Summertime Delivery Blues

It’s very HOT in the state of Texas right now. Record temperatures are being broken almost daily. And there’s no relief in sight for well over the coming week.

For me to get anything, I have been staying inside and using online delivery services for what I need.

I created a small order for groceries. I found this second online delivery service that is far better than the first. Maybe one day I will write a post about it and show you the comparison. But that’s not important right now.

Living in a gated property, instructions were given on how to reach my front door along with the delivery and waited for the selected time in which it was to arrive.

Then the telephone rings. The driver is outside one of the many gates that stretch along the property and wants to be let in.

I verbally repeated the instructions to this woman. And the following responses from her were less than professional or nice.

Over and over again she kept telling me which numbered apartment she was parked in front of. But couldn’t find a key pad to enter a gate code to get on the inside.

A second and third time of repeating the instructions to her, she shouted back “Can’t you just let me inside?? I see a door. Just come open the door.”

I told her she was at the wrong gate and she needed to drive a little more to get to the correct gate. And more argument came from her as she screamed “Just come get me and open this door. I see a goddamned door.”

The first thing that came to mind was to tell her that I was not dressed to come outside.

She then began to cry and whimper about it. She said that if I was not going to come outside and open the door that she was looking at that she would not know how to get my delivery to me. She was obviously starting to give up and was probably getting ready to leave.

I told her that I was on the way.

I had a feeling inside of me that told me that if I actually went around to the other side of the building and opened the door that she kept talking about that she was going to find a person in a wheelchair attempting to make their way down the path and she was going to instantly regret it.

Needless to say, that I hung up on her as she was in the middle of another whining fit.

So out into the horrible heat I went. Today with another record breaking temperature today of 103°F/39°C.

As I rounded the building and she turned and saw me…. the look on her face was PRICELESS. Maybe even Internet worthy.

I did not think of it until now, but I should have went up to the door inside of the gate and told her that the door was locked and I didn’t have the key, or that the door was welded shut to keep people off the property who don’t belong here.

So I opened the door and she immediately went into this wave of apologies and excuses and then back to apologies. She claimed she saw no other gate. And I physically pointed it out to her. She still said she could not see it. So I gave very descriptive terms to her along the lengthy gate on where to find where she should have gone in the first place.

The bags were heavy and she did offer to carry them for me to my home. But I did not want her inside of my home.

I led her to the front door. And as we went along the path I explained to her how roads work and how much easier and more convenient it would have been for her if she would have just followed the instructions that I had provided for her already several times.

She walked in front of me and then I told her which apartment to walk towards. She got to the door and then she proceeded to open it. That is until I told her NOT to open the door and just leave the bags next to the door on the patio area.

Again she gave me another priceless look of disbelief. I really think she’s got a problem with following instructions. Perhaps she’s one of the many kinds of people that don’t like being told what to do. And I would think that if that was the case, she shouldn’t be working as a delivery driver.

I understand that it is hot outside. And I also could believe the possibility that she was running behind on her deliveries.

And I also understand that trying to find where I live can be very confusing. My family had plenty problems of their own when they first tried to visit me here. However the screaming, the whining, and the not following instructions is deplorable.

Just another day in the big hot sweltering city of Austin in the summertime, I guess.

Freakin’ idiot.

Oh, Charlie Hebdo!!

The French weekly satirical newspaper is at it again.

Their most recent artwork for their publication suggests a very serious moment in the time of Hurricane Harvey striking the very heart and soul of the state of Texas.

To those readers who do not speak French, it reads: GOD EXISTS! HE DROWNED ALL THE NEO-NAZIS IN TEXAS!

This rather insulting cover goes above and beyond to be mocking those people who have Christian beliefs, but more focused this is against those people who are victims of the recent hurricane. And they want to call it humor.

The only ones laughing are those at Charlie Hebdo. And definitely not a single person is laughing in Texas.

For those who do not remember, Charlie Hebdo suffered two terrorist attacks. The most recent back in January of 2015 because they dared to publish an image that mocked Islam on their cover. (The same as they have done with the victims of Hurricane Harvey today.) Two Islamic extremists who were heavily armed stormed the office of the newspaper and held people hostage, killing several people and the entire attack left twelve dead and eleven injured.

And now more than two and a half years later, one could argue that Charlie Hebdo have not learned anything. They mock the citizens of Texas during a very severe disaster, casting those who were lost in the storm as Neo-Nazis.

Hurricane Harvey may have left the state of Texas, but millions of people are still dealing with the effects of what the storm brought. Nearly HALF of the state’s population was forced to deal with Harvey in one way or another. And these effects will most definitely be long lasting.

Even though Charlie Hebdo is purely satire, it has the rest of the world in an uproar. Many people are finding the recent publication offensive, tasteless, and abhorrent.

The idea that the victims of this hurricane were Neo-Nazis is one of the dumbest, most ignorant things that I have ever heard.

And Charlie Hebdo sits thousands of miles away, hiding away in their offices filled with self-amusement and laughter while Americans ponder the thought about the newspaper suffering yet again the same experiences they had in early 2015 and if they ever think about having to go through that again.

