. I guess they were already in full swing of operation by the time I had done so that they didn’t need any more help.
I joined message boards, profiles, whatever had their name on it. I watched YouTube videos of people’s visits… laughing every step of the way when someone was using a cell phone to record video and an unindentified monster or zombie that was NOT in frame would come up and yell “BOO!”.
Now I understand that Global Fear Enterprises are the ones in charge. They offer a variety of wonderful services, including graphic design. But what I found was most thrilling was the fact that you could hire their monsters for public events and parties. I thought that was really cool. But I had to stop and think about whether or not that was just a seasonal thing, or of it was all year long.
Most people who have known me for the past year and a half now, know that I found this thing called “Monster Escorts”. Certainly it wasn’t how it sounded, right?!? So I sent a message inquiring about that particular service.
The language was a bit stiff, no pun intended. I was told that “Monster Escorts” was for more of an intimate time. That did not help!! Because the zombie chick in the photo of this blog post, I saw from others who went and took pictures, I became intrigued by.
Since I knew last year that I would not get the opportunity to go to the House of Torment to go get my picture taken with this actress, I wondered if their “Monster Escorts” would allow that chance for me to meet up with her and then I would have pictures taken.
Very wisely, I asked them to elaborate on what “intimate” meant. It was quickly explained that it was referring to more of a one-on-one scenario, like going on a date to the movies or out to dinner, rather than having a whole bunch of monsters come out at the same time. It would be just one monster to make an appearance.
Naturally, each monster comes with their own “handler” as they called it. Of course for safety reasons. That didn’t bother me too much. But I never got specific when I inquired to ask whether or not I would get the chance to see this particular actress in an intimate setting.
For the longest time, I contemplated the whole idea. It was kind of hard to take that it would cost $200/hour. But a business is a business. And they are to make money. I just couldn’t make up my own mind on whether or not I wanted to go through with it.
So I asked for a general consensus on Facebook. I said that if I received 40 ‘likes’ on that particular status that I would go through with it and some how manage the money to set up a date with a zombie chick. I only got 17.
Still though, the thought intrigues me again as the season is not that far away. Whether or not they will still be offering the escort services, I do not know. I will have to find out.
What are your thoughts? Should I go for it or should I just leave it alone? Leave your thoughts in the comment section.
But it is coming. The unforgiving heat of June is telling me that once the unbearable weather disappears, then the House of Torment will be open for business yet again. It is something I can look forward to as I lie here miserable in the heat and the relentless use of air conditioning. Something that I can focus on positively.
I suddenly just find myself totally stoked and pumped for it to come! I can’t wait!! Time to get my scare on a little early.
Dambreaker 