It obviously  isn’t going to happen. I DOUBT that any citizen of the state of Texas is going to waste their time, resources, and money to fly to Paris to seek retribution against the newspaper because they were offended.

Instead the state of Texas and ALL of its people are rolling their eyes at Charlie Hebdo.

Texas doesn’t have time for any of that nonsense!!!

We are too busy taking care of our own to be worried about what some insignificant weak ass publication may or may not think about the people of Texas. There are people who need help. There are people who are hurt. There are people who are dead. And those are the  people that we will focus our attention on, until this disaster is over and the needs of the people are met.

These people will be attended to. No matter if they are white or black, liberal or conservative, members of the KKK or Black Lives Matter. If they are calling out for help, then the state of Texas and its people are going to reach out to do just that!!! Americans are helping Americans.

We don’t have the time to be divided as Charlie Hebdo would like us to be. This horrible storm has done the exact opposite and brought everyone together in Texas AND all across the United States of America! Millions of people across the land are doing what they can either by donating money or giving supplies and other goods while the employees sit back laughing and try to think of who they can piss off next week.

It is not working as well as they had hoped here in Texas. Nobody here cares about what other nations think of them right now.

So to those employees in Paris:

We don’t need you. You can keep your fries and Eiffel Tower. We already have BBQ and The Alamo.

P.S.A. #04 – The Lap Sitter

“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.”~ Albert Einstein

DISCLAIMER: Every person is different. This is educational post is only for myself and for those that I know who are also in wheelchairs and what they have expressed to be their opinions on the matter, and since I have reached a rather large majority of the consensus, I will list what the results of that majority will be. 

The other night, a strange woman came up to me and just made herself at home while plopping herself down onto my lap. Miraculously, she did not spill her cocktail in the process.

But I swiftly rejected the idea and ejected her from my lap. For many reasons. One..  I did not know her. Two, she was more than obviously drunk. Three, because she is a stranger, I don’t need any possible significant other getting any weird and wrong ideas about what is going on.

So allow me to provide for you some rules as well as dis-spell some myths about able-bodied people sitting upon the laps of those who are confined to wheelchairs.

Rule #1- Before making the decision to do so, always ask the person if they are okay with the idea of having you upon their lap. I would like to believe that this would be the case for anyone sitting on any body’s lap in general.

Rule #2- Do not assume or freak out that the person in the wheelchair is going to cop a cheap feel. If they are touching you, they are more likely concerned about you shifting your weight to the degree that they fear that you are going to fall off their lap and then you end up on your ass. If they do end up in contact of your body in a place that you are not comfortable, chances are greater than none, that it was simply an accident.

Rule #3- Making engine sounds while sitting on a person’s lap, is only going to make that person think that you are immature. Or really drunk. Or something to that. Don’t make jokes about “riding a stick shift” or “go vroom.” Anything of that nature is just frowned upon from the person sitting in the wheelchair. They will probably think you are an idiot, and they will hope that you will get off of their lap as soon as possible.

Rule #4- “Wheelchair Tricks” are out. Not to say that if you are on a person’s lap, that the person is going to say that you are fat, however with the added weight of you being on his lap, wheelchair tricks are going to be twice as difficult to perform, if not impossible.

Rule #5- NO Free Rides. If I had just one penny for every time some random person came up to me, jumped on my lap, and then insisted/requested a ride… I’d be so rich that I could hire somebody else to write this blog for me. It is rude. Its unnecessary. The difference here being that YOUR legs work, and OURS do not. If your legs work…. YOU CAN WALK!! You don’t need a ride. Don’t be fucking lazy. Remember, we are WISHING our legs would work.

Myth #1- People in wheelchairs (males) are not going to get an “automatic erection” because you (a female) have decided to sit on their lap. Although it is true that the person in the wheelchair could possibly joke about that. And the joke is probably coming because they are a little uneasy about you being in their lap for whatever reason may be.

Myth #2- You’re NOT going to end up pregnant from sitting on someone’s lap. Dumb as soup to think that!! Clearly the only way that is going to happen both people are naked and their sex organs make a connection and intercourse begins.

Myth #3- Sitting on a wheelchair person’s lap will NOT give you any STD!! If you think Myth #2 is dumb. This is one is beyond ridiculous. And yet I’ve met people who honestly BELIEVES that it will happen. Trust me: it won’t.

Myth #4- We are not going to piss on you. There are some people in wheelchairs who have such a disability that they deal with problems of incontinence. Not everyone though. But that does not mean that men are going to whip it out and just let loose. Women are not going to just lean closer to you and just have at it. We’re disabled human beings… not gross human beings. Chances are if the person does deal with that issue, you’ll be denied to sit down on their lap for their own protection and state of mind.

Myth #5- Duration will be short. If you are told it is okay to sit, don’t expect to be there long at all. If our legs don’t work, it does not mean that they don’t get tired, and you don’t realize when the best time is to shift your weight around like you do on your own. Or even how to shift your weight. Listen to the person that you are sitting upon. Off means off!

So this small lesson should be helpful for you in the long run, especially for those who are socially connected with the physically handicapped. And if you know me personally… then DEFINITELY pay attention to this. It will save you in the long run.

People Watching

“KISS HER, YOU IDIOT! KISS HER!!!”

“Have character, don’t be one.”~ Sue Ann Cordell

Before I get to the story telling of seeing Echo Temple playing at the House of Blues in Houston, there’s another story I am going to share.

Echo Temple/Houston fans are just simply going to have to wait.

Traveling on the bus has obviously turned into an experience. It is rather easy to get into the habit of people watching. Some are amusing, others make you reflect, and even more people just make you sick to your stomach.

As I awaited silently and patiently for the bus to arrive to take me to Houston, a female caught my eye. But I didn’t approach her, didn’t try to speak to her, didn’t do anything.

She was standing in the shade from a distance. It was cold outside and standing up against the wall didn’t seem like the way to stay warm from the blustery winds.

Soon after I was direct to move to another location so the bus could get by me and get turned around.

This caused me to have to be nearer to this female that I had been watching.

Wouldn’t you know it, FDS struck again!!

Ugh!

I would find out moments later that it was a good  thing that I had not attempted to strike up a conversation with her as some lanky guy came running up to her and handed her a drink. He obviously went away and purchased drinks. One of them or both of them was about to embark on their own journey. And the girl pecked the guy on the lips. Most likely as her way to say thank you.

Aww…

But then she snuggled up to him, shivered a little bit. And the guy just stood there with his arms at his side. Then she cuddled in closer to his chest, starting kissing on his neck and cheek. She attempted many times to kiss his lips again but he kept moving his head around. He wasn’t even looking at her but rather over the top of her head as he was considerably taller than she was.

Maybe its just the fact that I’ve been in a drought lately. But I just couldn’t understand why this guy was avoiding her affections. HOLD HER FOR CRYIN’ OUTLOUD AT LEAST!!! If you don’t want to get involved heavily in some random public display of affection, that’s one thing. But he was not even acknowledging her.

And it made me wonder: How the heck do men get women when they treat them like that?

So then I was loaded on the bus first.

This “bus station” of sorts is located in a large parking lot between some office buildings and a large apartment complex. And as I looked up into the sky… up on the third floor of the apartment complex, I saw a door open to the back patio area. A man walked out 100% NAKED with a joint and smoked it. He stood there – no clothes, not even a blanket- and smoked and toked to his heart’s content.

If this man had decided to urinate over the edge then he would have nailed the bus passengers on the ground below. But he didn’t do that. He smoked marijuana.

Some people.

And then this afternoon on the way back home, I was sitting out in the sun as it was about ten to fifteen degrees COOLER in Houston than it is at home. This man pulls up in the parking lot of the Shell Station where the bus comes to pick up people in that part of Houston. Another peculiar female jumped out of the vehicle and ran for the inside of the store with her bag over her shoulder. I didn’t get a good look and I was hoping that it wouldn’t be FDS again.

It wasn’t.

As minutes ticked away, more and more people who were to board the bus in Houston came crawling out of the cracks. This same girl came out of the store and some gentleman with was right behind her.

I didn’t look at them. But they were standing behind me. And I could just hear this female nagging the man over and over to leave her alone.

I would hear her telling the guy to just go home. To get away from her. To leave her alone. The man was responding but I couldn’t understand any word that he said. She then attempted another option, threatening the man that she would NOT get on the bus if he didn’t leave. And was making these empty promises that she would just walk home.

Don’t people understand that you can be heard in public when you are dealing with an issue like that?!? I guess she just didn’t care.

She got on the bus though. And she was cute. But after hearing all that bitching and nagging, I could just imagine the weirdness that could’ve been had I approached her.

She jumped into one of the seats that was facing backwards. And I had no other choice but to attempt to look out the window for most of the trip because looking straight ahead of me I would only find her staring at me back. And then the awkward quick-look-away would happen. Both for her and I.

I had made the determination within the first hour of the journey home that this female was probably not even in her mid-20’s yet or not yet out of college and still in school.

In a cramped and crowded bus, she would attempt to sleep off some of the long trip. But her head and body kept slumping to the left. Eventually she nodded off so hard that she crashed into the person sitting in the next seat. From the view point that I had, with all of those crushed together bus seats in front of me, when she fell against the other person beside her, it looked like she was attempting to go down on her.

They all had a laugh together. I’m sure she wasn’t feeling it though. So embarrassing that had to be!

She got off the bus quickly. And then she stood there. When I finally got off the bus she came up to me and had a distance of about six feet from me and said “Fuck you, you fuckin’ fuck!” and walked away with her middle finger extended in the air as she pranced away.

Clearly, she’s got issues. And now she’s running loose in the same city that I live in. Should I be concerned? I don’t know!!

She probably felt uncomfortable and insecure knowing that I had been looking at her. Other than that, I offer up no possible theory for her behavior.

Just keep in mind guys: Cute doesn’t always mean a keeper!!!!!

 

Sheeple

 

“And the rest of you, who are standing there like Shropshire sheep!” -The Music Man

Okay ladies and gentlemen, I am far behind on this one. But many thanks to the most awesome VoM for bringing this terminology to my attention and knowledge. Because I had never heard of this word before.

Sheeple (a word combined of the two words “sheep” and “people”) is a term of disparagement in which people are likened to sheep. The term is used to describe those who voluntarily acquiesce to a suggestion without thinking for themselves  to make up their own mind about something.

A lot of these kinds of people are often found on the Internet. Allowing themselves to believe whatever someone else is believing, whether wrong or right.

It is sad to know that there are more people out there in this world who play “follow the leader” when they do not even understand or know who their leader is or what their leader is leading them towards. As long as they do not have to make any personal decisions for themselves, then they are fine by what others are telling them to do or believe.

Time and time again, I’ve stated that humans are full of faults. But this one really burns me to the point where I have rolled my eyes so far in the back of my head that I know what the inside of my occipital bone looks like. And that is BAD.

I hope that people will once again learn to think for themselves. I hope that they will do whatever it is that they want and not bother with the agendas of other people.

Sadly, when sheeple end up taking a bad direction they point the blame at someone else. The blame actually lies upon their own shoulders for allowing themselves to have given up the responsibility of thought and decision making.

There are so many examples out there on this term. But I will not go into a lengthy and boring process of doing so because the fact of the matter is that chances are you either know people who are like that or you are one. When I was researching examples, it had a lot to do with politics. And I will NOT get into that. Especially now.

But I will hold on to hope that people will come to realize that they need to make up their own minds and make up their own decisions when it comes to where to go in life.

 

Locked Doors, Part I

Thursday, the 12th of July will probably go down in the history books. I don’t know if whether I am excited to watch the fireworks or if I will regret getting in the middle of everything. 

It will be time for our usual monthly resident meeting where I live, and the tension is already building. And so far for some it is not a pretty sight.

The long struggle between residents and what they perceive is their enemy, staff members of this apartment complex.

If you have kept up with me for any length of time, you know already that there’s been this battle about keeping the doors open to the community room on the weekends. This hasn’t been allowed to happen in AT LEAST five years. The community room was remodeled and since that point, its been closed on weekends.

My own feelings about the situation is that if it is closed, then it is closed. I’ve learned to deal with it throughout the years. Granted that sometimes my weekends can get extremely boring, but I have just dealt with it and found something else to do to fill my time.

But others are crying foul. They want the community room open for their own reasons. They keep hounding the fact that we are responsible enough to take  care of things on our own. For the very, very few times that it has been open on Saturdays (i.e. private parties) the ones that want it open for all time take advantage of it. But then the Board of Directors who take care of things have insisted that at least one member of staff be present if the community room is open.

Residents get totally psycho about it too. They cry out that we are all adults and that we don’t need a babysitter. But I’ve come to learn that the reasons for having one staff member present is for insurance reasons.

So about a month ago, we had learned that a member from the Board of Directors was going to come to our resident meeting and personally explain their decision to keep the community room closed. However, that doesn’t really work well. That would mean that someone from the Board would have to leave their job in the middle of the day and come talk to us. Some of them cannot afford that type of luxury.

To the Board of Directors, this entire idea has made them sick and tired. They said “NO” and they are frustrated to the max with the residents as to why they seem that they cannot understand that answer. For years and years they’ve repeated themselves to exhaustion.

And since none of the Board members are able to come in personally to the resident meeting, and they are no longer willing to discuss this issue with the residents, it has been put upon the shoulders of the apartment manager to squash the matter once and for all.

I remember making the suggestion that since nobody can come to the meeting, that they put something in writing such as an e-mail or an official letter stating that it came from the Board of Directors. But again, they are tired of dealing with it. Their answer is their answer and they will not bend.

I also learned this morning that the apartment manager got totally reemed by his boss about the matter. And he doesn’t like having that happen. So, I think (for him) that this is now a personal matter and he’s not going to mess with it any more. He is going to make his statements for himself and for the Board of Directors. And once he has finished that, he will no longer talk about it with anyone.

I expect there to be some kind of a reaction. I honestly do! It won’t change things, but it’s about to get VERY interesting around here. My feeling is that some are still not going to accept the Board’s answer and will keep fighting this until their last breath. It sounds as if staff members are going to stand firm, and once this “announcement” is made, they are going to walk away because the matter will then be closed. Will the residents finally “get it”? Or will staff members crumble?

So when I return from the meeting, I’ll be sure to post a follow-up blog.

Hang on to your hats people!! The storm is here!!!

 

 

Roommate Rampage

“Its really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs.”~ J. D. Salinger

For those of us who feel the necessity for a roommate, whether it is for reasons of trying to save money and cut down on the cost of living, or maybe getting a little extra help on outrageous rent, or if it is for the purposes to feed the need for socialization and not feeling alone, selecting a roommate should be a very selective and tedious process. Especially if it is you who is head of household.

One has got to do their homework and yes, even research people whom they might think be potential roommates, because you never truly know what you are going to get.

Throughout my stay on the farm this past week, I’ve seen first hand how important and just how true this really is. I entered into a house out in the middle of nowhere, that already had four people occupying it.

I will attempt to break this down:

• head of household
• cousin to head of household
• boyfriend to cousin
• personal attendant to head of household

So in a sense, you have three that could be considered as “family” and one other. The head of household is a disabled person and a veteran and was in need of help. But deep down, I believe that not only did he need the help, but he needed the social interaction in his life. So when he hired the personal attendant to come live in the house, rent free… he also invited his cousin and her boyfriend to come help out as well.

The problem was that the head of household didn’t tell each individual that the other was coming. And they all lived in one house. It probably lasted less than two months in total.

I had been communicating with both the head, and with the personal attendant prior to my visit to the farm. The personal attendant kept swearing up and down that the house was a miserable place to be, and that she was lonely. The head of household kept trying to get me to come back for another visit, but I had a terrible and boring experience back in April and that just lasted a weekend.

Nonetheless, I foolishly went back. Started to have a better time just hanging out and doing whatever. But the personal attendant was not all that she had made herself up to be, and the situation inside the house was a powder keg, ready to explode.

But I took an entirely neutral stance on the situation. Whenever things were showing signs of getting heated a little bit, I got out of the way. None of this was my fight in any way.

It seemed a bit crazy in there. The boyfriend and girlfriend I thought were rather loud in the house. I thought that perhaps a little volume adjustment in their voices would behoove them, and things would become easier for everyone. They were in their early 20’s. Kids, basically.

The personal attendant though, in her mid-40’s,  was a complete and totally different story. A story of talking like one person, but behaving like another.

For a couple of days though the couple was gone out of the house. It was just the three of us for a while. It seemed more relaxed. The couple were the youngest ones in the house and it had seemed like the atmosphere had changed to a more adult and mature thing.

But what I was missing from the very beginning was the fact that the personal attendant would stay hidden and holed away in her bedroom while the couple was there. Once they were gone, she emerged. (And she said she was lonely?)

While they were gone, the three of us drove into town and went to the grocery store. There was this issue about who was paying for what and who had what money and these sorts of things. I had been told by head of household that I would NOT be expected to pay for anything because I was a guest in his house. So I intentionally left my wallet at home. So the debate of who was going to be paying for food was between the two of them.

Eventually, that got settled as the attendant took care of the grocery bill herself.

Yet throughout the entire time that she and I were by ourselves in the aisles, she would complain about the other two. How dirty they were, how they didn’t do anything to help, how lazy they were, and so on. But I DID notice that she wouldn’t say anything to the head of household, who was essentially– her boss.

I honestly couldn’t see her point of view. How was it “miserable”? She was laughing and having fun and everything in between… as long as the kids weren’t there. But once they showed up, she took refuge back into her bedroom. And honestly, I tell you, she did not come out unless she was called for by the head of household. Not even for meals would she come out to the table to eat. She had always given some excuse as to why she would not join the rest of us.

So allow me to continue. While at the grocery store, she bought FOR HERSELF, a can of pineapples. This is something that she wanted for herself. She didn’t want anyone else to have it. I heard it, the other guy heard it.

The biggest key factor was that the couple didn’t hear it because they were not there.

 The very next day, that can of fruit that only cost 79¢ ignited the powder keg. Fueled by the fact that the three of them were drinking heavily that evening.

They had taken the can and blended the pineapple into a wild cocktail. Then the head of household went knocking on the attendant’s bedroom door to offer her a drink that had her pineapple in it.

I was in the next bedroom online, and checking messages, when all of a sudden the personal attendant came up from behind me and started whispering in total anger. Her face turning red as she tried to keep the volume of her voice down low enough so that the “others” couldn’t hear.

Something was said. The shouting began. And I knew it was coming. I tried to hang on and ignore it but there was really nowhere to go to avoid what was brewing.

A few more times the attendant would storm into the next bedroom where I was on the computer and just start bitching and moaning. The others noticed this. The cousin finally called her out, drunk as a skunk.

Let me also add that every single day that I was there, whenever I was in a situation where it was just myself and the attendant alone in a room or space, she would complain about the others, mainly the couple. Always complaining about the same things repeatedly.

My answers finally were “Go talk to your boss.”, she did NOT heed my advice, at all. She kept coming back with “He won’t listen to me. But he’ll listen to you because you’re his buddy.”

I never really saw her TRY. Whenever she had some kind of worry or complaint, she came to me. I was not there to be anyone’s ombudsman or referee.

Now the cousin kept getting louder and louder, and more vulgar towards the attendant. The attendant actually never did fire back that I recall.  She just decided to keep coming into the bedroom where I was and talk to me. I didn’t care for it because my back was towards the door and I couldn’t “see” her coming. The door didn’t have a lock either so I couldn’t gain that privacy that way.

Eventually the head of household came down the hallway and I expressed that I was not appreciating her barging in on me like she was. That she needed to talk to him. So he was the one that made that move first, instead of her.

She shouted out, “I want my money that I am owed for being here, and I’m gone. I’m outta here. I’m done.” Well, there was no arguing that she had made up her mind. She had said it loud enough for everyone in the house to understand her. Then she finally took off in her vehicle and went some place. Nobody knows where.

She stumbled back into the house later around 3:00 AM. We heard the door open. Actually, the house has a pretty nifty security alarm system that beeped whenever ANY door that led to the outside was opened. You couldn’t get away from it.

I ignored her as I played video games with the others. I finally went to bed closer to 4:00 AM, exhausted… stressed out… and nervous. And it proved that I had every right to be.

I laid down on the couch where I was sleeping in the back living room. There was NO privacy at all there. Anyone in the house could walk through there. I would eventually open my eyes momentarily and there stood the personal attendant, next to the bed hovering over me. Scaring me to death!

She then climbed into bed with me. She again took another opportunity to whine and complain and I kept telling her “Talk to your boss!!”. Over and over again.

Then she was pissed off because I would not allow her to stay in bed with me.  It was already 6:00 AM at that point when I told her to leave. I heard her say as she walked away, “I guess nobody wants to be around me.”

Well ummm.. no, not really. Not with you acting like this. Not with you just standing there over me while I sleep and then also climbing into bed while I am sleep, uninvited. Plus, I don’t know who you are!!

This was all done probably was because the night before, I was sleeping soundly and I woke up to roll over and she was right there in bed with me… snoring.

From the six nights that I stayed in the house, she crawled into bed with me while I slept four nights. And everytime- uninvited.

How terrifying to have someone standing over you, waiting for you to wake up while you are sleeping in the middle of the night!!!

By the time this fight had escalated to the level it had, all I kept saying to myself was “one more night…. just one more night.”

The fighting continued Friday night as during that day, everyone but the attendant went into town. The head of household got a money order for the attendant for the amount that she was told the VA was willing to pay her. Wrote “Final Check” on it and had given her five days to leave.

She didn’t want to leave. She kept saying that she was saying it because she was mad. But the head of household took her serious when she said she was done. So he gave her a money order. Got gas for her vehicle too so she could make it into town to fill up.

But she really didn’t want to leave. Again, she slipped into my bed to wake me up and complain about this, when she should have complained about it to someone else. She vowed that she would “fix everyone in the house”.

The guy’s parents (my neighbors) were coming and I would return home with them. That was supposed to be Friday morning. They didn’t show up. Instead, they arrived Saturday morning. But I thought that I would have that buffer to get away from her while this guy’s parents were there.

For the most part, she stayed in her bedroom on Saturday. Not all day, but most of it. I took advantage of the fact that she was holed up in her bedroom and took a nap. She had stolen so many hours of sleep from me those nights just keeping me awake so she could complain.

Around 3:00 PM, I heard thunder. Actual thunder. I stirred in bed and then I heard the rain just pouring!! And because the entire state is in such a drought… I ran outside and sat in it. Yeah, I probably could have gotten sick but I obviously didn’t think about that.

I was just enjoying it so much because I had not seen it in so long that I went out into a field and stripped down naked. Yep. B A R E – A S S E D   N A K E D ! ! !

(Some of my blog subscribers are probably blushing right now. And a few others are probably attempting to get a mental picture. You’re welcome!)

It rained for a while. A couple of hours I would say, it would let up but kept raining. We all had noticed that the attendant had left. She didn’t say a word to anyone. Just left. And by that point, truth be told that nobody cared or mentioned it or questioned it either.

By 11:00 PM, my neighbors had gone to bed. The cousin was sleeping. The head of household and the boyfriend to the cousin were outside on “an armadillo and snake hunt”.

I was at the kitchen table using a laptop. Then I heard a knock. The doors were locked for the night and it was the attendant. So, I let her in. She then began to tell me this tale about how the father had sexually assaulted her in her bedroom.

PRETTY SERIOUS ACCUSATION.

She said she was scared to even be in the same house as the man. But then I thought about this:

• There are two steps that are built in a corner to gain entry to her bedroom.
• The details of her story of where it happened exactly kept switching from the desk in her bedroom and the closet in the back of the room.
• The man she was accusing of doing this to her, is in his mid-60’s and needs the use of a walker for mobility and his health is fading pretty quickly, especially this past year.
• The time of day in which this had happened, everyone was in the house but she said that nobody else was in the house.

Very weird.

How could he have gotten up those stairs without being detected? He’s pretty slow. WHY then didn’t she scream when he came after her?

Never made much sense. Until I remembered that night of the fight where she “promised to fix everyone”.

Whether it was a plan for her to really cause a stir and try to divide one against the other, or it was actually TRUE that it had happened, I took it upon myself to go outside and tell the head of household that she was accusing his father of this action.

It was over. The guy went back into the house, around 12:00 AM and knocked on her bedroom door as she was sitting there like she had been for days and nights. He started to scream “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!”.

She looked at him like she didn’t know why he was screaming. She reminded him that he had said she had a few days to get out. But he changed his mind because of this accusation. He kept screaming “GET YOUR SHIT AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!”.

It woke up a lot of people. Then he went into the bedroom in which his own parents were asleep and informed them that she was accusing the father of this action.

The argument between head of household and attendant didn’t transpire for much longer as she left the house. When she did, he called the law enforcement and had them send out a county Constable.

Naturally it took him a while to get out there. But by the time the Constable arrived, she had returned to the house with a neighbor from down the road and dragged him into this situation. She even lied to him about WHY he was there in the first place.

She began to gather her things and move it out to her vehicle. One piece at a time. Nobody helped her. The Constable ended up speaking to the head of household, the unsuspecting neighbor, the attendant, the father who was verbally being accused, and me!

Actually, I was the second person he spoke to. And I told him what had been happening since the moment I walked in the door that Monday evening. The roommates simply could not get along was the meat and potatoes of the entire situation. And I spoke of the creepy things that she was doing, like standing over me in bed.

The last two people that the Constable spoke to was her and then the father. But then the Constable called for me again. And I thought that she was going to try and drag me down as well. Scared me to death. But he only asked me what happened during a situation at lunch, which was nothing compared to what was going on already.

Finally, the Constable assisted her in removing her things from the house. He followed her out. I saw and read the copy of the report. She signed it and it said that she understood she was never to return back to the property. If she did, she could be charged with criminal trespass and in this state, that means that she could spend up to 1 year in jail and/or pay a $4,000 fine.

I was home the next afternoon.

This totally long and lengthy story should serve as a warning for those who have potentially put themselves in a situation where roommates do not get along with one another. Always be sure to check out the people whom you are considering as a roommate. Find out more about them before you commit to it. Never allow yourself to be uncomfortable where you live. Especially if it is YOU who are the head of the household. And even if you are not, do not allow yourself to be bulldozed by those who are. Make sure you can get along peacefully with one another. Do not be ashamed or scared to actually do a search on them prior to giving them a set of keys. Find out if they have a past and it will save you so much grief in the long run.

I was no referee to anyone. But I sure was an eyewitness to everything.

Dumping Assumptions

Before anyone begins to cry foul over this post, let me just say that I am going to try to handle this specific subject matter with as much ease as possible, so that my own discernment is not misunderstood.

If I were to add a quote along with this post as I have in many posts before, I think that we all know which would be the preferred selection. This is about assumptions. And since we all already know one by heart, there really is no need for it to be posted here.

With being the totally social person that I am, in that I love to meet new people and make friends, there are those times when an introduction is made and right away I can tell that it probably isn’t going to work out in the end. And so instead of suffering through from beginning until I’ve reached the inevitable end, I simply make the choice not to go after it and allow it to dissolve on its own. Still, I have been told that people have enjoyed my company for one reason or another. I believe that it is always nice to hear something like that. Of course, who really wants to hear something like “You are totally boring! Go away!!”. Well… those who are self-sadistic maybe, but not I.

I have found myself in the past week at three different times, being pulled into a game of “match making” shall we say? Nothing thrilling to write home about by any means, but I guess something to break the monotony of this week’s slow activity. I was introduced to some people by some others that I know.

All of that was fine, until I found out that the reason why these people decided to make the introductions in the first place- was because I have a physical disability and the people in which I was being introduced to some people who ALSO had some kind of disability.

Now I am not talking down against the actual act of the introduction to these people. I am sure that they are wonderful in their own ways as every one of us really and truly are. But what I am vehemently against was the assumption that this person knew two people with disabilities, I and the other person, and believed that some sort of connection would be made based on that fact alone.

As I stated, this happened three times with three separate people over three separate events. The fourth? Well, I actually did find some merit within that person and some interest, so I stuck with it and traded my contact information with them. But the other three was solely based on the other person’s assumptions that “we’d get along great!”, because we have something in common.

Well no, not really. Two of them had different disabilities than mine. Far different lives they live than I do. I can only imagine what they have to go through on a daily basis and by comparison would probably bet money that my life is a bit easier than theirs. But because of the only commonality between these people and myself were that there was a disability… doesn’t always mean that we will automatically end up giving each other the label of BFF.

Yet I was really nice and polite with everyone involved in these awkward instances. It was no surprise to myself and to the other disabled people that we did not make that perfect fit for a friendship. The ones that made the original introductions, stood there scratching their heads in great confusion.

One of them literally came up to me and whispered, “I don’t know what’s going on! I thought you two would hit it off… because you two are so alike, with the wheelchair and all.”

WHAT?!??

#1- Clearly, you are mistakened. #2- You do not know me as well as you thought you did. #3- You did not think this all the way through.

The commonality in this specific example was the fact that the other person uses a wheelchair for mobility. They were not born with Spina Bifida, nor do they have any kind of physical disability in which they deal with on a day to day basis that is medically based. They have the need for the use of a wheelchair because in their past, they were struck by a train and are now confined for the rest of their life to a wheelchair. That was the only thing that was in common.

I really wished that society would think twice before making decisions like these. It really would get rid of any kind of humiliation to be suffered by any one, including those who have made the decisions to assume. Then, it would have been a lot easier on everyone with no pressure.

Now had I gone up to my colleague and they said, “Oh hey, this is ______ , they were struck by a train a few years ago and now use a wheelchair.”, then that probably would have gone over a lot easier than assuming that they would make a perfect match. (Even though it probably would have offended the person from the train accident for having someone else volunteer their personal lives. Probably to the point where it would have still gone over better if they had left it to me to ask them why they were disabled.)

Who knows what could’ve happened then? I might have been able to make a new connection and friendship. But because it was based on an assumption and the entire situation was made uncomfortable for every one there, it failed.

Just because I like women with green hair and three boobs, doesn’t mean you should come up to me and assume that I am going to like your friend who also has green hair and three boobs. Or even white hair and three boobs. You probably just should allow those kinds of decisions to be left up to be made by me.

So I hope that I have not come across like some jerk in this post. Life is frustrating enough for me personally without someone trying to make me into a character from a novel by Anne Rice. Having people lump me together with another group of people based on an outward appearance that shows commonality. It is ridiculous. And I don’t have to say just how stupid it is to assume.

My humiliation from these experiences wore off when I departed from them.  The same probably goes for the other people in which I was introduced. But those who dared to assume that they had someone that would be “perfect” for me will probably bear their shame for some time to come.

Accentuate The Negative

“I have noticed that it’s easy to find things to complain about but training my thoughts to be grateful even when things aren’t going my way takes effort and faith. Sometimes conflict is inspiring. I think it helps us in some ways… IF we don’t let it drive us crazy or crush us.” ~ Jessica Trapp

 

You know what? After having a brief conversation with her today and hearing her opinion on it, I agree with her. It is so simple to slip down into the clutches of being negative and live in it when things in life are not going our way.

 

Human nature has a way to draw us towards the negativity like a magnet. And what is even worse, is the fact that others around us are also drawn into our negativity. So what does that prove? That you are very capable of dragging other people down with you when you don’t need to be doing it at all.

 

Life is full of surprises. Some great, some not so great. Our minds are not trained to focus on the wonderful things but rather we find this wonky comfort in swimming in our own filth. And then the more the merrier. Why? Because now you don’t feel so alone. All eyes on you!

 

What is it about being sad that makes us just wanna scream at the world, only to hear our own voices and to sit in hope that someone will come and rescue us? Or if they are unable to rescue us… then you have their attention and you think that gives you the master opportunity to spread it all over the place and eventually pulling people down into your sadness.

 

There are some people in the world that have experiences that are none other than horribly negative. Their minds are trained that since their life is the pits, then that is the way that they must live. Miserable and sad. It is all a part of conditioning of the mind. These are the kinds of people that will NEVER be happy in life. No matter what happens to them, their minds are controlled to automatically find the worst parts of it and believe that is the core reason as to why things are happening.

 

But for those of us who have experienced happiness and joy before, there is hope. There is not a single person on this planet living today that has gone through life 100% totally happy. Everyone experiences the bad as well as the good. So then, what are you going to do about it when the bad comes in your life?

 

I have seen so many times where people are going through bad days and they just go on and on and on about how bad it is. What happens? Their friends and colleagues come crawling from the dark spaces to run over to them to offer whatever they can: A shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, hugs and kisses even.

 

And I am not saying that these people are bad for offering that extra support and friendliness towards those who are down. But its those who are in a constant state of negativity that cause the problem.

 

Even I get down once in a while. I’m single and lonely, VERY lonely. I haven’t even had a hug or a kiss that was not a greeting or a farewell gesture in over two years. But nobody hears about it. (Well… until just now because you just read about it.) But my point is that even though I do think about how it stinks to be lonely, I don’t go crying about it in front of other people ALL OF THE TIME! And so I focus on those things that have been able to keep me happy these past few months.

 

You tell me that your dog ran away, and that you are sad. Well, I am genuinely sorry to hear that your dog is gone. However, why don’t you go and do something about it? Go look for your dog. Or if you cannot find your dog, get a new one.

 

You just cannot allow your negative emotions drive you insane. It is very difficult and challenging, but a person must learn to condition their minds to focus more on the positive and less on the negative. As far as any social setting is concerned, who wants to be around someone who is so down and negative all of the time? I certainly do not know of anyone like that.

 

If we were able to concentrate on the things that help make us happy, then we are more likely to share in those moments with others, and that too is the same type of influence that we have on another person. You come to them positively, they react positively. You come to them full of negativity, their response will be negative as well.

 

There’s only so much that I personally can do for others. I will listen to them of course. I will offer advice some times too. But believe in me when I say, “After a while, it gets really old. And I just don’t wanna deal with it any more.”

 

Yes sure, you’ll get those people who “wanna help”. You’ll  capture their attention. But it won’t last. People are more accepting of an attitude that is happy and healthy than an attitude of sadness and bitterness. They’ll stick around longer.

 

So instead of focusing on the bad, think about what goodness you have in your heart and in your life. Aim towards fixing what is wrong and keep a better attitude in general. Your true friends will come around more, instead of when you “cry wolf”. And they will be more likely to want to stay.

 

Try and then try harder to condition yourself and your mind to a different way of thinking. Your mental health will thank you in the end.